songs to download

Breaking Benjamin - Medicate
Breaking Benjamin - Breakdown
as blood runs black - intro
Breaking Benjamin - Topless
Cold - 13 Ways To Bleed On Sta
Cold - Stupid Girl (My Life is Long Remix)
Cold - Suffocate
Drowning Pool - The Man Without Fear

why's it always about the hair???

its been since april since i've done my hair
and alot of ppl take it the wrong way and make alot of ppl immediatley say shit!
i've said this before, its not coz i wanna be scene
its coz i wanted a fricking change!
it was something i wanted before this whole 'scene' thing evolved
having the same hair for over 3 years was bothering me so i had to!

everywhere i get looks, stares, whispers even loud ones lol, they're funny

'slutty girl says what.....wat?!' lol

but yeh, i'm used to the ppls looks, it just gets boring, i'm like a walking museum!

i'm getting my hair cut soon and i'm keeping my hair (the fringe will be shorter coz i can hardly see shit!)

and i am looking forward to getting more stares overseas lol

;)

Use My Third Arm-PanterA

Use My Third Arm-PanterA

Enlight your sense of thought, of touch, of real, a shield, An underground for this coward. Building a blood in water scent. It's like some raping, without judgement. Boy in a pocket. Balls in a bag. Serve and Protect you. His dick his gun, his brain his badge. A faster way to kill them all would take too goddamn long. Absorb through pores the great escape. Kill that fuck to show him up. Equal his displeasure now. Stab his Ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for. Ourselves. Arm yourself. A branch. A third arm. Extend your health, Crawl inside euphoria. Building a blood in water scent. It's Like a scraping. It's entrapment. Boy in a pocket. Balls in A bag. Perverted handle. His getting by is a fisted fuck. A faster way to exterminate them takes too fucking long. Absorb through pores the great escape. Kill that fuck to show him up. Equal his displeasure now. Stab his ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for. Ourselves. Half assed for most his life. Piss poor little ham. NARO boy- A fake fuck limp dick. Sucking up to the man. And the world. We need a fucking cold war.

the good, the bad and the ugly immigrants making life hell

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

best quote from ghostbusters

[alternate wording from cable TV version]
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine until the grid was shut down by wally wick here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes sir, it's true. This man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which.

i'm in the mood

¬_¬ for some miccie d's!
but can't have any of that til tomorrow
hopefully i'll be with elwyne til then coz ramz won't be in or he'll be late not sure but thank god, i'm not waiting for the fucking faggot!

and hopefully i'll be able to buy the 2 posters i want
the dragon one and scarface
its a bit stupid though coz i can't even put them on my wall yet coz of the paint coz i gotta wait 2 or 3 months for it to officially dry

¬_¬ useless

but yeh, new stuff i got

a new notebook
plectrum
5 packets of extra chewing gum
new hair gel

everything else i bought with my money is food XD

hopefully i'll get £20 tomorrow like i have been done for the past 2 weeks coz its more easier and i get more money X] but its annoying trying to save some up for the train ticket coz since that incident last week with the ticket office being closed, i lost most of the money for spending an adult ticket so everyday i take the train i'm always worried whats gonna happen

but yeh, just wait and see til tomorrow

lol and i sooo need to do my nails, they're fricking long and coz i'm so used to having short nails, the nails actually feel like they're gonna fall off if i ever scratch something or whatever! but i can't do my nails til before i go on holiday

and its all 15 days to go!
nearly 2 weeks!

*sigh*

anywayz, gonna try and chill for awhile
gotta do ironing today to keep my £2 XD
so yeh, laterz


p.s. i'm talking to Anne (emma's sis)
wooo! its only on myspace but its something!
i saw her on friday and she saw me when i was waiting for the rain to stop with derek and jerry (everythings kool now...i hope lol)

but yeh, shes still cute to me even though they think she looks like a freak ¬_¬

and yeh! i saw ally too! and i heard her voice!
omg! orgasm! lol
derek and jerry saw her and jerry was like, 'why she not wearing any thing at the bottom man?'
lol!

coz she wears tights but this really tight jean shorts and it actually does look like shes not wearing any trousers!

but thats whats so hot about her...

*cough* yeh!
i'm blabbering on

bye!

p.p.s. i'm bored and wanna show u the stuff i got X]

what i fell in love with and out

this girl on myspace randomly messaged me asking me to make her a sign saying i loved her on it and i asked why coz she was gonna put it on her profile and coz she thought i was hot so i was like 'woah wth' and this girl was bi and shit coz she told me before, anywayz, i don't wanna blabber on, at the end i made her the sign, she made me one back and i basically fell for her and she liked me so i was happy like hell but next day, everything has turned sour and she don't msg me back

this is her btw



beautiful...yeh
she was actually gonna come to england for a holiday in 3 weeks but i won't be here
but who cares
she doesn't obviously

my mates

just goes to show you can never rely on trains

monday mornings...
the worst...
why...

well obviously its the start of the week
coming back from a relaxing weekend

but for me
it is seriously the worst day of the week
and argh! the starting of it is what made it bad

as all mornings, i just wanna get my train ticket and go
but the lazy arseholes at the ticket office decided to close so i had to use the self service machine by it and i was worried coz this was my first time using self service and i had a right to be worried coz it didn't take my fricking £20!
and then the dude behind me was tryna help me and show me how to do it and the lil dude behind him was like, 'it don't take £20' but it says it does on the fricking machine so then the dude behind me was like, 'gimme ur £20 and i'll give u 2 £10' so i tried again and thought it would work coz when the dude used his £10 it worked so i used mine and it didn't work!

i'm like, 'omfg! seriously?!' and the dude behind me was sighing so heavily, i just wanted to fucking slap him!
this is like my first time using so give me a fucking break!

so i gave up and ended up missing my train, i called elwyne saying i was gonna be late and then after the train went, 2 ppl selling tickets were there and it was better than nothing and i saw marvin there aswell seeing if he could help me and this is where the funny part comes in...

when marvin asked for a return ticket to maidenhead
and he got to pay £2.70!
this dude has a fricking job and is like 19! (3 years older)
and he got a fricking discount!
and when i asked for a return to reading i got charged adult!

these fucking asians don't know shit in this country, i swear.
most of my money is fucking gone coz of that stupid paki!

i hate these fucking ppl
too lazy to work and getting ppl to sell tickets that don't even fucking work and charging more!

fucking retards

i bet the rest of the week will be like this

but on a fucking monday!

god sure knows how to make a fellow catholic happy

fucking bastard

i thought nothing can make my day better
but then seeing ally 3 times in one day
changed everything =]

cadets

i've been asked many times by my friend lisa to try and join cadets but its something i wasn't really intrested in.

sure u get to fly aircrafts, shoot guns, etc. but its not really my thing.

i've been asked many times to join by my friends that were in cadets and i just felt like i wouldn't enjoy it or it'd be a waste of my time.

but then last nite i got a random comment from emma (one i fell for) and she just randomly commented me on myspace saying i should be a cadet

and i commented back asking 'why' but i've had no reply

and it just made me think whether or not to join
lisa said i should coz i'd be kool lol
like how? lol

so i'm not sure for now, until i get a reason from her, i'll think about it but i gotta go holiday soon so i'll have to think about it, i don't even know if my mum and dad will allow it. but yeh.

i need to know more about it and shit.
i got alot of thinking to do so its gonna be intresting...

nehhh

my room has been repainted and at the mo, i'm getting all high on the smell lol

but yeh it was hell, i could use my comp til the next day and i had to sleep in my mum & dad's room (not with them in it...thank god)

it had a comfy bed and all but omg! i got like 6 distractions in one day!

