More to the eye than pie

another one of those random moods...

2009-07-04T18:06:00.000-07:00

well its been long since ive done this...
too much has happened since ive last blogged but i rather not talk about it now since its gonna take ages so ill leave it for another time
atm i feel like i really need someone here tbh
someone i can love
i have a gf at the moment but i hardly see her since shes so far away
i might get to see her soon but it wont be for awhile and idk whether ill look forward to it or not
its just been quite awhile since ive got imitamate with someone and just need someone to...y'know lol
it sounds quite sad but i cant help it. im alrite with my gf but im not proper in love with her
i wanna be mesmerized by someone, someone i can be fully in love with.
i love my gf to bits but this is just one of those weird feelings.
long distance relationships can do this to ppl and i would know since ive been in plenty of them.
i woke up this morning, proper hateing my gf for some reason. it was mainly coz of the fact how she never really text me much coz she didnt wanna waste her 500 texts so soon but then i had 100 left so i dont see why shes worrying. but then again when she did have loads of texts she would text me non-stop and always get worried and i used to get annoyed by it so it goes both ways really. idk...im having seconds thoughts about this and i think its because i got other shit going on aswell which could be affecting this whole situation.
im gonna need fags and booze to get through this one...

night

another blog to do whilst being very very bored...

2008-07-22T15:09:00.000-07:00

Tuesday 22nd July 2008 Time: 10.40pm

I rarely do these anymore. Mainly coz i never seem bothered to do it. But I'm doing it today coz im sooooooooo fucking bored. Like there is no one to chat to, no sites I can go on since I've been on them 5 times in a row! I've been so bored tht i've slept twice hoping tht it could pass the time but it didnt. I'm not even in the mood to play my guitar. just anything in general. not even tv can satisfy my mood. Not only has boredom infected my skull but its stress aswell. And the more stressed I am the more I smoke. Which I don't like coz I don't wanna be a chain smoker. But i cant help it. I'm having relationship issues. Well idk if i should call it tht but its more like trying to avoid my gf as much as possible. To be honest, i dont even want to consider her as my gf anymore. I've put with her for 2 months now and its been hell. It wasn't really a good idea hooking up with her during my exams either since i couldn't concentrate properly.
I had alot of problems with tht girl honestly. The fact tht i had to spend alot of money just to see tht chick and spend time with her which was a complete waste! Honestly...going on a date with her was no different than hanging out with a friend. The fact tht she wasn't completely open about her sexuality made it difficult to be with her in public. I couldnt hold her hand in public, i couldnt kiss her in public. even in the damn cinema she didnt wanna kiss! It was stupid! I sometimes questioned myself, are we even a couple? at times, i had to understand coz i wasnt completely open either but im an affectionate person and i like to show someone how much i care about them from time to time. But resisting tht urge makes it hard to show ur feelings and then leads you to stay tht way which is the state im in now.
Another problem was that she was majorly immature. shes 2 years younger than me and acts like a fucking 6 year old. Honest to god, she'd go dramatic over the smallest things. even my friends agree. I know 10 year olds tht are more mature than her and i tried to be patient with her, actually hoping she'd grow up a bit but i had enough of it and decided not to waste my time.
Also, she was majorly horny. Idk when this girl doesnt think about sex. But tbh who doesnt? Its like a number 1 priority for ppl which is sad tbh. Of course I don't mind sex but every bloody second of the day is just sad. Also my past relationships ive had with ppl were also like tht so it really pissed me off tht this girl wasnt any different. Everytime i'd speak to her on the fone she'd mention the word 'pussy' all the fucking time and there'd be times when id just laugh it off and then there'd be times where id just be silent and ignore it. Which reminds me, our fone conversations were annoying aswell. She'd sing the first line of the chorus to tht amerie song and it'd drive me up the fucking wall! She'd be like 'but this is ur song' and id just be wanting to knife her throat.
I guess the last thing i should mention is tht she has over 1000 contacts on msn who are mostly dudes. And when i was round her house they even tried flirting with her so tht kinda made me curious. Idk how the fuck she managed to get 2 boyfriends with a 1000 contacts on msn. And then she goes pissy to me when i talk to a girl about us. lol it makes me laugh (hence the 'lol').
I can go on all day on wht pisses me off about this girl but I don't wanna break my fingers from typing tht much. Basically i had enough and i aint gonna fucking speak to her again. she was a waste of my time and i regret even being with her. I'm ignoring all her fone calls and everything. Tht bitch doesnt ever deserve a word from me.
So thts one thing thts been stressing me out alot. Another is being stuck in this bloody house everyday for the whole fucking summer! Its not even fucking august yet and its driving me insane! I wanna go out more often but its like a big massive issue for my mum coz she likes keeping me here for some stupid reason and wht does she need me for??? I aint exactly doing anything. This is the reason why i need a job. to get out the house as much as i possibly can. But no success there. I've already applied to 3 jobs since i finished college (i know it aint much but its hard finding a job tht fits ur criteria) and nothing. Still waiting on replies which i prolly might not even get.
Ha on a side note my (now) ex just called. Its good having ur fone on silent. since i cant block a specific persons calls thts my only option. She'll give up eventually. I know she will. I'm not exactly hard to get over lol
Oo also I've been wathcing alot of lesbian stuff. (Mainly movies not porn) Its a good thing lol But bad in a way coz it makes me want a girlfriend even more haha. But also good coz it makes me get over sammi more X)
Anyways now tht im getting over this chick. I'm on a search to find a new one. Well...id doubt id ever find one thts better than sammi but w/e. I think its my number 1 priority atm. That and getting a job lol
Right...i think i babbled on for enough. I need a smoke aswell. It was nice letting things out. I might do this more often considering ill most likely be bored in the very near future.

Lates.

philippines

2008-03-21T05:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday 15th March 2008 11:17pm

so a week has passed since i left philippines. I cant believe its actually been a week now. i still remember it like yesterday.. its kinda weird. idk wht to feel about it. in a way im happy coz im not bored tht much and the fact i got so pissed with certain things and ppl there. but in another way im sad coz i miss my cousins alot and i miss spending time with them. and i realised tht their the only ppl i can talk to about things unlike friends where they only talk about themselves. *sigh* its hard. even after a week im still thinking about them. idk how long it'll take to get my mind off it but it definitely will take awhile. its kinda weird how before i went to philippines i never bothered to come online for mikki and margiebel. the conversations became pointless after awhile and i didnt wanna bother. but now im staying on yahoo as much as i can just to see if they'll be online and im always checking my friendster waiting for a message or a testimonial...god i hope i get over this soon. its tearing me apart thinking about it. its like i wanna do as much as i can just to bring them here. I think it'd be the best thing in the world to have them here but i know it'll take years for tht time to come. but if it does....ill be more happier than i am now...

MORE COMMENT SHIT

2008-01-23T18:03:00.001-08:00

but u make it look sexy...damn..u look..ill tell ya l8ter.
haha so does my mom lol
hey man whts up i just got back from holiday florida wht u been up to man?? hit me back.
Damn women tight playlist i like all them songs love the site:)
yo wa sup? merry christmas so yea ill ttyl.
sup? thnx for the pic comment.
HAHAHA WHO U MARRIDE TO???
Thnx for the comments sexy ttyl peace.
hey u...i just got back home like 40 minutes ago lol so...whts up?? i missed ya
HEY BADASS PROFILE SONG BTW;)
yea....iv changed a lil bit well im on yahoo so hit me up there babe peace&love
Brian.
HEY U GOT NO TOP ON:p
hey this was back around when me and u first started chatting on myspace lol
lol rest is good.

i cant get no rest though:P insomnia sux balls
hey happy x mas eve srry i cant get u anything.....yet;) ttyl.
hey jessie merry christmas!!:)
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c373/superslipknotgod/x%20mas/elf.gif
jc gonna be going to tampa tomarow...what u doin tomarow?
wa sup woman ima call u at bout 8-830 ttyl peace.
I love you too babygirl, you're my one and only!
Haha, I love you babe!
Hey Babe, just lettin you know I love you and that I'm waitin for you. I know you won't get this until you got ur internet bck with basic, but I'm just lettin you know I'm thinkin about you when you're gone.
Hey Babe, Happy Birthday!

These Feelings

2008-01-11T01:09:00.001-08:00

I never wanted to feel this way

I'm thinking about you everyday

But I'm trying to pull myself away

from you

It seems like this more than just a crush

I try so hard but i soon give up

I'm just so hooked onto you

But i never wanted to........

Have these feelings

They're so hard to get through

All these feelings

Make it hard to let myself go from you

I knew that you liked someone else

But that never stopped me, it never did

I should've convinced myself

this aint so worth it after all

Why do i still give myself false hope

If love was money then i'd be broke

But im just so hooked onto you

and i never wanted to......

Have these feelings

They're so hard to get through

All these feelings

Make it hard to let myself go from you

Have these feelings

They're so hard to get through

All these feelings

Make it hard to let myself go from you

I never wanted to feel this way

But you're making it harder everyday

Im trying to pull myself away

Pulling myself away.........

Month without no internet (blog 13)

2008-01-11T01:08:00.002-08:00

Blog 13 Date: Monday 7th January 2008 Time: 7:15am

So today is finally the big day.....well not tht big, im just going to college lol But tht means tht my christmas holiday is finally over. *sigh* its been a tough one...but i managed to get through it. ahh i woke up too early today. I woke up at 6.30am and my train doesnt leave til 8.48am. But its a monday today and its guaranteed to be busy annnd im guessing theres gonna be a big ass line at the ticket office so im being extra careful lol But i shoulda woke up at 7am coz otherwise i wouldnt be wasting my time doing this lol I actually want this day to skip ahead already coz im looking forward to tuesday.....coz im finally seeing jodie X) she has mondays off so i wont see her today. I dnt even know if ill see ramz today! Ah well, ill just forget it and go along with it. I just hope today aint too much of a bitch.....or at least...this year aint too much of a bitch lol Anyways, i realised something about jodie 2 days ago and it hasnt gotten out of my head since. She invited me to this site she goes onto called Crunchyroll and i went on her profile to look at the comments and this one dude was asking her if shes got a boyfriend or likes anyone and she said she didnt but she liked one of her mates....who was a dude. So thts kinda struck me out a bit, and this time im definitely sure its a dude coz i know she has quite a few guy mates and when i see her hang out with them she tends to kinda act differently towards them or idk its hard to explain but from wht i know she definitely likes someone and it aint me but for some reason i still cant get over her. its like with Anne for example (girl from college i used to like, now one of ramz mates) i liked her despite her liking the drummer from My Chemical romance....now thts kinda different because hes a dude in a well known band and jodie likes someone who she "actually" knows and its one of her mates. So i dont think there will ever be something. But i just cant get over her! Its annoying! Its gonna take awhile i think like most girls i fancied but i think this one will take awhile considering its someone i actually know and talk to. *sigh* its gonna be tough thts all ill say.

Oo i almost forget im getting the internet bck on thursday!! Hopefully..........but apparently we're gonna get a new livebox and HOPEFULLY it'll be sorted by then but i still feel like its a long way away. But ill try to manage. I dnt think ill be using my bros laptop now tht im going bck to college. Coz ill be using the computers there but there wont be much to do. Like for example, last night, i was using the laptop....i went on every site i usually go on for a couple of hours and jodie stopped talking to me on crunchyroll and i just got bored! I was seriously trying to think of something to do but i couldnt! And because i knew it was gonna be my last time using the laptop fully i spent the remaining time i had left trying to get guitar tabs to play to while i wait for the livebox to arrive. But i picked some hard tabs to understand ¬_¬ But anyways, ill just hope there is something to do on the computers today coz i have a feeling ramz wont be in today so ill need to use the computers. and i gotta spare time coz i finish at 3.15 and thts when all the schoolkids rush in at the station.