even with my music on i still got woken up by like every member of my family, it was annoying.

but its over now and i'm back in my room, but my bed covers are still missing and the curtains for my window so its not complete just yet lol

and about the money problem, i had enough, i even got new batteries which left me with less money, i got enough for a train ticket tomorrow (thats if the inspectors don't come early ¬_¬) but then once i pay for my train ticket, i'm left with 85p lol and i got long morning coz my class don't start til half 10 and me and ramsey have a break to ourselves for 2 hours.

so hopefully i can get some food with 85p lol

i still have a whole packet of monster munches in my bag but i might be eating those today XP

anywayz, i'm hungry even mentioning food so i'm gonna go, the thought of having an open clear window is making me paranoid

so bye bye!

its funny

how i had £21.50 (including £2 from ironing so thats £23.50)
and now i have £9.29

lets go through the maths

i spent £2.85 on my train ticket
now i have £20.65

i gave £1 to ramsey coz he lent me money for the nightmare before christmas wallet

now its £19.65

i bought a primo cappacino at costas for £1.90
now its £17.75

i bought new earphones which were £4.99
now its £12.76

i was hungry so i bought a mc chicken sandwich meal at miccie d's which was £3.29
now its £9.47

and take away that with 35p for chewing gum, i had extra change somewhere which made it £9.29

the reason why i have that much money is coz my mum couldn't be bothered to keep waking up early to give me money so she gave me my pocket money for the whole 3 days

which was supposed to be £24 but shes giving me that on wednesday

¬_¬

so yeh, as i was saying
i need to spend £2.85 for my train tomorrow
take that away with what i have now and thats £6.44
but then add the £2.50 i'll get on wednesday, it'll make it £8.94 but then take it away with my next train ticket, it'll be £6.09

i'm being extra careful with my money
i don't wanna spend all of it coz then my mum won't give me anymore if i don't have enough for a train ticket

i need to be right in my maths lol inbetween, i might a lil' snack here and there but thats it.
no more expensive stuff
although i need new gloves but my mum is gonna stitch the ones i have now and hopefully still keep my hands warm X]

so yeh
i better have enough money
i'll make extra sure of it XD

anywayz
maths lesson is over
tata XP

reeaaallly bored

I am: VivaLaAnne!
I need: a relationship
I want: a relationship
I wish: i could have a fricking shower already and eat coz i'm hungry
I feel: tired
I hate: a few ppl
I love: my mates and family
I can't handle: being single
I miss: my cousins
I think: i should stop doing these surveys and take a shower already!
There is no need to: do these surveys
Life is: not complete without someone to live it with
Love is: hard
Last weekend: i was watching movies with my bro and his gf
Tonight: i did nothing but sleep
I am allergic to: nothing
Let's go: rave!
I would: eat and take a shower but i can't get off the fucking computer
When I fall for someone: i'm too scared to tell them and when i do i never get the right answer
My hands: have black nail polish on them =P
When I am alone: it feels quite nice but gay =[
I am listening to: Lacuna Coil - Humane
The last person I called was: my bro
The last text I recieved said: Im on my train, were gonna b there soon
Hugs are: nice
My house : is boring
There is a thin line between: something =S
My best physical feature is: my dimple lol
The last person I kissed: =X
The future: is something i can't predict
It's funny how: i still do these surveys when i wanna do something else
My favorite Dane Cook quote is: who wants some yums yums, i made snaaaaaaaaaaaacks!!!
The best BATMAN movie is: batman forever
I cried: can't remember when
Hospitals are: smelly
My shoes: are downstairs
I think porn is: umm...why u asking me? heh hehe heh... lol
When I was little: i didn't have a fringe XD
Cake: pie is better XP
I can't seem to find: a person to be with X[
I like my jeans: if u say so lol
I prefer: that this quiz wasn't so long!
I wish he/she would: like me
Rap music: is ok, i used to like it so i have a bit of it still in me
I remember: alot of things...when they are actually mentioned to me lol
This one time: at band camp... lol i love that movie
I love it when he/she: gives me a pie! mmm hmmm
Nothing makes me smile quite like: lisa =]
Tattoos are: something i want in the future
Piercings are: kool but when u go overboard and get chased by a magnet, don't blame me
I have a scar: on my knuckle, dunno where it came from
The best revenge is: sweet =P

bored

This quiz contains 9 sections. Each of these sections has 10 questions.
Some of the questions are multiple choice, but the others you need to answer yourself.
Please answer all of them, thats the whole fun of it.....

Section 1: Sexual Attraction - Multiple choice.

Piercings or Tattoos: both
Fuller Figure or Slim: don't mind
Blonde or Brunette: don't care
Body or Intelligence: not fussed, just not too intelligent coz i'm a dumbass lol
Obsessive or Selfish: neither lol
Neat or Rough and ready:um...neat and ready i think
Casual or Formal wear: whatever
Male or Female: both
Popular or Anti-social: don't matter
Long or short hair: doesn't matter!

Section 2: Relationships - Multiple choice.

Internet or Long distance: neither
Dump or be dumped: neither!
Relationship or Open Relationship: relationship
Someone older or younger then you: not fussed, just not too young
A male or female partner: answered this already
Kiss romantically or full on make out: both
A thoughtful or expensive present: Thoughtful
Sex on the first date or wait a while: wait a while
Talk to a partner online or on the phone: online
Long term loving relationship or quick and fun: long term

section 3: Myspace - Multiple choice.

Met your friends or randomly add: both
Be open on your profile or keep it limited: keep it limited
Normal layout or Overlay: Normal
You have under or over 1,000 friends: Under, used to have over but most of them were a waste of time
Messages or comments: Comments
Use your blog as a diary or random stuff: both
You think Tom is hott or not: Not, hes a retard!
Post bulletins for attention, or talk to people first: i post bulletins for anything
You would or wouldn't meet someone from myspace: Would
You fancy a myspace friend or once did: did but theres 2 other ppl now =P

Section 4: Personal questions - Your own answers.

What is your sexuality: bi
At what age did you have your first real kiss (tounges): 7
Have you ever had a crush on one of your best friends: yeah
Would you do more then kissing with the same sex: yes
Do you follow the phrase "don't knock it until u've tried it": lol i've never even heard that phrase
Are you into things like phone and cyber sex: no
Would you trust someone to tie you up: not rily lol
Do you prefer Kisses or cuddles?: Both

Section 5: Family - Your own answers.

How many brothers and sisters do you have: 2 bros and a half sis
Are you an only child: no
Do you have any step brothers and sisters (if so, how many):
Are you and your sibling/s constantly rowing:rarely
Would you rather go shopping with your mum or dad: mum but my dad lets me buy anything if it ain't that expensive
Which family member does your personality most resemble:apparently i resemble my bro chris or my dad
Which family member do your looks most resemble?: my mum coz i saw a pic of her when she was 12 and she sooo looked liked me! lol
Do you hate any of your family (if so, who): its on and off
Are your relatives close to you or live far away:far far away
In your generation, which family member do you get on with the most: my bro chris

Section 6: Food and Drink - Multiple choice.

Tea or coffee: cappacino biatch!
Fruit or vegetables: Fruit
Plain or chocolate disgestives: chocolate digestives
Mcdonalds or burger king: mc donalds
Pasta or rice: pasta
Beer or Spirits:beer
Lemonade or Coke: Coke
Red leister or Mature cheddar cheese:mature cheddar cheese
Ham or Luncheon meat: ham
Plain or flavoured water: Plain

Section 7: Music and Films - Multiple choice.