Right, i think thts enough blogging for today. If im in the mood and not tht tired then maybe ill blog when i come bck home. And i need to get ready for college so laters!

Month without no internet (blog 12)

2008-01-11T01:08:00.001-08:00

Blog 12 Date: Sunday 6th January 2008 Time: 1:39pm

So it's the last day of my holiday. It felt like this holiday was so long to get through and i think the reason why is coz i had no internet and i realised how slow time goes by when im not using it. Coz usually when i do use it time goes by like really fast coz theres like so much to do tht u never really bother on looking at the time. But moving tht aside ill talk about today. Chris is at caz's at the mo (thank god) but he'll be bck today soon so i wouldnt celebrate too long. alan went to work with my dad and i was here with my mum. I got up at 8am and realised alan and my dad went to work so i quickly went for the laptop! But wht i wasnt expecting was tht the internet got disconnected. Now im not an expert on laptops but from wht i know with wht happened to it 'the wireless switch wasnt on' according to the laptop. and i didnt even know how to turn tht switch bck on...yet alone if there was one! So here i was, panicking away, trying to fix it and i seriously tried everything! I tried using our old usb adsl modem and tht didnt work, then i used alan's bluetooth usb and tht didnt work. After over half an hour trying, i gave up. And went bck to sleep and luckily i did coz its my last day and all and i need all the sleep i can get for tomorrow! So i slept for another 3 hours, tried again and didnt work and went bck to sleep again but not for long coz i couldnt lol and i got a text from jodie wanting to chat coz she was bored at work. I started to worry for a bit on how i was gonna text her bck because my dad wasnt home and his fone wasn’t there and i didnt have any cred left on my fone....well except for one text but im saving it if there is no other option lol but luckily i went downstairs and came across my mums fone which surprinsingly had credit! yay! so i text her bck and after like 2 or 3 texts she stopped and i got sad:( lol ahh ill get over it. Im seeing her on tuesday anyway....maybe lol Coz she asked me when ill be at college and she hasnt text bck yet so i dnt know whts gonna happen. Idk if im meeting up with rob on tuesday coz now tht the train times have changed im not sure wht time he gets the train so its all confusing for me at the moment but ill just forget about it and just think about tomorrow. Also, ramz, idk if hes bck from bahrain yet! He said he'll be bck before college starts or i think he mite miss 1 or 2 days idk. I would text him but i know tht bumflum wont text bck. Wahey! jodie finally text me bck!! But problem is shes still at work so its taking her quite long to text bck. And the internet on the laptop is working! But im waiting for my bro to go and my mum to finish looking at flights on there. Hmmm i feel like i wanted to talk about something else but i guess thts it. Im not really looking forward to college tomorrow but ill try to make the most of my last month before i go to philippines. Anyways, ill blog later. Peace.

Month without no internet (blog 11)

2008-01-11T01:07:00.004-08:00

Blog 11 Date: Friday 4th January 2008 Time: 9:19pm

So its another boring friday night for me again. and prolly weekend aswell since my lazy fuckhead of a bro decided to sleep in for the night. Im really fed up of him being here tbh. But i have to put up with it coz he pays for most things in the house but i think we would be doing perfectly fine without him, we were before so wht differeance does it make if he left? You can prolly tell tht im still pissed off with him for last night. I still havent gotten over it and i dnt think i will. Im also pissed off with my dad coz he took my heater away. He gets so pissed off if a light is left on or just basically anything thts electrical is left on. But when its the tv.......it isnt a problem.......well his tv tht is, when its someone elses like mine for example he switches it off. I can understand why hes like tht coz he pays for the electricity bills but seriously, if its winter it would make sense why i need my heater. But my dad is too thick in the head to understand so ill just leave him to be a dumbass.

Another thing tht was bothering me was these stupid neighbours i have! I think they're doing all this construction shit........again! Ive been hearing drills, hammers, yesterday i heard the most annoying aggravating sound ever! I couldnt stand it! luckily i was on the laptop and i managed to put on some music to block it out and i was remaining calm about the whole thing but it still pissed me off.

Even right now, this stupid bimbo daughter they have keeps making loud noises and they're noises tht u wouldnt expect to make a noise. Like, putting down a cup/glass (when she does it its as loud as u may think), going through her wardrobe (tht noise the hangers make when u move them on tht steel pole), the list can go on. Even right now, i can still hear her banging away on the wall. Idk if its just me or shes a right spaz to be doing shit like tht. another annoying sound is their bloody hoovering! They hoover more than my mum!! Its like a competition on who can hoover the most! ARGH!!! honestly, i wish those fuckheads would move out already. I had enough of them. Out of all the neighbours i had i never knew any as annoying as them. I would even have matthew and his family back tbh (they were old neighbours).

Well thts tht off my bck, i guess another thing thts bringing me down is tht i havent spoken to jodie for 2 days. its weird, i actually do like talking to her but if she doesnt want to speak to me then its koo. I would send her a msg but i hate making the first move. Thts why im not in a relationship lol

GOD! this sucks!! My lazy tithead bro is gonna be stuck here sleeping away and when my other bro leaves the house hes still gonna be here and i wont be able to use the laptop!! First its the tv thing, now its this! Idk how many more ways hes gonna piss me off like this. I was hoping to get an alright weekend without him but now its gonna be a very long 2 days if hes here. Fucking prick. Cant even stick to his bloody plans! Hes such a gay fag, not going out to have fun so he can sleep! Honestly, how sad?! God hes just like elwyne. and i thought i had no life.

anyways, i guess im just gonna go watch tv since its the only thing i can do since my retarded brothers are here. Later.

Month without no internet (blog 10)

2008-01-11T01:07:00.003-08:00

Blog 10 Date: Thursday 3rd January 2008 Time: 11:45pm

How annoying is this? My mum's friend Annie (aka alan's friends mum) comes at our house for a sleepover. Yeah....its kinda weird....i mean....like no offence but arent they a bit old for a sleepover?? lol jk! Annie actually wanted a place to stay at coz her house was broken into and my mum just happened to bump into her at slough and you all know wht happens from there. Plans changed and now my mum is sleeping over at hers. So thts my mum gone for the night. My dad decided to sleep upstairs where my bro chris usually sleeps and alan stays where hes at now its just chris. and hes the main part of this blog tonight. Soon after my mum left i quickly went downstairs to watch tv. And trust me, the reason why i rushed so quickly is coz i never get to have time to myself to watch the tv downstairs anymore. Well, tv is shit these days but being stuck in my room with a shitty small ass tv with only 5 channels compared to a plasma widescreen sky tv downstairs....who can argue? And theres actually a good reason why i rushed. There was a Bam Margera marathon happening on 3 effing channels! They were showing all episodes of Viva La Bam, all the episodes of Bams Unholy Union and alll the episodes of Jackass....in one night. I dont think there was ever a time when tht happened since ive been watching tv. I felt like it was one of the best nights of my life. I was sitting happily, drinking some pepsi, eating some chocolate, etc. Just basically enjoying myself. No one came downstairs. The lights were off and everything. It felt like a really good night in and i never have tht these days. my nights these days are being stuck in my room being bored off my ass watching shitty tv, playing guitar and using the internet every few times a day. Seriously, if i had the internet right now i wouldnt be so pissed but since i dnt i am. and ill tell you why. An hour later (yes just an hour!) chris comes downstairs and i thought he was just getting something to eat.....but no....he came down with a blanket and a pillow. And then i thought....'oh dear....' He told me to get out coz he was sleeping downstairs for the night........I think tht was one of the things i was dreading for the whole night. I couldnt believe wht i was hearing, this bam marathon was gonna go on til 4.30am and i was willing to stay up til then to watch it. But i didnt even get half way. as soon as he told me, i asked why cant u sleep in YOUR room and he made some shitty excuse saying tht alan was gonna stay up all night with the laptop. Like a laptop can make so much noise. Even he listens to music he can still use ear phones and i dnt think its tht loud for fucks sake! But anyways, moving on....he stormed upstairs for a bit to do god knows wht, then he came bck down on one of his tantrums saying some shit which i ignored then he went bck up, had a fag, then came bck down and he asked me 'when are you gonna finish here?' and i said 'idk' and then he blabbered on about getting up early for work and then thts when i just got fed up of his whining and just went upstairs. I got so pissed off i just didnt wanna start anything, i was just too pissed off to do anything which doesnt really make sense coz usually when ppl get pissed off they result into anger and violence...but me....i just let it go but im just really pissed off with him right now. i know its not a big of the deal to some ppl but for me to have a quiet night in and watching one of my favourite programs and it being ruined by my idiotic brother is prolly a sister's worst nightmare. I know tht fuckhead is down there now watching tv and he aint gonna fucking sleep til god knows when but hes got work in like 5 hours from now and thts his own fucking fault coz hes the one tht said he wanted to get up early so he can come bck early which is also annoying coz by the time alan finally leaves they'll be here! And i wont even use the laptop tht long. ill prolly end up being bck to normal once i sleep it off. but tonight....i wasnt even planning on sleeping. i just wanted to stay up watching my favourite program. but instead....im stuck here typing this. its times like this tht make u wish u were an only born.

Month without no internet (blog 9)

2008-01-11T01:07:00.001-08:00

Blog 9 Date: Thursday 3rd January 2008 Time: 10:49am

Ok i got the laptop. It was downstairs on the dining table. Only problem is.........i need the adapter. I tried turning it on but it wont soooooooo now i gotta wait for chris to leave or any opening moment to get the adapter. I seriously could try to go in there now and take it but im still worried tht chris will know tht i went in there. And i think the only reason why they're not going yet is coz my dad aint here and i think hes supposed to go with them. So idk whts happening but i really need to get tht adapter coz god knows how long im gonna wait. And guess wht....even my mum is sleeping!! For christ sake if i knew they were gonna sleep i woulda been sleeping hours ago!! Right im gonna try to get the adapter. I may get caught but it has to be done. ill blog later....prolly soon since this is another 2nd blog of the day.......and my tea is getting cold. so later.

Month without no internet (blog 8)

2008-01-11T01:06:00.001-08:00

Blog 8 Date: Thursday 3rd January 2008 Time: 10:28am

It's my favourite cousin's b-day today. And all i wanna do is greet her. But at the moment i cant. Coz my lazy ass brother is still in bed and god knows wht my mum and dad are doing (not in tht way of course). Basically i wanna use the laptop! And i cant if chris is still here. Apparently they're supposed to go to this meeting about this whole court crap chris is going through and my mum tried to wake up chris just over an hour ago and tht lazy fuck is still in bed! Alan left ages ago its just tht prick i want outta the house already!! I coulda got the laptop already but everytime i take a step into his room all of a sudden he wakes up! *sigh* idk how much longer i have to wait for this fuckhead to go already. I dnt even know if they're going at all! God by the time they leave alan will be bck! ARGH!! this is pissing me off! I just wanna use the laptop already!!!!!!!!!!!

Month without no internet (blog 7)

2008-01-11T01:05:00.002-08:00

Blog 7 Date: Wednesday 2nd January 2008 Time: 4:41pm

Well everything is back to normal i guess. My mum talked to me about the whole not talking situation and we're gonna get bck to talking again hopefully. and i got some...good/bad news.......im going bck to philippines next month! How gay! i mean...i should be happy seeing my cousins again and everything but ahh idk i always have a feeling tht im not gonna enjoy it and i never do. the more times we go there the more boring it is and annoying. But i guess the good thing is i get to see my cat Mikey!! Yaaaay! but the downers are seeing my effed up family (not all of em of course) and just being bored most of the time. I think we're there for 2 weeks. Im leaving 7th february at a time when i have college!! So ill be missing alot of work which sucks coz i hate being behind on things and its so hard to catch up. But im gonna talk to my form tutor about it and gonna try to see if she can sort some work out for me to do while im away. Its gonna suck but *sigh* i have to do it. Oh yeah i forgot about the internet thing. yeah........still no internet!!!! my bro wants a new internet box coz he broke the last one (him and his temper.....he gets it from my mum ¬_¬) so i still dunno when i can have my internet bck but im really hoping soon. for now, i have to keep using my bros laptop when they're away which sucks coz usually i dnt have enough time to use it and its hard to make it look like i wasnt using it coz he keeps leaving it in random places!! Theres still 5 more days til college...*sigh* wht a bummer. Well the good thing about going to college is tht im not as bored as much at home than there and i get to hang out with my mates. The bad thing is waking so early in the fucking morning to catch the train.......oh dnt get me started on the train! its one of the most annoying public transports ever!! there are so many bad things i can label about using the train but the main things are: ppl look at you throughout the whole train journey, the seats fill up easily and random smelly ppl will sit next to you giving you less room to move....or breathe! ppl like schoolkids or chavs or just basic loud ppl make the trainride more annoying than it already is (but thts where my mp3 player comes in handy:P) the price of the tickets, waiting in line early in the morning in the ticket office!, whenever u dnt want the train to be delayed it will anyway and whenever u do it wont. And i also hate the fact tht the south western trains have more comfy seats and leg room than first great western (the train i take)! its bollocks!!

but all in all i've had a pretty good day, i got to use the internet, i spoke to jodie:) but theres still alot of things on the internet i need to do so i hope nothing goes wrong tomorrow. my dad and chris are taking a day off tomorrow to sort out this court thing chris has and hopefully alan is going to work. So hopefully i have the house to myself and hooooooooopefully alan wont take the laptop with him again. Ill just hope for the best *fingers crossed*!

anyways i think thts enough blogging for me since its already my 2nd blog of the day. Im gonna go play games now so ill blog later! peace.

Month without no internet (blog 6)

2008-01-11T01:05:00.001-08:00

Blog 6 Date: Wednesday 2nd January 2008 Time: 12:49pm

How fucking gay is my brother (alan)!? The day my bro and my dad go bck to work, he takes the fucking laptop with him!!!!!!! I mean....how fucking retarded of him to bring his own laptop with him to work?! I coulda been using the laptop 2 hours ago but tht fucking fat head is sad enough to bring the fucking laptop with him and god knows if he'll bring it with him tomorrow!! It's like he cant leave without it..................ok.....something different just happened now. while i was getting something to eat my bro came bck and bought the laptop and left it here and i asked my mum if i can use it and i can and im using it right now!! :D So im happy now and im gonna try to make the most of it so i gotta stop doing this blog now. i was actually gonna watch my bros dvds but *sigh* im happy i got this laptop with me now. I cant use it for long apparently but ahhh idk ill just go use it now. ill blog later :)

Month without no internet (blog 5)

2008-01-11T01:04:00.002-08:00

Blog 5 Date: Tuesday 1st January 2008 (again!) Time: 8:12pm

I can't believe this is my 3rd blog today! God i've been so bored! And i actually managed to fall asleep at like.....half 10am! But only for.....4 hours and i got right back up again! It's weird, i was up til 10am! I think thts the latest i've ever stayed up before. Its crazy! Anyways, im doing this blog right now because im resisting temptation on using the internet. My bro (chris) is sleeping downstairs and my other bro (alan) drove off somewhere and i have no idea when he'll be bck but hes been gone for awhile now and im sooooooooooooooo tempted into using their laptop but im afraid tht chris might wake up and come upstairs! so far he hasnt woken and i coulda been using the internet by now but im too afraid to use it coz im afraid of getting caught again! ahh omg this is so hard!! I've actually been online today...twice! But it wasnt for long coz alan kept coming bck then all of a sudden chris shows up again now im bored off my ass again!! I was really hoping tht they'd be going bck to work this week but i guess they got the same time off as me. ARGH!! this is annoying! Ahh im just gonna try to resist it and watch the Fantastic Four on tv. *sigh* its hard being addicted to something. Anyways, ill blog later. Peace.

Month without no internet (blog 4)

2008-01-11T01:04:00.001-08:00

Blog 4 Date: Tuesday 1st January 2008 Time: 5:00am

God I didnt know id be typing a blog so quickly! It's only been like 4 hours since my last blog and here i am doing another one! You maybe wondering why im doing a blog so early in the morning. Well....I cant sleep for shit! Idk why but i think it was drinking coke before going to bed ¬_¬ bad idea. I've been trying to sleep for the past 3 hours and nothing! i've been yawning like crazy, i keep moving around the bed like a loony! Its annoying. I feel tired but its just tht i cant fall asleep. And i keep getting delayed txts from brenda! lol Ahh idk ill try to fall asleep later but ill end up not falling asleep anyway. I really wish i had my internet right about now. Usually going on there helps me fall asleep. *sigh*...........STUPID ORANGE!!!!!!!!!!..................¬_¬

That is all.

Peace.

Month without no internet (blog 3)

2008-01-11T01:03:00.001-08:00

Blog 3 Date: Tuesday 1st January 2008 Time: 12:23am

So its now 2008. God time travels in a very weird speed. It seems like it was just yesterday when i finished school! And now im in 2nd year college! Its crazy!! But its been quite a year trust me. All the shit ive been through last year makes me worried about this year! God knows wht ill face this year! I try not to think about it too much though coz it gets to me. Wht im really thinking about is...Jodie. I havent mentioned her yet. Shes a person i met through elwyne. I met her in october and we suddenly clicked. Idk how but i guess we're the kinda ppl tht just wanted to keep in touch i guess. I never thought i could like someone like her and i didnt even want to! and the reason for tht is coz ramsey told me tht elwyne liked her too! and its very rare for someone like elwyne to like a girl coz hes not really tht sorta dude but hes always wanted a gf. And i think jodie is the sorta person for him because they both like anime, they both play games, etc. they basically have the same kinda interests. and w/e elwyne gets into, she'll get into. so i didnt wanna ruin tht for elwyne but having a gf isnt the most important thing to him. he just doesnt seem bothered on trying. he'll just lock himself away with it by playing games! But me....*sigh* idk....i couldnt help myself. the more time i spent with her the more i ended up liking her. we got off to a rocky start coz i kept teasing her to a point where she resulted into hitting me.........really hard!!!! so i stopped and we're ok now...i guess lol and wht i hate about liking this girl is tht there would be a time where she would do something or say something and i would end up not bothering with her and try not to like her but she would always win me bck somehow and thts wht pisses me off!! Theres so much i can say about her but i rather talk about something else. It's just tht, idk wht to expect this year. Im kinda hoping something could happen between me and her but being the person i am i highly doubt it! I think she likes some guy sooo...pfft yeah i guess thts it lol im just....indecisive about her right now. idk whether shes bi or not (apparently shes "not sure" so god knows which road shes heading!), idk whether she likes elwyne or not, idk if shes just saying she likes a guy to hide the fact she might like a girl but thts just my weird imagination drifting off! Theres so many thoughts running through my head and it always gets to me. But for now, i shall move away from the subject. All i can say is 'the future awaits....'

Im starting to get tired now, i wanna sleep but im too bored! lol it doesnt make sense but thts just me i guess. I ended up talking to my mum today. Which was fucking scary as shit! Well i actually just asked her for the password for the laptop since my bro changed it and when i asked her she didnt say anything for 10 seconds! Seriously! it actually looked like she was ignoring me but thankfully enough she was just trying to remember the password and she did! so i finally got to use the laptop! and i talked to jodie:D! (I just hope my bro doesn’t find out about me using it and change the password again and tht was fucking hell trying to find it out!) And going through tht whole 2 days without the internet, with no other way tht i can go on the internet...it just made me realise tht the internet is like an addiction. Everyone has an addiction and mine is the internet. Its like everyday i need to use it! Its like a drug basically. and i find it really annoying how mostly everyone has a full functional internet but i dont. its like every year i have to be cut off for at least a month or more! Its my stupid internet provider! Fucking cunts making us pay for this shitty broadband box then us paying for it and all of a sudden we get cut off! And i dont even know why? And whts more annoying is tht we cant even switch internet providers!! Coz they dont wanna lose any customers! Fucking idiots! if they dnt wanna lose customers then why provide shitty service and cut the internet off all the fucking time!!! It pisses me off!! It's been a month now tht theres been no internet and espicially during the holidays when i got fuck all to do they decide to cut it off! I swear to god if they keep doing this ill feel like killing every single person tht works for Orange!! ill go to every fucking orange market in the world and shoot every motherfucker in there! jesus christ even their fucking mobile phone service is shit! (But not as shit as Virgin sim cards i guess) but still shit! *sigh* the world today....

Well thts my rant gone long enough and im starting to get tooooooooooo sleepy so im gonna watch this movie, Point Blank now so lates:)

Month without no internet (blog 2)

2008-01-11T01:02:00.000-08:00

Blog 2 Date: Sunday 30th December 2007 Time: 4:06pm

So here i am again....bored but feeling even more miserable. Still no internet and whts even worse i cant use my bros laptop. and thts because he caught me using it 2 days ago and decided to change the password once again and this time....i cant figure it out. i tried everything and still nothing. So i dnt know what to do now. I was actually thinkin of walking to the internet cafe down farnharm road but i dnt have enough money...well i do but tht money is for college and ramsey's b-day present. Whats bringing me down even more is tht my dad keeps making me feel bad about not talking to my mum coz i havent talked to her for like 2 months now over my weight. now my dad wont stop going on about it and its making me feel even more worse. i think he likes reminding me how bad my weight is. idk why but i think my parents are twisted like tht. i know how bad my weight is. i dnt have to be reminded everyday about it coz the more they do the more i wont listen to them and the more it'll just make things worse. I seriously would like to go out but i rather be with someone to do it, not on my own. I used to do exercise before but i stopped for some reason. I guess i couldnt be bothered anymore. Thing is, for me to lose weight, i'd rather be doing something where it feels like im not being forced into it. I wanna be doing something im enjoying not something tht i HAVE to do. but my parents dont understand....they never do.
8 more days til i go college. Well....thts if i can go. I still feel uncomfortable askin my mum for money. I dont think she knows the day im going back so i guess i have to force myself to ask her. I just wish things would be the way they were again but tbh idk whether id be happy with it. because even when we were ok with each other i always thought that she never really cared for me and never really showed much affection. it always felt like she was given it to chris and alan more than to me. i know i done alot of wrong in my life but who doesnt? the only reason why i lead myself to do certain things is coz no one really shows me love or comfort. thts why im the way i am now. i feel so spiteful towards others and i nearly hate everything and bitch about it all the time.
but bck to the mother issue. i always felt like w/e i do for my mum. she never reallly cared. if i get a good grade in something, she wouldnt care. when i changed the music course i was gonna do at college just to make her happy, she didnt care wht i acheived in the course i was being forced to do. Idk wht i can do, nothing i do will never make my mum happy. i dnt know why i even bother.
last nite i felt like moving out. i seriously did. i wanted to call any of my friends to see if i can move in with them. but....i didnt know wht to decide. so now im stuck here. i dnt know where to go, wht to do. i dnt know how much life is gonna go wrong for me.