Horror or Thriller: Horror
Crime or SCI FI: Crime
Romance or Physcological: romance
Chick flick or Comedy: Comedy
Factual or Fiction: ????
Rock or Metal: both
Accapella or Instrumental: instrumental
Techno or Dance: techno techno techno
Pop or RNB: neither
Punk or Death Metal: both

Section 8: Nature - Multiple choice.

Animals or Plants: Animals
Day or night: Night
Sunrise or sunset: Sunset
Stars or clouds: Stars
Winter or Autumn: winter
Spring or Summer: spring
Rain or snow: Snow
Rainbows or Shooting stars: shooting stars
Past or Future: Future
Science or Religion: Science

Section 9: You - Your own answers.

Who do you fancy at the moment: 2 ppl that i rather not mention X]
Your current relationship status: Single
Do you smoke, drink and/or do drugs: smoke occassionaly, drink only with mates and drugs...never!
What are your bad habits: get angry or annoyed quite easily, play with hair alot XD
To you, what is the key for a successful relationship:trust and dedication
What do you look for in the opposite and/or same sex:eyes, body, etc.
Have you ever had a paranormal event or Deja vu: think so, yeh
Do you believe in love at first sight: no but i believe in lust at 1st sight
A random fact about yourself: i love pie

Copy all the text from this bulletin, paste it into a new one of your own, and answer the questions about you.

new wallet

=Z

first thing, i got a new nightmare before christmas wallet for £4 at a disney shop in reading which is rily kool coz it glows in the dark...at least that what it says lol

but yeh, its rily kool, i can't be bothered to take pix, maybe some other time, too tired X[

next thing, my earphones

didn't even last a month!

already, they've started to fuck up
they're starting to not make any sound on one earphone and i have to keep playing with the wire to make it work.
even the ear pads have fucked off

so now i gotta buy new ones
and this time i might get the £4.99 ones if they're there or if any exist lol
it would leave me with not much money for food like today because i spent it on mcdonalds breakfast and the wallet which ramsey had to lend me £1 for btw, so that was kool but i gotta pay him back on monday so i'm tryna think of a way to get more money.
coz i get £8 a day
my mum sometimes gives me £10 coz she can't give me the right change so heres how it goes

£2.85 goes to the train ticket
then £2 for my mum coz my orginal pocket money is £8
so it leaves me with £5.15
£1 will be given to ramsey
which will leave me with £4.15

45p away from the earphones

but i need the food! lol

so i'm gonna try to do some ironing to get more money hopefully, by then i hope i get enough for new earphones and food for my full day on monday ¬_¬

now thats sorted


when i was walking out of the train station from college today, i coulda sworn i saw paul but he looked too tall and i didn't see the face so neh

but while i was walking, someone was walking back behind me and it was him! paul! not the same dude i saw but paul! i realized after turning around while i was crossing the road where he turned somewhere else.

he looked at me aswell and it was scary! i just quickly turned around again and tried to ignore it.

its so weird, and he doesn't live far from me i think which makes it even more freakier!

argh! i dunno! i don't even know if he still likes me coz i looked at his profile and he says he likes blonde girls lol
and i ain't blonde so fuck that lol

and omg! i saw ally! so fricking hot! argh! omg! i was being a fool with my friends and then out she comes. quite frankly, i don't care if i look like a fool in front of her, its the same with all ppl really lol

but yeh, she blows me away X]

and i love my friends at class, espicially derek, jerry and caren, i've started to get used to them alot better and they're really kool. i was hanging around with them all day today and walking to the town with them after college was just fun! sux that i ain't gonna be that close with them after we take seperate courses =[

ooo and theres this girl that captured my eye at college
i looked at her myspace last nite and shes alrite
shes bi, 17 and shes related to emma

noo not the emma that rejected me but the emma that ramsey likes

shes cute though but shes not sure on her orientation so i'm liking the sister at the mo

heres a pic



and heres the sister that ramsey likes...



so me and ramz are basically going for twins here lol
its such a challenge but i ain't getting anywhere these days lol

so yeh
i'm tired
this is a bit of a long blog so i'm out
i'll post pics of the wallet up soon

also planning to get new gloves or get my mum to stitch up my old gloves coz they're holey lol

mrr yeh! me...go...sleep
bye

i so would

she goes to my college, and sometimes goes on the same train as me. this was the girl that messaged me about paul and shit. quite frankly i just want her more than paul lol

i don't have a chance coz shes straight annnnd shes better looking. even if she was bi or gay, i probs still wouldn't have a chance but i saw the comments she left on paul's profile and she actually viewed my pics and she likes the ones in my school uniform! lol and she actually reads my bulletins!

thats enough for me lol

another blog on my day off

hey peeps
finally decided to do a blog, well its my day off and i'm actually bothered to do one and i got some stuff i need to lay out on some toast here

first things first, i gotta go to a presentation at my school coz they're giving out gcse certificates.
i see no point in everyone going if its just gonna be for the people that had good grades. Like me, i'll be only getting one ¬_¬ but yeh, i guess the main reason why i'm going and everybody else, is to see their mates. Like who wouldn't want to seriously? lol

but another thing thats bothering me is the dressing smartly crap we gotta do. my friend was bitching to me the other day saying its semi-formal and crap and i'm like 'wtf is semi-formal!?! i'm wearing what i want, i can't be bothered' and she was like, 'well be bothered and make a effort'

she ain't my fucking mum! why the hell do i have to listen to her crap!

i'm wearing jeans, and a normal t-shirt, with trainers. nothing wrong with that, its nothing special, not like anyone big is gonna be there. i'm probs only going up once so why give a shit.

anywayz, i think i made my point clear, i can't really be bothered to go on about it. i guess i just want it over and done with, no hassle, no fuss. just over!

ooo and i can't really be bothered to type more coz i'm hungry and like all things, just get it over and done with lol

but i wanna tell you about yesterday, the stress and exhaustion me and my family went through lol

i was worried that my mum didn't post my thing to say i was going to the presentation evening at school and i had a right to be worried coz she didn't!

she went out, passed the school and the envelope was right in front of her! so when i came home back from college she forced me to go with her to post it coz she was too lazy to get out of the car so i forced myself to go. and coz of traffic, when we got there the office ladies already left but thankfully the cleaning lady said she'd put it in the office for me which was swell so thank u office lady XD

then after, we had to go to langley and pick up my bro theeeeen my mum wanted to pick up my dad from work and i even fell asleep coz of how long this was taken, once my bro reached him he said he was still working and won't be finishing til another hour or so and my mum still wanted to wait coz if my dad went home with the lorry ppl would be complaining about it again (bunch of faggots)

but then later on, my other bro was at the highstreet so we decided to pick him up first, my mum said walk or run but he had a bad leg and it would've taken him 10-20 mins but then wanted to take a bus but we decided to pick him up, facing more traffic and then after, we went to get some pizza! yum yum yummy! =P then we went back to my dads work, waited 10 mins and he finally came, picked him up, went home laughing about stuff (weird stuff u probs won't understand) and the whole duration of this trip took nearly 3 hours!

i'm just glad to be home lol

what happens when u don't bring ur timetable to college

when my 1 hour and 30 minute break started i saw elwyne and hung out with for lunch but they had to go back to class so i basically spent like 10 mins with them

wasting like 20 mins of my break

i thought my class was at 12.15 so i decided to go out quickly with ramz and once we shopped around a bit it was 12 already so i was hauling my ass back to the college and the time i arrived there was 12.25 and when i finally arrived there was a different class going on and i looked at the timetable next to the door and my class wasn't til 12.45!!!!!

moodafooka ¬_¬

theeeen after that class i finished i thought my maths class was gonna be at 2pm so i spared the 10 mins i had at the ict suite, rushed back to the class and realized it was 2.15 instead

¬_¬

a great annoying excercise...