Month without no internet (blog 1)

2008-01-11T00:57:00.000-08:00

So here i am, alone in my room....bored off my head and resulting into doing this.
I haven't done these in such a long time because I just....didn't have the time! lol
Well, the main reason why im doing this blog is because my internet is gone and i wont be having it for a couple of days at the least or worse....longer which will prolly happen considering its nearly been 2 weeks now that i havent had internet. But i've been very fortunate enough to be using my bros laptop! It was quite difficult at first because my bro had an account for my mum on there and he didnt put a password on it thus making it easy to access but then he caught me quite a few times using it and he made a password for it so then i used my bros account and even though there was a password for tht i found out when i heard chris shout it out to caz (his fiance) when she asked for it. But then once alan found out i was using it he must've told chris making him change the password. i could still guess his password coz chris left a hint on there which is 'atreyu' and it must be a name of a song or summit..idk...but alas! I managed to find out the password my bro put for my mums account and it turned out it was the exact old password that i knew for my bros account! So thts how ive been using the internet for now, if i didnt know the password i woulda been doing these aaaaaaaages ago!! Now you maybe wondering how can i still use the internet on my bros laptop? thts coz its wireless internet and it can connect to another internet service provider somewhere else. it can be annoying sometimes though coz it can get slow at times but its something i guess. if i didnt have tht then id be wasting my money at the internet cafe! What also sucks is that i can only use the laptop when chris and alan are away coz they dnt know im using it which is why im resulting into doing this! it really sucks coz everytime they come bck from going out i totally spaz out and try to make it look like i wasnt using the laptop! *sigh*....i just wish i had my internet again:(((
Anyways, i dnt really like typing anymore, ill see if i can type again soon. Im planning on putting these on my blogger account once i get my internet bck tht is. Anywayz, ill blog later. peace.

more crap

2007-12-16T05:41:00.000-08:00

getin high as usal lol.
hey bored nice to meet u im bored to...like ur main profile song btw...never heard tht cover version before lol hit me back.
nm hun jc bored as allways...thanks i thought it was a bad pic cuz of the light and all lol what are u up to?
yup yup as allways. you?
lol yea like maybe hanging out one day lol.
lol hey im a nerd lol
hey i love ur ccommwent box whats up??
lol did u make smores?? i would have lol and thnx i guess lol i was just bored lol...whts up?
SWEET:) SO...WHEN?
UMM...CHANGE WHAT?
YEA I WOULDENT LET THEM AROUND EITHER.
tight song
Yea...so...like i said i cant wait till i get my licence next week!!!:-D
Hey cant wait lol sounds kool here.
OO COME PICK ME UP!! LOL YEA MESSEGE ME BCK WHEN U GET BACK<3>
nm jc...getin ready for bed...wht bout u?
its goin aight i got a 2 gb mp3,video and photo player.
well i could allways show it too ya when i come and see you(pun is intended)

blogger is annoying

2007-12-09T07:17:00.001-08:00

damn woman,congrats on the new bf....wont have to worry bout shit. (pic comment)

hey beutifull im starting my job today time for money saveing!!!! remmber my b day is tomarow!!! miss you!!! (profile comment)

oo....i read alot...wht all u up to? (profile comment)

SAME SAME...JUST GOT UP. (profile comment)

lookin cute..whts thjt book on the floor?? (pic comment)

new comments

2007-12-06T23:38:00.000-08:00

hey whats up? lisa did u try callin me yesterday and the day before?
hey lisa u online?
hey is your cold gone yet?
yea..my heads pretty gone right now to....has been for awhile...i havent smoked pot since..yea...im glad ur feelin better thoiugh
THANKS...WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? MY NAMES BRIAN BTW.
same here...bored as allways..dont got any freinds to hang out with.
yea i know
nm hun jc bored as allways...thanks i thought it was a bad pic cuz of the light and all lol what are u up to?
oo i aint on ur top i see how it is:P jk jk whts up?
THNX U AINT BAD AT ALL!!...BUT ANYWAYS I LIVE BOUT 47 MILES FROM inverness
happy thanksgiving

bulletins to post on my bday

2007-09-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Subject: MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMMOROW!
get me something!!! =D

i would like a new lip piercing :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: NEW BLOG
on my birthday party yesterday

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: To al the ppl that wished me a happy b-day today =]

thanx i love u guys =]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: My Brithday week has so far been..

the worst week of my life

i need some bud [weed]

i dont think i can ever smile now

im losing good friends =[

this is why i hate god so much

FUCK NAZARENE!!!

FUCK YOU

FUCK MY LIFE

MY SMILE IS GONE

but then again it is my fault =[

Ive lost her =[[[

i dont think i can love anymore

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random bulletin (dnt post on bday!)

Subject:
NEW PICS

ME AND THE DRUMMER OF UNEARTH

I FINALLY MEET A ROCKSTAR!!!!

hi5 info

2007-07-28T14:10:00.000-07:00

Lifestyle

About Me
ummm i dont like talkin bout my self why dont u im me k peace
Who I'd Like To Meet
anyone
Interests
well i like art mostly devil and demon art monsters dragons u know things like that
Current Favorite Artists / Bands
uhh ^
Favorite Movies
alot lol
Favorite TV Shows
idk
Favorite Books
evreything i love to read!!!!!
Favorite Quote
my momma allways said lol i love that
Background
Workplaces
nothing at the moment

Sex / Age / Status
Male / 18 / Tell you later
Birthday
August 27
Location
Mc Intosh, FL
Hometown
Gainesville
Looking To
Make friends, Date Women

ummm i dont like talkin bout my self why dont u im me k peace

HI5 profile COMMENTs
hey this is brian from yahoo how come u never told me bout this place?
hey beutifull wa sup?
yea u need to get on yahoo i miss ya!!

are u serious?? OMG AND WHERE HAVE U BEEN IV MISSED U!!!
uhh yea where in florida do u live???
lol yea im alive u even got any instent messengers???
ok well i added u hope to see u on soon hun i miss ya
hey
do i know you?
Hey thnx for adding me,...so whats up?
hey cutie thnx for addin me ttys hit me up sometime peace.
wa sup beutifull....are we cool??
wa sup beutifull thnx for acepting me hit me back peace.

PIC COMMENTS
hell na it sexxy u sexxy
sexxy as hell like allways

DAMN TO BAD U LIVE IN TX SHIT LOL
your verry beutifull here:)

Sex / Age / Status
Male / 18 / Single
Birthday
August 27
Location
Mc Intosh, FL
Hometown
Gainesville
Looking To
Make friends, Date Women

Interests
Music,eleictronics,instent messegeing
Current Favorite Artists / Bands
ANYTHING AND EVREYTHING!!! my fav genra`s are rock,hard rock,alt. rock,acid rock,metal,hevy metal,speed metal,well u get the idea but i allso like some r&b hip hop and rap and classic rock like ac/dc an black sabbith an stuff like that.
Favorite Movies
red eye,forest gump,all tom hanks movies,all dracula and vampire movies,and all horer movies lol.
Favorite TV Shows
dont really watch tv that much
Favorite Books
anything really i love to read.
Well about me...hmmm....idk i like music and video games movies an shit like that....i dont really have much freinds so i guess im allways wanting to make new ones so yea...i dont go to school i cant i have been kicked outa evrey school in my county so im getin a job an ged an shit i like to read alot im not good at math at all lol so yea im mostly bored all the time so talkin ot ppl is kool i dont really talk much but if u strike up a convo im pretty sure in a few days of talkin ill talk your head off lol...so im me if ya wanna know more juss send me a messege if u want my im`s i have aim yahoo and msn so hope to hear from ya soon peace

Sexual Orientation
Straight
Drinker
No
Smoker
Yes

Favorite Music Genres
Hip-Hop, R&B, Punk, Rock, Alternative, Electronic, Reggeaton, Latin, Country, Jazz, Pop

Ethnicity
White/Caucasian
Religion
Atheist
Politics
Non-conformist
Languages
Education
Some High School
Occupation
Steak&Shake
Workplaces
Steak&Shake
Income
Less than $30K

Hi 5 playlist

Lacuna Coil - Falling Again
Evanescence - Bring Me To Life
Evanescence - My Immortal
Evanescence - Going Under
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Pearl Jam - Black
Nirvana - Come As You Are (Unplugged)
Nirvana - In Bloom
Shinedown - Save Me
System Of A Down - Chop Suey
Disturbed - Decadence
Slipknot - Vermillion
Element Eighty - Killing Me
Staind - It's Been A While
Rihanna - Unfaithful

new pic comments

2007-07-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

OMG BY WHO?
hehe u needa come on an ride a cowboy=D
pfft light smokers:P lol jk
cutie lol
dnt forget beutifull eyes and amazing lips:-D
damn your eyes are lookin beutifull in this pic.
damn...u just keep geting sexyer and sexyer and from that look u fuckin know it to!!!
cute smile it looks like a fake one...i cant tell...
hehe i know what your thinkin...."HEY BRIAN WA SUP HOW BOUT COMEING OT MY PLACE TONIGHT" :-d
no maybe about it!!
fucking cutie
self esteem...witch u should have no problme with;)
ok just three letters....WTF!!!?!?!?!
you look verry pretty<33>
hehe yea awsome eyes:-d
hahah nice boxers:P lol
damn...you lookin real good.i gotta go to the beach sometime soon.
my pink floyd shirts better then yourrrs lol love ya<3
rawwwrr
thas becuse she is younger in this pic lol
see this is why if u ever cut your hair i kill you.
HA....
NOOOOO!!!! WE NEED TO TALK LIL GIRL!!!
WHA....I THOUGHT I WAS!!!!!:(:(:(:(
UMMM NO I AM:)
UMM NO SEE HEAD OFF MEANS NECK IS SPLIT WITH NO HEAD ON IT SO YEA LOOK MOUTH NECK ALL INTACT EYES NOT SO EYES AND TOP OF SKULL GONE NOT THE WHOLE HEAD"{
GRRR THAT BETTER BE THE ONLY THING YOULL BE KISSIN ALL UP ON LIKE THAT @@@@$%#%$%@%#$%

yea still retarded

2007-06-28T16:06:00.000-07:00

Headline

IMA BLAST ON A HATER AND WORRY BOUT IT LATER!

comments

UMM...IM KINDA SEEING THIS WOMAN SHE..S LIKE 20 SHES KOOL..BUT WHAT ASBOUT THE DAY AFTEER TOMSROW?
sup cuz? dont have sex and DONT DO DRUGS ITS BAD....(cept for pot pot is good yes it is:-D
hey cuz whats up?.
happy b day babe<3>
awwww nooooo whyd ya do tht:((
YEA SHE..S SWEET BUT WE JUST REALLY GOOD FREINDS
hey what are u up to??thnx for the pic comment:P
same here i just got out of the shower all clean now:P lol im bored as hell.
yea but even myspace is starting to bore me:P
lol no one messeges me either...u got yahoo or msn? or aim?
oo i see how ya are im not nummber anything on your freinds list meanie:P
"i have a little angel
that flys around with a hammer
and hits every one I love..
I hope it beats the
s-h-i-t out of you..
Send this to everyone you
care about, even me
(if you care)and if you get
8 you are loved"
hey brandy how was your viset with kaylee?
hey babe i miss u i hope u come bck tomarow i hope u told evreyone at tinas i said hey!! bye<3>
hey brandy whats up? well im bored so i thought id show u some love take care ttyl<3love>
"""i love you to death. If I don't get this back, I understand. But I have a game for you. Once you read this letter, you must send it to 15 people that you really care about, including the person that sent it to you. If you receive at least 7 back, then you are loved. Nobody knows what they have until they loose it. You never leave the person whom you love for the one you like, because that person who you like will leave you for the person whom they love. Tonight, right at 12:00am, your true love is going to realize that they LOVE you! Then something is going to happen to you between 1:00 and 2:00 a.m. Tomorrow, be ready for the greatest shock of your life. If you break this chain, you are going to have bad luck in love for the next years of your life. Send this to 15 people in 15 minutes. Do it if you wanna know who your real love is
ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU, ii LOVE YOU
SEND THIS COMMENT TO ALL THE PPL YOU LOVE. LOOK DOWN AT THE TABLE TOO SEE HOW MUCH PPL LOVE YOU...............
1= NOT SO LOVED YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF TOWN
2=SOME PPL LOVE YOU BUT NOT TO MANY
3=PPL LIKE YOU
4= PPL LOVE YOU
5= DANG PPL ADORE YOU
6= YOUR LIKE THE MOST POPULAR

i know u want to but kinda cant right now srry:P
hey u should put me on the other side of tht heart thingy..
hey whats up?
HEY I TRIDE CALLIN U BUT U DIDINT ANSER...WELL ILL BE AT MY AUNTS IN ABOUT 30 MINS SO CALL IF YA WANNA TALK LOVE YA
lol u first:P
(blog comment) no ur not being pathetic u cant help who u love hun but itll heal with time i could beat him up if u want:P i love you,
(blog comment) whos this too??
hey im just letin ya know im goin to bed gotta work tomarow take it easy ill call ya<33>
hey smexxie whts up?
hey girl wuts up? thts a sexy new main pic u got btw hit me up sometime.
ya i know and hey dont be over guys yet till u give one more a chance;) lol ttyl get some rest.

wa sup sexxy get on yahoo later im on like allways lol btw tag is sweet thnx;)

wa sup thnx for adding me u got any instent messengers?write me back peace.

i...idk i mean how do u like me more then u should?? but lea would get mad i..i dont wanna ruin things with her we have been doing good believe it or not:) but...why all of a sudden this thing about u likeing me more then u should?write me back or get on

hey u stole tht comment iv seen it on one of your freinds pages lol

hey...u gonna ever call me or txt me bck or wht??

pic comments

hahaha my lil cuz is all grown up show em!!!
lol
oh i cant...hmm ya never know.
idk...evryone allways asks me tht:(
damn...no comment:P

and even more retarded

2007-06-21T23:50:00.000-07:00

comments

hey....what do u mean u got lied to..??
oo i know when your b day is trust me..
lol cuz im geting pissed at my ppls up here.
lol why do u think? im trying ot make it up there for your b day ...
yea well...like allways dnt get your hopes up till i actualy get a car of my own cuz ppl dont like helping my ass out anyfucking more
lol did yall get crunk as fuck lastnight or somethin???
ooo lol who u calling a looser:P
YEA WELL IM ABOUT TO BLOW!!!
i love u to.
i love wht u did with this pic good going:-D
yo sexxy wa sup???bored as allways well im talkin to u on yahoo but yea well comment my pics an when u get pics up ill do same rawrrr.

blogger is retarded

2007-06-21T16:17:00.000-07:00

comments

hey u need to come see me and we need to talk about this in person ok?
yea same here not shit to do.
yea sux ass and balls lol so...wht u doin tonight?
same here ecept...ill be by myself..i may even watch a movie and get high...by myself of course like allways im gonna be so bored lol wht movie u gonna watch?
THTS KOOL...I WENT TO THE MOVIES LAST WEEK AND SEEN PIRETS OF THE CARRABIAN 3 IT WAS ALLRIGHT...THT SUX THT YOUR FREIND DIDINT COME OVER
thts good...wish i could find something to do other then being on myspace:P
lol yea...probly all few million of the ppl on myspace do to eh? lol...u dnt really live in hawaie do u??<
oo..thts kool...wht do u like about hawaie?
ahh sounds radical dude:P
just downloading movies lol since we were talking aobut movies lol
lol kool kool well its been nice talkin to u but my lil cuz has to use the computer ill chat at ya later take it easy.
hey hope u and christien are haveing fun!!:)
im callin u not pickin up
my mom is saying she will i hope so but remmber dnt get your hopes up im trying not to but i mean it sux iv known u since u just turned 14 so im gonna lay a guilt trip on her lollove u<3

pic comments

awsome seeing yall together agian<33>
damn girl u lookin sexy as fuck.me likey alot.
like peas and carrots:P

stupid blogger wont let me edit my blog so gotta do another one here

2007-06-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

headline

all i did was love her
brian

comments

hey nothing much jc i just got up wht u up to beutifull?
hey whts up with you?
umm..do i know u?
ya i did for like a week
hey girl how u doin?
about wht hun?

pic comments

HEY WHO THE FUCK GAVE U THAT HICKEY!!!!!ILL KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!!!....oo...oops tht was...oops hehe
well....whoever u give it to will be one of the luckyest men in the universe.
i will. love you.
wht are u sad about baby:(????
wish tht was my blood on your lips.
lol ok:-d
i cant wait till u get bck have a safe trip home<33u>
heheh..no comment;)
hey beutifull...i think ima print this pic out and put it on my wall. ~Brian~
u look bored as fuck...yea thts me just stateing the odvious eh?
NO SHE SHOULDENT:(
hahah my two fav girls i love yall!!!.
damn my shirt looks good as fuck on you!!!
daaamn u look diff...:O u look hot as hell.
fucking cutie
yea this needs to be your default alicia u look beutifull.

and they my music is bad

2007-06-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

its a reeeeallly hot sunny day and at days like this i just wanna sleep, relax, chill, leave my window open...but no...no one wants that to happen. on a sunny day like this ppl want to make as much noise as they can like...

contruction work
lil' kids playing, screaming, playing their cheap toys
and the usual loud noise from outside

yea u try living here. its a fucking nightmare.
the kids espicially piss me off. they play non-stop, early in the morning til late at night! and i thought chavs were worse!!! they do is everyday! its fucking annoying!!!!!!! im even playing my music full blast to blank it out. i would close the window but on a sunny hot day like this...u must be joking.

another annoying thing is my dad being moany with the tv. im trying to relax watching tv but he has to come along and watch his boring sports and he says the things i watch are boring........FUCKING GAY BALD FAG CUNT!!!!!!
I DONT CARE IF HES TIRED FROM WORK!!! ALL I SEE HIM DO IS WATCH TV, ASK FOR TEA, WANT THINGS DONE FOR HIMSELF, ETC. god i just wanna stop this now coz the more i go on the more im pissed off. gonna go ttyl.

My favoret lyrics vol.1

2007-05-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

Murder Is Masterbation

I'm not awake
But I'm not dead
The drugs are late
Lost my money again

They never gave you anything
You'd think you get the fucking point
I'll laugh until I'm fucking killed
I see the point but I can't find a way
To get through this fucking mental hell!!!

I'm not alright, but I'm OK
[x2]

All hail the pessimist
All hail the anarchist
All hail the rest that never gave
A motherfuckin' shit

It's killing season
Time to celebrate
What better way than to
Rid the world of all the walking waste

Wanna see it
I'll show you something
A middle finger
With a barrel and it's fucking cocked

I got a new way
So you can fuck yourself
Kill the motherfucker - all that I think about, yeah!

I'm not alright, but I'm OK
[x2]

Sometimes
You gotta voice your revenge
Or you're better off dead
You'll lose your fucking mind
Sometimes
You gotta look at yourself
See the world inside out
And scream out loud

That motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
And that's all that I think about [x2]

That motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Cause we all need to scream out loud

I'm not alright, but I'm OK
[x2]

I found the easy way to die
Just educate myself and pretend
All I've learned's untrue
And yeah, I know that
All I'll lose is you

Have you ever loved something
That never seemed to
Have a face at all
It just screams out loud.....yeah!

It always cures the pain that would never leave
Then causes even more
It just screams out loud
But never goes away!

That motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
And that's all that I think about

That motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
Kill that motherfucker
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bored so time for an update!

2007-05-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

hmm...i dont really know how to start my blogs anymore lol but yea ill juss go along with it. its monday today. and its actually bank holiday so i aint got college...well actually i got the whole week off...well lol its actually catch up-week for my college coz the college never really has a half-term unless its a holiday. idk if i made a blog for my last catch-up week but if i didnt then ill explain. catch-up week is a day where some or juss foundation students dont have to come in college unless they get a letter saying they have to for a certain day in the week but i havent got a letter so far so im basically free for the week buuuut what i plan to do is still get the money my mum is giving me and use it to go out. it worked before so i hope it'll work again. and this is what i basically have planned for this week...

monday - bank holiday

tuesday - going to slough with brenda

wednesday - going to slough with steph and lisa

thursday - day off

friday - going to reading with natasha

so thats all planned and i think coz i got monday and tuesday off, i only have £24 plus £1 i found yesterday so thats £25. i hope its enough for those 3 days but i think wednesday will be more money spent coz steph is someone that juss wants to go places that are expensive and buy things that are expensive. i honestly dont know how she doesnt go to college or have a job and still wants to spend like crazy! shes so retarded. but anyways, gotta live with it coz otherwise i got nothing else to do that day.

so i just hope i look forward to that. next subject. my trip to longleat was fucking awesome!! it was well worth it for £5 and there was so much stuff to do for that certain amount of money unlike food or crappy stuff like that. i got pics and vids from the day but i cant be bothered to post. its on my myspace, photobucket and bebo though so its all good:D

also coming up are 2 more exams which is gay >_<>

and i got more doctors appointments coming too. after this week they'll be one on wednesday which is when i have college but there is no other day my mum wants the appointment so she chose that day so i get to skip college that day when i dont really want to lol i already had my blood test just last week and they took out like 3 tubes of blood and i had to not eat anything for 12 hours!! so i was nearly on the brink of fainting!!!

what i got next is the results and to check if i need medication. the doctor said that she can give me tablets to help me loose weight which is what i really want but theres more...

i gotta go to the gym again and i can get my own personal trainer which is better coz last time i was at the gym i didnt have 1 and didnt know what to fuck to do and how long i had to do it. so i guess thats gonna be ok.

and theres also this which i think is the funniest and completely useless one. is this hypnotism crap. this dude from leeds does it to help ppl control temptations for weight and get this, its cost £100 for each session!!! hahaha! like thats a whole load of bullshit right there!! but im gonna look forward to doing it. wanna see if it actually works and i've never been hypnotized before so should be ok...

so i hope all this works and im juss doing so my mum and dad can shut up about my weight for a change and stop annoying me about what to eat and what not to eat or drink coz i'd just ignore them anyway if they keep pissing me off!