YH! :D

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getting over it

she apologized for being a bitch about the whole just wanting to be friends thing and i couldn't possibly care now, i was just like yeh, don't care. you can feel bad but you won't feel bad for long.

seriously, 5 ppl liked this person!
and shes said no to all of them!
how could i possibly compete with those ppl? she even went out with one of em!

this person is 2 years younger than me and i know for a fact shes too good for me.

lost her virginity, already had sex with the same sex.

could never get to that point.

i only kissed a girl a couple of times and had sex twice. thats it.

argh! i just want a girlfriend! get over her!

fuck!

it's already over now

i texted her last nite
turns out she don't like me that way

just as i expected

so i've given up

and gone back to the way i was

she finally knows

in the way i was least expecting it lol
i was telling my friend how much i really like her and she was asking me to tell her but i was like, 'nah i can't, don't have the guts' then she was like ok, shall i like talk to her about stuff and then go onto the subject on what she thinks of you and go on from there

and i saw no problem in that

until she actually told her!

i told her she didn't have to go that far but it was too late and she knows

and its probably the worstest thing now

coz she doesn't know how to react, she didn't know what to say and stuff so that was one disaster already happening.

shes probs gotten over it now, coz shes off on myspace and doing whatever. my friend said she needs time to think about it and that but i think she isn't that bothered anymore

so it was all a waste of my time i guess

and i feel a whole lot down now

just really really reeally down

like the person finally knows u like them but it doesn't matter

i dunno what to do now

i can't forget about it coz its still eating me up inside

and the more she doesn't seem bothered about it, the more i feel like i don't like her anymore

this sux

i guess average???!

-22 = ghetto
23-33 = average
34-43=spoiled!
44 = way upperclass/rich

Check each that applys do u have:
[x] Mother
[x] Father
[] Sister
[x]Brother
[ ] Nephew
[] Niece
[x] Cell phone
[ ] Own bathroom
[x] Own room
[x] 2 story house
[ ] Swimming pool
[ ] Hot tub
[ ] Guest room
[x] Computer, Laptop or Desktop
[x] TV in your room
TOTAL SO FAR: 8

[ ] Fullsize or bigger bed..
[] More than 5 pairs of shoes
[x ] Sunglasses
[ ] Watch
[x] MP3 Player/iPod
[] PlayStation
[ ] xbox
[] Nintendo DS or PSP
[] Gameboy/ Advance
[ ] Gamecube
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[ ] Basketball hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[ ] Fooseball table
[ ] Trampoline
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[] Nightstand
[x] Stereo in bedroom
[] DVD player
[ ] Have something from abercrombie and fitch or hollister
[x] Get $100 a month, btw thats £53.33 :]]
[ ] Shop at AE
[] Owns a Gucci, Dooney & Burke, LV, Guess, etc.
[] Wears Lacoste (perfume)
[] Parents give you credit card
TOTAL SO FAR:12

[] Job
[] Goes shopping at least every two weeks
[x] AIM/MSN/YAHOO
[] Camera
TOTAL SO FAR:13

[] electric or gas/scooter/motorcycle/car
[x] guitar/drums/bass guitar
[] Piano/Keyboard
[] Any other instrument
[] Hammock
[] Been on a cruise
[x] Traveled out of the state
[x] Had a personal trainer
[x] Expensive jewelry
[] Met a celebrity
TOTAL SO FAR:17

[] Straightener/curling iron
[ ] Been to a batting cage
[] Had 100$ at one time
[] Credit card or atm card,debit card
[x] Been to Europe
[ ] Been to Hawaii
[ ] Been to NYC
[ ] Been to Cali
[x] Been to Florida
[ ] Been to Las Vegas
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
TOTAL SO FAR: 19

[] Car
[] Jet
[] camping
[ ] Been to 5+states in the US
[x] 100+ buddies on myspace
[x] More than one house
TOTAL SO FAR: 21

[x] Home cooked meal almost every day
[] Been in a limo
[] Been in a helicopter
[] Own a camcorder
[] Own a laptop
TOTAL:22

Now add it up!!!
then put ur # and wat u r!

till this day, i'm still annoyed

with those sluts kerrie and sarah!
i know i shouldn't, but i did go on their profile a few times and i read the comments kerrie left and i didn't know she could still be a bitch til now!

arghh! and i might see them next week!
the thought of being in the same room as them will just make me sick!
i heard sarah didn't wanna go but her mum is forcing her to go which makes it worse coz i don't wanna see her or her slut companion!

i hope all goes well next week.
nothing bad happening or embarassing.
i'll stick with my peeps and that.

anywayz, i feel like calling brenda now
shes always there to talk to when i need it.
and i need to tell her a few stuff

so later

i like her too much

everyday i think about her
everywhere i go, shes still on my mind
i get excited whenever she goes online
i get even more excited when she messages me

i wanna be with her
more than any other person i've had my heart set on
i wanna tell this person how i feel
but scared of what will be said back
will she feel the same way?
will she say no?
and i'll be one of those 5 ppl that have already had their heart set on her


i more than like this person
i love her
and i'd do anything to be with her
i wish she could see how much i feel for her
and understand the pain of not being with her

she will never truely know
and soon
i hope she does

Untitled

I wish I could forget you
But the image of your face is everywhere I go
It's too late, there's no fate
And I rather forget than to complicate
'Cause my heart is not set in the right direction
And I'm starting to lose all this affection
That I had, and I'm glad
That you found someone else when it could never be me

You were the one I was hoping for
Someone I could cherish and appreciate more
But that's gone, I'll move on
You were everything I had
Someone I was wishing for
But my dreams have been washed up on the shore
Now you're gone, I moved on
And I can never get you back

You were all that I had
And I can never get you back
The thought of you gets me mad
'Cause I can never get you back!

Rain

I look up
I feel the water drip from my face
I look down
I see a puddle of my disgrace

So help me
The rain won't stop falling on me
And it's getting harder to see
I feel ashmed of the person I've been
So I pray
That my sins will be forgiven today
And the darkness will begin to fade
So God will you please help me
And stop this rain from falling on me

It's so hard
My body feels much heavier now
It's not easy
To figure what this world is all about

You can't save me (you can't save me)
From hurting (from hurting)
From deserving (from deserving)
This pain that I feel everyday
And I'm searching (I'm searching)
I'm learning (learing)
Learning that life is always this way
So rain can you please come back some other day...

My Own Prison

Everyday is the same
I got nothing else to do
I sit by my window
Wondering what all my friends are up to
I know it's a waste of time
Staying here with nothing to do
But my parents hardly let me out
And there's nothing that I can do

I'm locked inside my own prison
I think it's something that I deserve
You could say it's not fair
But my lessons are never learnt

It's hard getting a job
My parents won't give me much
I'm just a slob
Staying in this room all day long
Time is passing by
And there's still nothing for me to do
This life is just too boring
And everything around me is starting to get annoying

I always cry thinking of
The memories I had back then
Where I could almost go out everyday
Having fun with my friends
Going to shops with my family
I miss those times so much
But now we're all getting older
And those times are fading away
I think I'll be stuck here
For the rest of my days

random song me and my bandmate wrote but didn't finish it

It looks like the one
Callum's brother tried to hump
His face was like he was trying to take a dump
He tried so hard to stop the cat from screaming
We could not believe what we were seeing

I'll be just fine
Coz when I look up
I see that kitty
Caught up in a tree

When we saw a cat up a tree
Trying to get a bird for free






and thats it lol

Last Day

song i wrote on my last day at my high school

Time has gone so fast
If I had the change
I'd live it back
To the start
Does this have to end?
Will I be able to see my friends
again

I'm not ready to go
I'm not ready to leave
I'm not ready for this
I'm not ready to start this all over again

I'll miss you
I'll miss everything we do
Do we really have to say goodbye?