oo another thing to talk about. i finally got my tooth fixed but couple of weeks back it snapped again after the dentist put it back in again! and i actually thought it was gonna stay coz he put alot of glue on it! but it didnt unforuntely and it only lasted 2 or 3 days. but i just got it fixed on thursday and it seems to be doing ok. i can eat properly...sorta and i got my dentures just incase it falls out coz apparently my mum says that if it falls off again she wont go back there coz u gotta pay and shit soo yea...just hope this one lasts now coz it was a bitch having to always worry about it these past couple of weeks and eat like a spaz! ill show u pic of the dentures now actually (coz im that bored lol)

they're uploading on photobucket now so ill show u a pic of my new harcut. its gay at the mo coz my mum had to cut it and she cut it all spazzy like last time but i guess when it grows it'll be ok...i hope...lol

and finally the dentures!! dont mind the white bit, that jus came with it lol

and thats what im going to be wearing for the rest of my whole life...not pretty, eh? but meh thats my fault. anyways i also gotta show u the new big screen tv we got last week.

pretty awsome, eh?

my mum and dad also bought one of those swinging chairs but i havent got a pic of it. its still kool though. i even fell asleep on it lol

but anyways. i think this is the end of my blog. gonna see if i can find anything else to do (which i doubt) while im bored so blog to ya in another long while!:D

one of the worst weeks ever (well some days sucked)

2007-05-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

first started off with a crap monday. every monday sucks. first day of the week, recovering from a weekend of doin whatever and its only one of the busyest days. oh and everyones moody juss like my classmates. no offence they're ok and all but some of 'em can be gay from time to time. but yea nothing bad really happened. but tuesday sucked the most! tuesday is the day i get to hang out with rob coz he only comes to the college once a week so we try to make the most of it but now, we've started to lose things to talk about. we usually talk about the same old stuff which is sarah, kerrie, jono, wrestling, his job, ramz, college, other crap. this week was mainly about football and the other topics i juss mentioned. its starting to get boring and kinda awkward. i always try to think of things to talk about if im with someone but by the time when im actually gonna have that convo, i forget about what i wanted to talk about and the convo dies. well not really, it juss usually leaves me to wonder what i thought we could talk about. so i got to think more of what to think about now. thing is with robert, its so hard to get a laugh out of him or juss a hint of him being interested. but i try my best at least. its juss that robert wasnt someone i was close to before so it makes it kinda more difficult. but yea anyways moving on from that day. after college, my mum made tortillas for dinner and thas very rare for her to make aswell! and i was waiting ages for her to finish making it coz i didnt have much to eat for college that day and i dont think i bought anything that day either so i was starving myself 3 hours juss after i arrived home. so when it was finally there, i ate through and i was barely half way until i heard a snap and it ended up being my fake tooth. after months or prolly years, it decided to come out juss when i was enjoying a delicious tortilla. and then my mum started having a go at me for not brushing my teeth, etc. and then i was left crying my eyes out. and then she told me to brush my teeth before she can fix it and while i was doing that it fell out and nearly dropped all the way down the sink!!! but luckily i caught it. so after that, my mum used this glue (not ordinary glue, like similiar to the one i got on my fake tooth now) but that didnt work so my mum decided to use super glue and that worked but at the mo its wobbly. my mum said if it comes out she'd glue it back in til thursday (which is my dentist appointment) and another stupid thing is, is that its my doctors appointment aswell which was supposed to be during the easter holidays but apparently didnt happen. the doctors thing is about my weight. yet again my mum cant stop going on about it. i'd thought she'd leave me and do my thing but shes got nothing better to do than to let me down all the time about my weight. seriously, the more she goes on about it, the more i'll keep doing it so like it or not, im gonna keep doing it if she keeps moaning about it. its my body. i'll do what i want with it!! theres nothing more i hate than ppl that are concerned with appearance. why should i listen to someone whos abused me physically and called me names. hows that love? everyone says she does that coz she loves me?! BOLLOCKS! SHE NEVER HAS AND NEVER WILL!!! SHE DONT TREAT ME LIKE A DAUGHTER AT ALL!!! she even made my cry again coz its juss now she tells me my godmother died when she died juss this recent december and she juss tells me now!! FUCKING 5 MONTHS!! IM REALLY PISSED OFF WITH HER NOW!!! im juss gonna end this before this gets out of hand. later all.

^date

2007-04-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

so yea im bored at the mo and i've been meaning to do a blog for awhile now coz i got loads of plans coming up. but lets see if i can update whats been happening previously.

i juss had my bday 2 weeks ago and tbh it wasnt that bad. it was better than last year i'll tell ya that. even though all i did last year was juss go bowling with sarah and fiona then crash at my house. it sucked a bit coz i wanted more ppl to come but most ppl had coursework to do and shit like that. but this year i was greeted by loads of ppl and even though i didn't get many gifts it was still something. well my mates derek and jerin bought me food and drinks so tha was ok lol and the only proper gift i got was from ramz sis, diana. she made me a kool paper hat but it couldnt fit on my head but its ok. its hanging on top of my computer rite now:p

oh and turns out i got the same bday as my form tutor, my maths teacher's husband annnd david tennant! (some actor) so tha was weird. i didnt know other ppl i knew (except david tennant and my maths teacher husband) would have the same bday as me so tha was a surprise.

it was weird, my mum sooo didn't have anything planned coz she still had to shop for the stuff on the day and when the time came to blow out the candles on my cake she didn't even have the card ready orr the money to put on it! lol but i got the money a couple of days after but then had to spend it for my train to college but thennn got it back lol but i had to spend most of it on new hairbands, deodarant, nail polish and guitar picks for my cousin. rite now im gonna try to save it back up for the days planned ahead which i'll mention later on but back to my cake. tis a nice cake lol and what i wished for was to get a job and get along with the course i'll be doing this year. so far the job thing is getting annoying coz i applied only at primark and millets and heres the story behind that...

i originally wanted to apply at primark coz a mate said they had vacancies avaiable so i went there 2 weeks ago with ramz but first we went to millets where ramz was applying and the manager of the place was like 'we got thursdays and sunday avaiable' and ramz was being all gay saying 'oh i got college on thursdays and church on sundays' so he couldnt do full time those days but i could coz i got days off on thursdays and i dont go church anymore so i was free all day tha day so i randomly came out, 'i'll do it' and the dude was like 'ok write ur name and number down' and i was all like ok and i actually got a call from them the day after and apparently i was supposed to have an interview but they were busy so they couldn't do it but they'd called me following week to fill in an application but i didnt get a call that day so i went there this recent thursday and i gotta wait for another call and interviews will be this coming saturday so thas more waiting!! but tbh i didn't know i was supposed to have an interview that day they called. i thought it was ramz! so now im up against 20 ppl for the job and its gonna be harder and i have a feeling i wont get the job...but i juss gotta wait and see what happens i guess.

oh the primark thing! yea i gave in my cv there and i havent got a reply for that. my mate lisa did though and she gave hers in later than me! so me wishing for a job thing aint working out pretty well and its getting annoying coz im not gonna have alot of money by the end of may prolly and its really getting to me!

but yea i mite aswell mention what i got planned...

7th may - holy family mayfair or whatever its called, going with ramz, diana, rob and jono. idk what u can do there and shit but hopefully im not gonna waste much money.
11th may - this day aint gonna happen coz i got college but jono invited me to go to thorpe park this day. he got me pre-paid tickets and only says i need money for food. thing is idk how i'll get there and get back without the college or my mum&dad finding out. rob is coming aswell. but yea, jono hasnt begged me to come yet, hes prolly bringing someone else so idk what the news on that is yet.
15th may - im at college this day but the linkin park album is coming out this day and if i see it im getting it!!!
17th may - interview for next course. hopefully i'll get in >_
18th may - going to Longleat!!!

so yea thas whats happening and thas why i need to save up my money! and hopefully i can get a job before any of this orr whenever! juss soon i hope:(

anyways, i think thas about it. i dont wanna spend anymore time adding stuff so im gonna finish this and post more random crap lol laters peeps. peace.

more normal comments & other stuff

2007-04-18T21:14:00.001-07:00

comments

wa sup dog?
hey hun hows you? i just thought id leave you a comment since i havent before lol well comment back on my profile and pics and ill do same love ya byes<33>
hey i miss u, messege me smetime or im me on yahoo my yahoo sux ass so ill prolly be on aim.
hey wa sup? yea it was nice talkin to u on stickam lastnight been awhile well ill hit u up later on later<33
hey baby wa sup? ill ttyl ill be home at like 830
Wa sup beutifull just thought id leave u a comment haveint in awhile so...ttyt luv ya.
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. You are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. Dont ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love. tonite ur true love will realize how much they love u between 1 and 4 in the morning. tomorrow the shock of your life will occur if u break the chain. you will have bad luck for 10 years, if you don't pass this on to 15 people. if u get this it means the person who sent it truly cares about u!!
HEY BABY IV MISSED YOU!!!!!!!<33333333
oh shut up evan you big baby

well anyways wa sup baby im gonna get on yahoo now tty there<333>
wa sup baby happy vallintine beutifull i would get u some roses if i had a job:(( but well i love ya hope thas enough:( byes baby.
Wa sup sexy? juss thought i would leave a page comment nice page love the wolfs u need ta like get a pic of your blanket an mak it your backround lol idk but either way love the site layout keep it up peace.<3
yo man im going ot be down at your house l8ter tonight man prolly at like 12 or 1230 ill let you know when i get ready/
yea same here its fun hanging with you two,well rite back.
what im do you use i got all of them at my house whats your add?
umm is that aim msn or yahoo?
are you on msn now?
hey cuz whats up?.
what u up to?
hey...
hey alicia how you been?
i cant call long distance so yea...u are gonana have ot call me srry
hey alicia whats up? i miss talkin to u.
hey alicia whats up i have not bee nable ot talk ot u latly i miss ya love u bye<33>
hey beutifull whats up? im glad u in school agian !!!
umm why the fuck do u even have me on your freinds list if u wont FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ummm u ever gonna write me back???
.....well i guess not.....night miss ya:(
hey alicia...how u been i not heard from u in awhile jw if u doing ok well hit me back peace.
hey babe im at a party its fucking awsome!!!!
ewww youv got angels ugly mug on there btu not mine lol oh wellz i know ya love me idc i mean im talkin on phone wit u and he aint os ha;)
HAHA DONT WE ALL IM GETIN HIGH TODAY ALICIA WANNA JOIN BABY?
hey happy b day love you<33>
hey....happy b day i guess:( im srry:(
YAY I CANT WAIT TO SEE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU<33>
lol looks like spenc got a laugh outa that comment i left ya lol
hey why u delet that love of my life comment its tru ya know;)
hey whats up and welcome to freindster;) have not heard from you in a while u been doin ok? hit me back.
love you<3
HEY BEUTIFULL
hey i miss you!!!<33>
hey babe..i just got my internet bck over at bills im going to my house and takeing a shower ill be bck on in like a hr or two love you<33
~Brian~
im not changeing my status bck to single:( love you<33
hey i would but my aunts on the phone. and send me your nummber agian in a messege and ill call u as soon as i can love u bye.

other stuff: hi im anne im me or write me an e mail later peace.

quote: YOU AINT NOTHING BUT THE SHIT ON MY BOOTS AND THE PISS RUNNIN DOWN MY LEG.