Ms. Slade's Multiplications

Add me
And then subtract me
So I can get my
Multiplications
Multiplications
Multiplications

Why
Are you
Making fun of me
Fun of me
Fun fun f-u fun of me, so you can get your satisfaction

Ramsey, why aren't you learning your maths?
Stephanie, why are you making fun of my voice?
Brenda, why do you let anne-marie do such non-sense?
Kerrie, why do you laugh at anne-marie's impression of me?
Sarah, stop watching green wing and learn some maths?!
Sit down and learn some
Multiplications

Memory

I've been thinking too much about
Something not worth talking about
But everyday it becomes more aggravating
The touch of your skin is so relaxing
My mind is too caught up on you
And I just don't know what to do

'Cause I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit, to even think about you
You don't matter at all

Get out of my mind
Erase thoughts left behind
'Cause I'm too caught up in the memory of you
Why can't you see
The person I'm starting to be
I'm still caught up in the memory of you

This is so annoying
It's really getting to be
I don't have the time to be thinking about someone like you
You're a waste of headspace
But you're hard to replace
There was no one as better than you

I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit, to even think about you
You don't matter at all

Get out of my mind
Erase thoughts left behind
'Cause I'm too caught up in the memory of you
Why can't you see
The person I'm starting to be
I'm still caught up in the memory of you

I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit
To even think about you
You don't even matter at all

Pain

I stand alone
Looking at these blood stained mirrors
Could I see a better vision of myself
Could it be any clearer
But I see, that there is no reflection
I think my existence is fading away

These days are so hard to get through
I'm slipping further away
And would you ever get to see through
The pain I feel everyday

I don't know what to do
So lost and confused
Would you feel sympathy
Or leave me abused
You're so cold

If I, fall down
Would you give me your hand?
If I, expressed
Would you even understand?

Run

You're too scared to face the problem
Instead of staying to solve them
You run
So far away

Why don't you run
You think it's the best thing to do
Why don't you run
It's all you ever do

Would you run
So far away
Leaving everything behind
All alone, no where to stay
Did it ever cross your mind
That you're weak
You're just begging for sympathy
Show no mercy

So selfish
You can't see
That this world is a misery
You will get nowhere
If you don't stand up for yourself
You're not the only one

If you run
You're leaving the worst pain with you
But if you run
The memory will stay with you
And if you run
You'll never get strong
If you run
You'll face the pain alone

Don't Leave

It's been cold days since you've been gone
And I'm stuggling to carry on
I'm getting weaker by the minute
Why's you leave? I still can't believe it

And I'm all alone
There's no one else to go to
And I'm trying to hold
My one last bit of hope

Don't leave
My life ain't complete without you
Don't leave
You're a long lost memory that's forgotten
Don't leave
This pain is too much for me
You're my only memory

These days aren't the same but my heart is not willing to change
It's on the same direction
What were you thinking? Letting my heart sink in your pool of deception

Don't leave
My life ain't complete without you
Don't leave
You're a long lost memory that's forgotten
Don't leave
This pain is just too much for me
You're my only memory

Inconsiderate
Such a shame
Am I the only the pawn in this game
Please stop holding me down
Such a fool
So severe
Fight me back and hold my tears
I'm so cold without you

Someday

There's too much pressure on my mind
I wanna leave this all behind
Start a new life
Make things right
And take back everything I held inside

Someday
Everything will change for me
I'm sick of living my life in shallow dreams
I'm breaking down
Falling too fast
Someday I'll stop living in the past

I'm starting a new path
Rewinding back to the start
Your words of discouragement
Has hit straight to the heart
I will not forgive you

Someday
Someday, a new path is on my way

Unite

Am I here?
Am I the only one?
I'm not so sure
Of what I've truly become
And these years, full of tears
We are fighting for
Ourselves because in this world
I'm not so secure

Will you be leaving me tonight?
Leave me alone in this fight
And now I'm dying here
Gone far away

Am I the fool?
Am I the jester?
So ridiculed
Could I feel better
For myself, and this world
Will we be hoping or choking on these words
You promised, you never kept your promises!

Am I done?
Are we the only ones in this world
Are we afraid?
'Cause tonight, we will unite
FIGHT!

Will you be leaving me tonight
Leaving me here to fight
And now I'm dying here
Gone far away

Does anyone wanna be alone?
Leave this world so cold
To make this place better
We have to fight!

Old Days (Change)

What's gone on in the world today
Simple lives have become busy days
And when I wanna go out, my plans are delayed
I don't think I'll ever see my friends
I hope this is not the end

This world is changing
Things are re-arranging
Why can't things be like the good ol' days
And when I go out, its not the same
I don't want to live a life derranged

Do you ever agree what I'm saying
Happy days have turned to suffering
And does anyone think like me
Think what this world could be

These chavs, I wished they die, stick a needle in their eye
Why does this have to be
Money gone to waste, people's lives are at stake
I wish things were like the old days

100 Facts bout me!

1. Full Name: Anne-Marie Felipe Kelly
2. Nicknames: VivaLaAnne!
3. Birthday: 18th April 1990
5. Zodiac Sign: Aries
6. Male or female: Female
8. School: St Joseph's
9. Occupation: Student
10. Residence: At home
11. MSN Screen Name: Take me away from these people watching from me just tell them im busy so fuck off and die
12. Hair Colour: Dark Brown
13. Hair Length: over my shoulders
14. Eye colour: Hazel
15. Weight: Duno
16. Height: probs 5'6''
17. Braces? Nope
18. Glasses? Nope
19. Piercings: ears
20. Tattoos: Nope
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty
___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Ramira Fernandez
23. First Award: sports day i think
24. First Sport You Joined: Kick Boxing
25. First pet: Dog
26. First Real Vacation: Philippines
27. First Concert: Alive concert thing @ skool
28. First Love: ...

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: Queen Of The Damned and Interview With A Vampire
30. TV programme: Spongebob
31. Colour: Blue
32. Rapper: The Game! blob lol and eminem
33. Band: Linkin Park
34. Song Right Now: Lostprophets - Always All Ways and Smile Empty Soul - The Hit, Chevelle - The Red
35. Friends: Brenda, Lisa, Simon, Emmanuela, Ramz, Jono
36. Sweet: Haribo's =P
37. Sport to Play: Basketball
38. Restaurant: Pizza Hut =P
39. Favourite brand: don't have one, i just wear whatever
40. Store: Blackwells, Prescence and HMV
41. School Subject: Music
42. Animal: PENGUIN!!!
43: book: interview with the vampire, the vampire chronicles
44:magazine: Kerrang!, rocksound and Metal Hammer
45. Shoes: adio

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Hungry
47. Single or Taken? Single
48. Have a crush: yush =[
49. Eating: want to be
50: Drinking: saliva
51. Typing: On Here n MSN
52. Online? Yes
53. Listening To: Element Eighty - Bloodshot
54. Thinking About: going to get something to eat
55. Wanting To: Go and get something to eat
56. Watching: myself typing this
57. Wearing: linkin park t-shirt, grey bottoms
___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? Yes
59. Want to be married? Yes
60. Careers in Mind: something involved in music
61. Where do you want to live: Somewere far far away from slough lol
62. Car: A nice 1

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: i don't mind but on guys i like blonde hair
64. Hair Length: don't matter
65. Eye colour: don't matter
66. Measureents: mrrr don't care
67. Cute or Sexy: don't matter coz i'm not much of a looker myself lol
68. Lips or Eyes: Both
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both
70. Short or Tall: Middle
71. Easygoing or serious: Easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both
73. Fatty or Skinny: not too much of either
74. Sensitive or Loud: Both
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: A bit of both