personal msgs

OOOH IMA ACT A DAMN FOOL YUP
NO ONE WANTS TO TALK TO ME AND IM BORED:(:(:(
im sick...
talking to a freind may or may not reply... (Busy)
............
Someone....... (msn name)
..................
too much of my grandmas homemade cake lastnight:(
FEELING BETTER:D:D!!!!!!
not feeling so good:(:(:(
OMFG IM SOOO FUCKING SORE!!!
IM NOT AT MY DESK ATM,IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK GIVE ME A CALL.
im sleeping leave a messege.
going to sleep!!!
im sleeping l;eave messege
tkaeing a shower bbs.

crap

Rammstein - Mutter
yea...this song is close to my heart i can deff relate to this song....big time....
Killswitch Engage - My Last Seranade
yea me to he is way better!!!
Seether - Gasoline
HAHA reminds me of one of the feelings i got wit my ex gf lol
Hinder - Get Stoned
AWSOME AWSOME SONG!!!!

usernames

Anne Lewis

url: smokertoker

lol yea thnx for the pic comment lol and yea just a lil high lol, do u have yahoo or aim or aol? or msn?
hahaha hell yea im stoned,whats up with you? write bck. Brian.
oo tell my sis i said hey then!!!
hey man whats happinin??
same here man,hungover like a motherfucker lol just waiting on my mom to get home os i can go to my freinds house...well hopefully soon ot be gf idk yet lol
hey babe ...i just got home lol its like 145 am so ima go to sleep ill see u tomarow sometime hopefully if thas kool wit you...well i love ya and ill ttyl<3>
hey call me im at my house
hey u can call anytime its 1130..<3

headline

if you dont like me then why are you on my myspace
lyric master
LETS START A MOTHERFUCKIN RIOT IN THIS BITCH!!!!
i love you...u know who you are.
nigga yous a fuck boy!!!
THEY DONT WANNA FUCK WITH THE MURDER MAN!!!
i love you
KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER,ITS ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT!!
~Brian~I LOVE HER SO MUCH:(
U MAY FIND OUT NEXT TIME WE MEET;)

bebo secret

2007-04-06T09:33:00.001-07:00

= <> WITHOUT SPACES

= <> WITHOUT SPACES

= <> WITHOUT SPACES

= <> WITHOUT SPACES

funny

2007-04-04T19:23:00.001-07:00

1) I NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5)
2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11)
3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15)
4) CALM DOWN DONT BE PISSED ( L0OK AT #13)
5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2)
6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12)
7) I JUST WANTED TO TELL U HI!!! =)
8) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14)
9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4)
10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7)
11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS:( (L0OK AT#6)
12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8)
13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10)
14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3)
15) YOU MUST BE REALLY PISSED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9)

Brujerizmo

2007-03-31T15:55:00.001-07:00

Brujeria

Hoy BRUJERIZMO pa tí satanismo!
Fé en lo viejo te está chingando
Virus de cristo te está fallando
Infesta gente jodiendo mentes
El organismo del Anti-Cristo!
BRUJERIZMO oscuro hallo
Desde niño Satanismo!
Contra todo Hoy BRUJERIZMO pa tí satanismo!
BRUJERIZMO! Cura joto
Cristo fallo!
Satanismo desde niño
Hoy BRUJERIZMO pa tí satanismo!
Si no cambian las leyes que mandan
Ya esta listo para negativo
Maquinas de hoy son como gente
Programados contra todo

[English translation:]

Today brujerizmo for you satanism

Faith in the old ways are fucking you
The Christ virus is failing you
Infecting people destroying minds
The organism of the anti-Christ
Brujerizmo! Darkness found
Since childhood
Satanism! Against everything
Today brujerizmo for you satanism
Brujerizmo! Faggot priest
Christ failed
Satanism! Since childhood
Today brujerizmo for you satanism

If there's no change in the laws that rule
Everything is now ready for the negative
The machines of today are like most people
Programmed against everything

FUCK YOUR GOD

2007-03-30T21:54:00.000-07:00

I forsee at my end to be banished,
By your god for my life and branding
Never around, in the greatness of sorrow,
Screw your god and his UN writ moral.
Stifle god, and the idols of hatred,
Out of my heart, I have always been free,
One with no need all alone and satanic.
Wretched and Vile, fuck your god, de face him.
Who could believe in a lord that's demanding?
Hard to believe when we die we vanish,
In his deny and for all his creation,
Fuck your god and his righteous hatred.
You and your son, you are nothing but absence,
Something not there that controls this planet,
Only deceit do I see in your hallow
If you believe you will dwell in failure.
Fuck Your God, Holy mother for the whore she is,
Fuck your God, bible thumper preaching threats from hymn,
Fuck your god, his revival and the holy Ghost,
Fuck your god; only tell us what we need to know,
Fuck your god, pointing fingers and then do as me,
Fuck your god, you are nothing and you'll never be,
Fuck your god; it is Satan who in trusts my soul,
Fuck your god, where the Christians are I will not go.
Fuck your god!!!!!

Fuck his, commandments, and prophet's left stranded to die,
Not in my heart or my soul as I go through this life,
Good book of bullshit lay dirty with vengeance and lies,
Go fuck your Jesus and get- the- fuck out my sight.

Unity over flowing with anger,
It is our time to remove the savior,
Christians are weak and the bible is beaten,
Homage to god, in this world not needed.
Fuck your god an his annals of plager,
Falling apart and exposing the light,
I will not live by the words of their Jesus,
He did not die to protect or save me.
There is just blood in his book of deceiving,
Riddles and crap to his divine healing,
Fail is your faith and you blame it on Satan,
Christians can't see that their preys are wasted.
Not a slave to religion unrendered,
Falsified god and his Christ redempters.
Never to be in the presence of grandeur,
I am for me and forever after.

Fuck Your God, Holy mother for the whore she is,
Fuck your God, bible thumper preaching threats from hymn,
Fuck your god, his revival and the holy Ghost,
Fuck your god; only tell us what we need to know,
Fuck your god, pointing fingers and then do as me,
Fuck your god, you are nothing and you'll never be,
Fuck your god; it is Satan who in trusts my soul,
Fuck your god, where the Christians are I will not go.
Fuck your god!!!!! Fuck you!!!!

Fuck It we are Unappreciated

2007-03-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry
that i bought you roses
to tell you that i like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not an asshole

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just f**k you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That i cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different.

♥ ♥ ♥

Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

** If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, repost as "if she only knew"

** If You're one of the few girls with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your guy feel this way, repost as "To all the girls who look past the nice guys

SCARS OF THE CRUCIFIX

2007-03-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

DEICIDE

Impale the body, scares of his flesh, hung up to die on the crucifixion, bleeding to breathe, cursing at god...Why!!!!!!!

The glory resurrection; live in wounds of recollection,
Who take his will unreasoned, naivete inside soul defeated?
Lascivious redemption, justify thy vile absence,
Propagate his aggression as you use his words as weapons.

Lies now have you lost, the worthless cause of the crucifixion.
The sanctity, to hang and bleed, and in the form of a human cross.
Blind by prophecy, his bible fiend, a bloody sword of his fantasy.
Tried for heresy, and sacrilege, to bare the scars of the crucifix.

You walk alone with Jesus, in a world of non-believers,
Humiliated savior, Is thy son of heavens failure,
For ever left undone, on the cross for everyone,
His words of god unheard, he is dead and not concerned.

God fatality, the life recedes on the cross of his sign,
Finality, in search of peace, to beg and plead for the end that will be,
The light descends, when suffering, impaled again for your blasphemous lies.
Resented death, his sins confessed, accept the scars of the crucifix.

Sad in your sorrow, withered within, stand in the shadow of all of our sins, you are the son, choke on his blood...Die!!!!!!

coming up to easter hols...

2007-03-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

long time no blog...
been posting alot of crap on here lately coz i have no where else to put my notes and that. i could go on fileden or summit(i juss realized this now) but it takes time. on here it doesn't. so anywayz, carrying on i'll move on with whats happening...

so not much has happened from since when i last blogged. juss college and the usual this and that. nothing major juss lil stuff i guess but moving on...

i gave in my application for the gcse pathway and i juss got a letter last week saying i have an interview on may 17th at 3pm! and thats a day before my longleat trip!! but yeh i'm hoping i get in coz thats the only course i'm alrite with doing and something my mum and dad actually agree on so *crosses fingers* wish me luck!

next, i'm starting to get over this girl i like in college. yeh shes one of those girls i like then stop after i eventually realize shes out of my league. like how i can i compete with a drummer from mcr who shes completely obsessed with! it sux. i still like her a bit and everytime i see her i always go shy and look away - y'know that sorta thing but i still wanna get over her. but ramsey on the other hand thinks i got a shot and is desperately trying to hook me and her up! like whats the point?? i haven't really said a thing to this girl, only a couple of messages on myspace but that was it! but ramz was trying to convince me to give her drum lessons coz the ones she had previously were ones that she had to pay £5 for, for each lesson which is bullshit to me coz i wouldn't really do that. but it all depends on experience really. i'd prolly give lessons for free coz i'm not that much of a drummer. and i haven't been on a drumkit for a year now! so it'll take me awhile to get back to my roots. but anywayz, i decided not to give her lessons coz 1. i don't even talk to her. 2. despite me having a big crush on her and trying to get over her doesn't really help. 3. i'm too shy lol

so theres that done. i guess i'll move on to the lil' stuff...

my e-string snapped off randomly a couple of weeks ago and i stopped playing guitar for awhile but finally had some money this week to buy another one and my dad put it on for me. idk how he knows to put it on but my mum doesn't considering she played guitar at my age but its back on and i can finally release my boredom with playing some new songs after downloading chevelle, good charlotte and finger eleven's new album. i love utorrent :D chevelle's new album rocks! its like one of their best albums! out of all of em, Vena Sera is their best album ever! good charlotte and finger eleven's have turned more dance-tech rock lately which is alrite, the songs are still good but kinda changing it a bit too much.
i also tried downloading linkin park's new album which ain't due til may 15th and when i finished downloading it, it didn't sound anything like them!!! so best wait til the album is actually released which is still another 47 days away ¬_¬

next, i watched 300. one of the best movies released so far. loved the fighting scenes. they're too awesome.
i tried download number 23 but when i did, it ended up being a porno and truss me this porno wasn't ur ideal mouthwatering porno. if u like girls shitting on each other, puking and eating shit. then u'd like it but i don't. i was so disgusted by it. it actually scarred me for like now. imma try downloading it again but making sure it ain't the same file.
i need to download some other movies while i'm ahead coz theres not much to do these days so i'll get down to that soon.
i actually tried download inuyasha but theres so many fricking epsiodes that it'd take up all the space on my pc! so i'm relying on youtube to give me the full eps which i hope they do coz i can't find any shorter way of watching this anime.

speaking of anime, i finished watching cromartie high school and it is one of the best animes ever!!! its sooo funny and random and i loved every bit of it! i even wanted to buy the manga but luckily enough i found a website where u can actually download it! and i downloaded every volume without paying anything!! i'm on vol 3 now coz it takes so long to read!! but still worth it in the end:p
i also downloaded gilgamesh but it was in french sub and there was no other english sub. only german, french, spanish and italian ¬_¬ and it has no manga either. so my only option is to watch it on rockworld tv and find out when its on.
i mite even download inuyasha manga but i'm afraid it mite be too long and stuff so i'll hold that thought after watching the actual anime and i still gotta finish reading cromartie high school.
awww even ramz gave me a poster of cromartie high school and its on my wall at this very moment coz its too kool!!:D

next thing...my webcam is busted. idk what happened to it but everytime i plug it in to try and use it, it says somethings wrong and crap.so now i'm using my old digi cam coz its also a webcam which is kool:p and yeh, if someone i know wants to see my webcam which is highly rarely these days then i'll use it but for now...no offers lol and the stupid cable for it is too short! it can't even reach to the keyboard!! so if their comes a time when i have to use i have to get off my chair and sit on the floor to use it and put the heater on for lighting coz the light on it is crap.