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: Yes
79. Had Alcohol: Yes
80. Smoked: yes
81. Ran Away From Home: was close to
82. Broken a bone: Nope
83. Got an X-ray: yea
84. Been with someone: no
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: I would never do that
86. Broke Up With Someone: no
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes
88. Cried At School: Yes

__Do You Believe In___

89. God: yes
90. Miracles: Maybe
91. Love At First sight: yeh, just happened recently
92. Ghosts: Yes
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: erm..yea suppose
95. Heaven: Yes
96. Hell: Yes
97. Angels: Yes
98.Kissing on The First Date: Yes
99. Horoscopes: Yes
wtf happened to 100?!??!

my day with lisa

today was actually pretty good
despite the fact we didn't do much it was alrite, its nice to be out with someone than staying at home doing nothing.
and if u wanna know if the person i liked came...?

didn't come after all =[
coz she had to work at her dad's pub

in a way i was relieved coz i wouldn't have to feel nervous but the bad side was not meeting her.

but later on, i actually did wanna meet her. i asked lisa if we could go to the pub but she said she didn't know exactly where it was.

but yeh i'll talk about the day

i was late on getting there to start off with coz i went to the shop to buy chewing gum then the walk itself was longer than i expected, i woulda brought my skateboard but i couldn't see coz of my hair so i arrived about 10 mins late which was ok with her coz she said she wasn't properly ready and i also had problems remembering the house number lol even though she told me it when i called her before i was gonna go.
but i was lucky enough to find it and she has that double door see through thingy and i saw the envelop there and it had the surname of her so i was like, 'this is defo it!' lol

and it was weird coming in coz i haven't been to her house in probs about 3 or 4 years. and the dog didn't hump me this time like the last time i went there so that was good lol

we went upstairs for awhile, was on the comp and shit and i was watching tv then her mum came in and gave us muffins =P and she knew about the dude liking me coz she heard us through audio! lol now a mum knows a secret lol

so after that, lisa wanted to go out and i wanted to see the cadets thing she goes to and its waaay small! but it is britwell so what more to expect lol

then after, we checked out the fun fair which didn't look bad, the only thing that caught my eye was the spinny cartwheel thingy. that was kool. =P

after that, we went to the shops, got some snacks, went back to the hill and talked and stuff. lisa told me about louise telling her i was bi which actually made me a bit angry coz louise was the first person i told and i actually trusted her at the time and she went off telling someone else and she actually thought i fancied her!
like i would fancy a fucking mouse!

so that goes to show, you can't trust anyone. and i will never put my fucking trust in her again. god knows who else she told!

but lisa told me something even more sickening about louise so i guess that makes it fair haha!

but yeh after our lil talk, we went to the playground and when we finally got there we didn't know what to do so we just went back to hers lol then went back on the comp, fooled around and she had to have dinner at 5.30 and we left there 5 mins before 5pm and walked together while we were walking her dog, bob.

and when we came to our final destination. the day came to end and it was over

well at least i thought it was when i was talking with emma online and when she found out i was from britwell (i actually thought she knew before lol) she wanted me to come with her to the fair and i was like, 'O_O!'

so heres another chance

buut wasn't even sure it was gonna happen

and it didn't

becuuuz lisa couldn't come coz of no money and she had to drop off a friend annnd probs wanted us 2 to go by ourselves anyway lol

and i couldn't go coz i had no money, mum and dad wouldn't lend me money, my dad and bro said it would be dangerous and coz i was back to my nervous stage lol

and she really wanted me to go with her which made me feel even more bad =[

but i didn't end up going and nor did she, she went to cadets instead like she was supposed to lol but yeh, sux really

3 missed opportunities to meet the person i really liked in one day

bad luck? *sigh* mebbe

eeeeeeek! =S

reason for the scary title is whats screaming inside my heart this very moment.

today i'm going to lisa's house in about 2 hours and 30 minutes and i'm shitting myself!

why?

well lets go to story mode, shall we?

lisa just invited me to go to hers yesterday morning and coz (like always) i have nothing else to do, i said yeah and i haven't been round hers in ages!

so we're all ready, just had to wait for the actual day til i read a bulletin on myspace from the person i like and said they had nothing to do on monday so here i was, stuck in between 2 choices. Shall i leave it and let this person find something else to do or be bored orrr invite this person with me and lisa and probs be even more bored!

and for some strange reason, i went with the second choice and the person said yes and of course, lisa was alrite with it alot lol

now here i am still shitting myself to this very moment of the thought of meeting this person for the very first time!

seriously, i really like this person and would do anything to be with this person! and thats what gonna make it so awkward!

i have bad experiences with meeting ppl for the first time.
espicially if its someone i like or chatted through msn alot.

like scott for example, we chatted a hella lot on msn and myspace before actually meeting up and when we finally did meet up, we hardly said hello to each other!

it took about 3 or 4 more meet-ups to actually get used to talking to each other but he wasn't still used to it but now i don't talk to him anymore. he was a moody cunt and i just can't be bothered.

but with this person its gonna be different coz i really like this person! scott was just a lil' something. not a huge humongus thing like this one!

i'm pretty used to meeting up with new ppl like with ramsey's mates, i never get nervous (well probably coz i don't fancy them) but argh! its gonna be soo different!

i'm not nervous of the fact that i'm meeting this person for the first time, i'm nervous at the fact that everything might not go so well and there'll be loads of awkward moments, i might even say something stupid or this person might even be as nervous as me!

and also, my friend hasn't exactly planned anything to do!
which is gonna be even more worse coz we're gonna be waddling around like penguins doing nothing! hopefully we'll think of something while we're there though.

but i must leave this for now, gonna take a shower and cool my head, try to relax and shit.

i'll tell ya later on how the day goes

thats if i'm not still not shitting myself from it all

what a fucking 2 days this was lol

well its 2:35am
i'll tell you the full reason why i'm up later but first i must tell you the crazy events that i've encountered today lol

friday was a disaster as i mentioned on the last blog, but then friday night was even more chaos!
seriously, drunk fags everywhere, first drunk emos, then chavs surrounded the outside of my house and then my mum asked me to go shopping for her to get some foood and in a way i coulda said no but i had nothing better to do so i was like, 'yeh sure' nothing bad could happen, heh? lol

well nothing bad happened, just the fact of being surrounded by drunks is a nightmare for me lol
i seriously hate being around drunk ppl
and even when i get drunk, i hate myself for it coz my friends might think i'm a total pisshead lol but seriously, tbh i can't handle my drink so i'm just out of it in a flash lol

but anywayz, moving on from that, it was fucking armageddon outside! you wouldn't believe the things i saw, fucking 40 yr olds where checkin these teenagers, ppl hanging from street lights, standing in the middle of the road, i even saw one chick outside my house passed out on the road!

i dunno what was up last nite but that was pretty fucked up lol

and it was a nag tryna get to sleep, i even left my tv on just to block out the noise which helped but kept waking me up which is due to making me sleep late.

i woke up at half 9am and went on the comp for awhile, got bored, watched tv, got bored even more so i went back to sleep =]

and as always, theres distractions, lil kids outside and my mum hoovering but lucky for me i had my mp3 player to block out the noise =D but after my mum finished hoovering i just couldn't sleep anymore lol so i woke up, had a shower and i'm alive!
then my mum asked me to go shopping with her and i had nothing better to do so might aswell (without the drunks this time =P)

we first went to kfc, got a 14pc. bucket and had to go back home coz we didn't want the food to get cold and even if we left til last it would be a nag bringing it back so we drove back home, ate our grub and then my bro asks if we could drop him off at slough so we waited for 20 mins or so for them to get ready, we went, dropped them off and blah then went straight to sainsbury's (still woulda been easier to go to tesco's though ¬_¬)

when we arrived and my mum parked, there was no other decent spot, well there was but my mum likes parking at the nearest point possible coz shes too lazy to walk far from the shop lol and the place she parked at was a mother and child space and she said i had to make baby noises and cry lol then i suggested getting the big trolley with the chair so i can sit on it lol (aww i miss those, they were uncomfortable but so nice lol)

but yeh, we done our shopping til my ma wanted to buy some snacks...at LIDLS! mrrr ¬_¬

and it took fricking ages just to get water for our water thingy (you get them at offices and that)
and some snacks but the cue was long apparently then we forget to get plasters for my bro coz of his nails (such a wuss lol) so my mum had to go back then i waited another 10 mins singing to good charlotte lol and she only got medicine for our holiday incase any of us get sick but she didn't get the plasters lol
...coz she couldn't find any ¬_¬

but shes planning on going to slough for another shopping next week so i'll be going to that coz i need some hair accessories (new hairbands, hairclips) seriously my hair is like hard to control now, i just really need to cut it when i'm at holiday. It'll be sad to see it go but a much more easier life lol i won't be cutting it all off though, just trim the fringe, so it doesn't reach my chest or something lol

but yeh, finished shopping! came home and my snack was nachos and pepsi =P mmmm
had that with some dip then was on the comp for awhile, went downstairs, and my bro and his gf were already there!
looking at photo albums!

O_o

...Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess it wasn't that bad coz the first album was just our holiday in america but the 2nd will not be mentioned and shall never be lol although there are pics of my mum with an afro and a mullet lol

she rules lol

anywayz, my bro bought some dvds which i already watched

The Ringer and Silent Hill<<<(watched that at bracknell with elwyne, michael and joaquin, it was sooo good but soo ghey coz they were holding each other and shit when they got scared lol) but yeh, we watched those in my room, had a bit of sweet and salty popcorn and they bought their alcohol but i didn't have any coz i still had my iron-bru lol also this was actually the first time i spoke to my bro's gf no actually convos, just a couple of sentences here and there made her laugh and yadda yadda yadda so all is good so far and it only took a couple of months to achieve that lol and this will be good for the holiday coz at some point i have to speak to her coz i'm stuck with her for a month! not to mention the long journey i have to face getting there! so i'm glad, it'll probably progress as time goes on but for now, its still a bit awkward, i haven't reached that bit when i'm totally confident, i still look down, i can't give her eye contact and that so i'm still trying lol but yeh, i just keep blabbering on about the subject, which makes my blogs long! so annoying lol but anywayz, after finishing watching the movies, havin some curry inbetween with pudding =P and i think it was just me and my dad that ate it, everyone else was stuffed but i was the one that ate more what with the nachos, kfc, popcorn, etc. i surprised myself for still eating all of it. i went on my comp afterwards, chatted to lisa for a bit, went on myspace and shit and this is where the weird shit happens i have this girl on my list that i've seen at the train station quite a couple of times, shes cute and when i found her on myspace, i added her straight away lol we didn't msg each other anything, just left things the way they were but coz i was bored and she was posting alot of bulletins i thought i might go on her profile and when i looked at her comments, i could not believe what i just saw

O_o

WTH?!??!

i was so shocked, i told lisa about it and she was like, they must like you lol

and she might've been right

i didn't know who the hell he was at first but when i messaged her she said it was one of my primary school mates!

paul lomas

i was like OMG! i didn't know it was him
he changed fuck loads!
looked well different from before
he turned emo, and i heard that from my other old school mate Alex but i didn't believe him coz hes a knob like that lol

but yeh moving on, i messaged her and he messaged me but i didn't notice til she told me lol

and looking back, she dropped a big massive hint!



O_o O_o!!!!!!!!!

when i read his msg, he said he sees me at the train station but i never noticed but i did see her lol

and look at this other comment coz i defo know its about me!



now i'm having heartattacks! lol

she actually watched me on monday! thats freaky aswell!

oh and also this girl goes to the same college as me and she sat in front of me aswell at the train once annnnnd whenever i never notice her, ramz sees her and just randomly blurts out 'hey thats that girl you think is cute!'

*SLAP*

¬_¬ thank u

but yeh, its obvious he likes me

but why?! lol i'm not much a good looking person lol

and this is my mate from primary school! its like weird!

and i like someone else =S

and this is what is leaving me in deep thought and keeping me up late

but i'm gonna end this now coz its nearly half 3

i'm gonna go and get more sleep and try not to think about

i hope =S

argh! just the thought of might seeing them after half-term is gonna scare the living shit outta me! well i guess thats the halloween kicking in lol

Worst day ever

i'm gonna push myself to do this blog

coz i spent nearly half an hour on doing one in myspace and when i finally wanted to post it, this is what i got:

This user's profile has been temporarily disabled for special maintenance.The profile will be available again shortly.Sorry for the inconvenience.
//

10/20/2006

i really wanna kill tom ¬_¬

anywayz, y'know the previous blog i done where i said i didn't have a bad luck last week when it was friday 13th?

well i think that bad luck has returned and is kicking my ass at this certain moment.

I shall explain...

Coz i my class didn't start til 10.30am and ramz and elwyne didn't wanna meet up, i decided to take the train at a later time.

Worst decision...

it meant i had to walk to the trainstation! So i finished getting ready, only having 40 mins to get there but thanx to my mum taking long to give me my pocket money, it changed to half an hour so i was hauling my ass!

not was it bad enough walking there but in the rain was the worst. Cause i wasted time doing my hair and coz of the rain it faded the gel away making it look like monkeys just took over my hair!

when i finally got there, 20 mins before the train was gonna take off, i was relieved and ready to get my ticket. Til i came in and theres this other random worker there and he asked if he could help...lemme put this in convo sense

dude: may i help u?
me: yeh i'm just gonna get a ticket here *points to pay desk*
dude: no just tell me what u want
me: err ok...um i need a return ticket to reading
dude: and how old are u?
*this is the part where i wanted to lie to get a cheaper ticket*
me: 15
dude. Date of birth?
me: 18/04/89..err i mean 91
dude: 89?
me: 91 sorry
dude: do you have any id?
me: no
dude: do you have a number i can contact for someone to bring evidence of your age?
me: what?! i just want my ticket!
dude: but i need proof of ur age
me: ok fine! *sigh* i'm 16
dude: right, that'd be £5.40
me: O_o

half of my pocket money was gone
and i was planning on buying new batteries with lunch aswell coz my ma didn't shop yet
i only got a chance to get a packet of crisps and a bottle of pepsi max
and that was for breakfast =[
i have no lunch and and i'm hungry as hell
i was lucky enough to get batteries for £3 but i only got 20p left now thanx to that bastard!

last time i'm gonna take the train late ¬_¬

next, my train stopped for 10 mins while it was 5 mins away from reading, not bad luck, but just retardedness

so yeh. money was the 1st thing i needed, i was so hungry, my tummy never stopped rumbling!

all i had to eat was chewing gum! O_o yum...?

anywayz, after i finished my class, i realized there are quite a few rude ppl in my class, like i got the task paper out of my back and was using it til one of my classmates just snatched it off me, and i was like, 'i'm using that, its mine!' and she was like, 'nah!' didn't even listen to the teacher, she just didn't care. If its on my desk, then its mine. Not my fault she can't look after stuff or fill up her bag with make-up and wigs!

geeez, bring up a kid with manners, ffs!

didn't care anyway, my other good mate was kind enough to lend me his so nehh, fucking scumbags lol

anywayz, the day was finished, ticket didn't work and blah.

bought my 10p crisps lol made some chips, etc

can't be bothered to go on, but right now, theres fucking drunk emos taken over britwell and its fucking scary

and its not halloween yet =S


anywayz, right now is a good time for this song


Get music codes at Bolt.

Six A.M.
The clock is ringing
I need to spend an hour snoozing
'Cuz I don't think I'm gonna make it

I punch in
I'm still sleeping
Watch the clock,
But it's not moving
'Cuz every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
And I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever
And tomorrow won't be better
It's history repeating(on and on)
Summer plans are gone forever
I traded them in for dishpan water
And every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Whoa - oh
Every day is the worst day ever

It's so long
I can't go on
It's so long
I can't go on

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Whoa - oh
Every day is the worst day ever

Whoa wo-oh whoa wo-oh whoa
Wo-oh whoa wo-oh whoa whoa wo-oh
The worst day ever
Whoa wo-oh

Stay

If only I could see your face one last time
And take me to that place that makes me alive
I want you to take me to a place
So much space to unwind
I wanna let you know I feel deep inside
And see the smile that's hidden in your eyes

I wanna stay with you
Don't ever leave
I need you here
Don't go

I'm sick and tired of missing you
And I hate, just wasting a second without you
And I'm lying here thinking
Will this life have a meaning
If I, don't have you at all

There's love at a special place
I wanna take you there
But I don't know if you'll stay

My Emo Hairstyle Called Larry

Will everyone please stop picking on me
I'm just a fringe on a person called Anne-Marie
Don't compare me to your fro's and your cheese
I'm just a plan ol' emo fringe

So brush me sideways
Til' I fall into place
I'm an half an hour procession

I'm not like my owner
That sits and cries in a corner
Her wrists don't bleed
Only her nose!!!

I never smile
I always cry
Don't wanna live
I wanna die
Cutting myself is the best suicide
Err...why you wanna do that?
'Cause I'm emooooooooooooooooooooo! Yeah!

Mrrr

Hey steph, you going to school today?
Mrrr
Hey steph, you wanna go to the mall?
Mrrr
STEPH! You wanna go out with mr thompson?
Mrrrrrrrrrrr
...mrr?

It's not a word in the dictionary
It's just a part of steph's vocabulary
And if she ever did get angry
I think mrrr would be the best word to use

LEO!
Mrr!
Green wing!
Mrr!
Crimewatch!
Mrrr!
World's wildest police chases!
Mrrr!

Broken

I'm just like a jigsaw puzzle
So idle and so fragile
I wanna be there for you
If I wasn't so unglued

If I had the chance, I'd take it
But I don't so I'll forsake it

'Cause I'm broken, I feel it in my heart
And I'm hoping, for my life to drift apart
I'm alone, I'm so insecure
I'm cold and I can't take anymore

Would you leave me alone like this
A cold stare or an ounce of bliss
Making me feel I'm accused
When there was nothing wrong I had to do

Your life
Is not
Anything special

Cilit Bang Bang Bang!

Oh no! more dust
So much fuss to clean this up
Oh no! more limescale
With this cillit bang
We will prevail!
Go!

This is so annoying
The ground dirt is so appalling
This is such a travesty
Oh! Barry Scott, will you please help me?

Barry! Barry! He's our man!
If he can't do it, Cillit Bang can!

My pennies are so dirty
Dip it in cillit bang and Bang! it's clean
Now I can be happy
To buy 1p sweets!

This is so annoing
Flash ain't even working
This is such a travesty
Oh Barry Scott! Please help me!

Barry! Barry! He's our man!
If he can't do it, Cillit Bang can!
Yeah! Go!

Barry! Barry! Where have you done?
Is it me or is the dirt already gone?
But it's ok
'Cause I already found a Cillit Bang of my own!

Barry! Barry! He's our man!
If he can't do it, Cillit Bang can!

Yay! For Cillit Bang!

Alone

I take one breath
With this I have nothing left
And I feel the pain
With this I have no strength to restrain
Myself
Your hand
I cling onto when there's nothing else
I don't know
Where to go
There's no direction I rely on

I wake
From this daze
Will you take the pain away from me?
Take the pain away to set me free

I'm all alone
So cold
Send me away to my home
To grow old
To die alone

Nothing would be much better than that

I'm so cold
So cold
I'll die alone
Would you let me die alone?
Nothing would be much better

Phase

Look inside my soul
Is my soul so empty
Words cut right through me
Is there something you know
Lying straight to my face
I can't believe it's another phase

Something so wrong that it can't be replaced
Something so lost that it can't be retraced

Will you tell me the question
'Cause I can't find the answer
So disgraced
It's such a disaster
You don't feel the same
Your feelings erased

Something so wrong that it can't be replaced
Something so lost that it can't be traced

So wrong, so gone
So lost and forgotten

Days

Take my life
Take my heart
Take the pieces that have been falling apart
I wanna make what's best of my time
And live each day without live a lie

I'm frustrated, complicated
Need to be stimulated
Motivated for the next day
Can't face the pain
Living life in agony
Each ounce of blood equals no sympathy

I live those days, no matter how long they go
I live each day like there's no tomorrow
I wanna go to a place for better days

Everything will burn, this life is turned
To a different direction, it is absurd
One day, one mind, one body, one soul
My heart just can't take anymore from this

Lost

Do I like you?
Do I hate you?
I can't decide
'Cause my mind is making different decisions
On of I can't have you at all
I know I can't
But I'm always here when you call
Then I fall

To the void, I'm lost again
I never ever want this to end
'Til the end

'Cause you're all that I need to survive
And you're everything that keeps me alive
I don't know where I would rather be
Here alone or spending time with you
I want to believe

Where is my mind
Where is my heart?
I can't find
where is your love?
Where's your hand that holds in mine?
If I fall I'll laugh about it
I feel no pain when I'm with you
And it's true
If I bleed, I won't cry about it
'Cause I'm only bleeding for you
I do

To the void, I'm lost again
When this ends, will we still be friends?
But I don't want this to end

My heart still beats for you
My lungs still breathes for you
Til' the end

'Cause you're all that i need to survive
And you're everything that keeps me alive
I don't know where I would rather be
Here alone or spending time with you for eternity
I want to believe

Hurry up...and just drop dead!

'You should...just go...drop dead'
'Why?'
'Cause...YOU SMELL!'

Why don't you just talk about it
Search it in the libary and read about it
I don't care
You're so fucked up and selfish
Living your life in a pool of shit
And you should know that

I don't like you
I just want to
Live
Stop being such an immature bitch
That you should be thinking
That life has a reason
To think
That no one likes you
Hurry up and just drop dead!

Who will be the next victim
A dude or maybe a chicken
Another failure (try again later)
Was it luck or just a good fuck?
How many guys have you sucked...in the past 5 minutes?!?

Many concerns of what happened that night?
Was it a one-night-stand or did you hold his hand and told him you loved him
Another tomorrow, another blow
How much time do you have left to go
Before this has reached it's end

May I inform you that...
I don't like you
I just want to live
Stop being such an immature bitch
That you should be thinking
That life has no reason
To think, that no one likes you
Hurry up and just drop dead!

Down

Selfish lies are spreading so fast
Too much drama keeps coming back
Does it have to be like this?
Another victim of silence
Another victim of violence
Why do the eyes keep staring at me?

Do you have to bring me down?
Turn my life around
Say stuff when I'm not around
Why do you always bring me down?

Lame accuses to say what you feel
Your words are wounds that never seem to heal
Do you have to be like this?
Another victim of violence
Why can't you just leave?

Down...
Down...
Down...