so yeh i think i covered all the topics so far.

so now heading to easter holidays!!!

first lisa made plans to go to windsor again. thats why i've been trying to save up my money this week which is so fricking hard!! i juss wanna spend it!!! but yeh, i haven't even asked my mum yet coz they haven't even planned a day yet!! so i might be saving up my money for nothing!!! and also might wanna do some skateboarding like last time but my stupid brother had to take off the wheels off my skateboard so idk if i can bring my skateboard this time! but whats the use when idk if it'll happen or not coz lisa has been trying to plan this for quite awhile now and idk if shes being serious this time but yeh, will have to wait and see....

next was ramz and his sis wanting to hang out. diana (ramz sis) called me last week and it was a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng phone call. it was like 2 hours and 26 mins. prolly one of the longest phone calls i had! but yeh she wanted to plan something but in the end nothing was gonna happen coz 1. they both weren't good at planning things. 2. ramz was too picky on where to hang out. 3. ramz said he wouldn't have any money during the easter holidays. so that failed.

next was greg, now his last plan was stupid coz he never even showed up in the end! but now he juss messaged me on tuesday asking if i wanted to hang with his anoyomous mate and drink and smoke and stuff on friday (which is tomorrow) or saturday. and i don't think thats gonna happen coz of last time but i replied asking for details and nothing so far which is juss what i expected but i'll have to see if i get a response on friday or sat coz he doesn't have a comp, i know he has to go to his mates to go on myspace and that so yeh...have to see what happens there aswell.

and finally, i juss got invited today to thorpe park from jono. (highly expected from him, that dumbum always wants to go to thorpe park). he wants to go on saturday but i mite be with greg on that day and i'll only have £7.80 til the end of the week! and it costs like £30 summit juss to get in!!! that dude knows i never have money and even when i do, its not enough. besides, i'm already going there in june so whats the point?? he should juss go with rob and max at april. i shoulda told him that but he went offline before i got the chance coz today was my bro's b-day and was busy.
which btw i hated what chris put on the b-day card 'fromblah blah & that person we don't like but have to love'!!!!!!!!!!!! thats gay! i hate them all!!!>:(

anywayz, i think thats all now. i'm getting tired and i realized i got college tomorrow. i kept thinking it was a weekend:(:(:( but yeh, need to get some sleep so ill write back. peace.

proxy sites

2007-03-28T00:13:00.001-07:00

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http://vil.mobi/
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http://www.proxbypass.com/
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http://www.mrsneakie.com/
http://www.myspaceunlock.com/

normal comments

2007-03-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

hey thnx for the comment.
nm u?
nm jc goign top sleep now its 2 am:P
im doing good besides thwe spliting headache:P
lol thnx...u got msn or yahoo? i hope ya got msn cuz yahoo sux on my conmputer lol well write me back.
ok i added u
yea same here.
i`m good and you?

hey sophie,i was just cheaking up on you miss ya ttyl<33
HEY SOPHIE U FORGOT TO FILL IN THE LAST ONE^_^
Do youhehe well can u tell me that im thinkin u are cute as hell? want to go to College: iam at college
Do you want to get Married: no
Do you belive in yourself: yea
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: YES VERRY BEUTIFULL.
WOW!!!!IM NUMMMBER ONE!!!LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
HEY YOU COMMENT MY PICS!!
im good whats your nummber??
umm..your nummber?? i havent talked ot ya in a looong time how u been?
YAY U GOT THE KINGDOM HEARTS 2 THEME ON YOUR PROFILE LOVE IT!!!
hey sis whats up? how was school?
heyy ash its your stupid head brother:P lol anyways messege me your nummber and ill call u in a few hrs ok? dont forget the area code this time love ya byes:)
hey sis...grrr whos the bf let me at em let me at em!!! lol jk how u been?
hey...umm why does your status say your marride??
hey sis u damn right i wanna chill we got alot to catch up on u gonna come around for sure? omg dakota is awsome i saw him yesterday he changed alot he says he cant wait to see ya...but i hhope u know none of that stuff wit u an him is gonna happin lol cuz yea protective feelings i have lol
hey wa sup sis?? well i think u will be geting the date we are gonna pick u up soon dad seems better so call your momma soon ok??luv ya
oo i see how it isd sis they be nummber one and two im three i see i see lol jk jk but anyways u needa call your momma pronto peace&love.
lol yea its colder then a witches titty outside
ehh not much jc how bout you?
ah thas kool...what ya buyin?
hehe i took this profiles comment virginaty hehehe
hey you its been awhile how are you?
hey whats up well juss leaveing u a comment i haven in awhile.comment on me pics damnit!~!!!!<33>
so are ya gonna comment me pics or what?
hey whats up? thnx for the add talk ot ya on msn:!!

hold the fuck up, u know what lil bitch, i dont even fuck with your dirty ass no more. your lil ugly ass wanna act funny toward me when i am suposed to be your friend, you start acting funny and acting like you dont kno me and shit but bitch thats kool even tho i thought i was yo homie but i see it aint even like that no mo, its kool, fuck you bitch. but before i end this let me tell you this..........

I jus saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico and pissed u the hell off with this joke!!!! tell me how mad u got...then..send to all ur true good friendz and see who gets the maddest...

hey ppl`s juss so ya know if im in this womans room and anyones perverted heheh i botch more then a woman would if she had psm during menapaus so yea peace.
hey alicia i miss ya give me a call sometime:(
GO LIVE!!!!
lol prolly cuz u did somethign she not like lol
aww u dont miss me:( lol i see i see hey alicia...whats up? please write me back.
hey u needa learn how to comment back.
hi.
hey u there? come top my fucking room if u are u got ten mins
ya thas what im saying ok im live so make it fast!!
hey hurry up or ima leave!!!
ummm im live where are u??
hey sis whats up?
GO LIVE
hey why u sign off whats your msn i forgot it!!! i got a new computer and evreything was deleted!!!
hey im live
hey meanie arnty u gonna coem into my room?
lol hey how come u got the same tunes i do!!!grrr lol jk u should comment on my tunes!!! lol
lol dont be srry they songs anyone can upload them im glad they are awsome aint they :-D dnt forget who ya got em from luv ya buddy ttyl
lol u dnt got to ask me to change your name or not dummy:P lol
yup yup but you are the musioc woman!!!!!!
cuz my other one was acting up
hmm it says u live and it says memmbers only for sum reson? and i am a memmber os idk why it not leting me in this sux:(
hey man im good i just been verry busy but im back now...i think messege me back l8ter
hey im off wendsday and thursday so hit me back if we can chill man.
wa sup dog?
yea i got yahoo but i like msn better lol iv beenm good u?
Hey wa sup? it was so nice talking ot u agian:) i cant wait to see u saterday:-D
yea i am lol listin ot the one winged angel song it gets heavy juss listin to it for a min or to lol its rad as hell.
lol yea i do i used to be into it heavley,but then i got into gothic for a few years an practicly forgot about it im gonna start back up i know only a few japaness words lol.but yea...so wa sup?
lol no i not been to school in 4 years allmost five let me tell u u think school sux lol well try being not at school its osooo fucking boreing but soon illl have me car then ill not be bored anymore:) well its late lol well not its erly lol so ima go to sleep and ill ttyl on yahoo peace.
LOL HEY SOUR GIRL IS A GOOD SONG IDC WHO YA ARE LOL
hey are u on yahoo??
hey wa sup? killer site but u allways got the awsome layouts keep it up peace.
WA SUP?
not much juss got bolt lastnight lol
im good i guess juss loveing music as allways lol,u how are u?
AWSOME AWSOME HAVE A GOOD DAY:)
lol thnx=P
hey whats up woman? not heard from ya in a long while
wa sup?
thnx:)
hey wa sup?
same jc u mind if i add u to my aim?
koolness
you damn right!!!!!!!!!!!!! im adding some more saongs as i type this.
wa sup? write me back.
lol naa man she talkin to me later srry bout yur luck lol anyways yea i got aim im me its slipknotbri666:)
hehe well thnx cute ass pic u got;)
woman u dont need to try=P
thnx u are verry beutifull so whats up?
y/w sexxy lady wa sup?
kool kool same here juss bored as hell u got yahoo right? would u mind if i addid u?
wa sup?
damn wa sup hottness?
thnx verry much...u not got yahoo do u?
damn that sux i got aim an yahoo msn would not work for me u got a webcam?
thnx im not even close to done.
so..u got yahoo im?
my yahoo sn is slipknot_metal_god666
LOL THNX WA SUP?
sure add me ill be on in a few u know my yahoo right?
hehe well can u tell me that im thinkin u are cute as hell?
lol wow omg howd u know?
well thnx lol i hope thas not u in that pic lol write me back.
lol what ya mean when u get a decent one?u got some?
wa sup?
good u?
hey beutifull thought id leave ya a comment peace.
hey i will hehe u like my pics huh? hehe
wa sup beutifull u like need to come back ot florida so we can chill.
hey heather its been a week or two whats up?
HEEEEYYYYYYYYY I MISS U TOOOOO ARE U ON YAHOO?????
hey beutifull whats up?
hey baby whats up?
hey baby whats up? i carnt wait to talk to u tomarows xxx
hey baby i miss u.
wa sup? hows cali?
lol hot as allways i hate it!!!!
lol tru it has snowed stormed here
lol nothing i cant get a job cuz i stutter so yea lol
well in about 5 months ima be 18 and ill be getin paid by goverment so yea:)
naa na it kool im not really a personal person so it kool:)
hey wa sup? srry i not been online for a few days...but im back:) but for how long idk:(( lol well my yahoo im is on my page so add me sometime;)
damn sexxy u should add more pics to bolt u hott as hell;)
imm doin good i guess u?
thnx i would say same but idk what u look like lol.
lol sure umm do u have yahoo messenger?
wa sup?
things are awsome with me!!!! see my pic? my gf came from ohio to be wit me hows u???
hey wa sup?
yo thnx for the comment wa sup?
damn...u are hot wa sup?
well then get yahoo? lol
well u got aim??
Hey wa sup? write me back peace
wa sup?
Thnx,wa sup?
wa sup?
same here jc bored as fuck!!!!
hey wa sup?
HEY I MISS YOU!!!!!
wa sup?
same shit diff day lol but good i guess..
wa sup?
pretty good how`s bout u?
wa sup man? like the shirt im a maggot but not been consederd one lol never been to a concert!!!!!
wa sup man? u got some good music.
lol dude,not to be mean or anything but u should leave some commentrs on the songs u make as favs man..anyways wa sup?
LOL LOL LOL HAAHAAAHAAAA LOL KOOL KOOL CANT THOUGH I DONT WANNA DAD MY DAD IS DEAD TO ME I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE THNX FOR THE FAVS THOUGH:)
wa sup?
thnx so whats up?
same here u mind if i add u to my myspace an aim?
oo sweet u like flyleaf to huh?
wa sup?
kool kool well ima im u on yahoo if u on if not write me back peace.
wa sup? u got any pics??
wa sup?
wa sup? lol yea thnx for the audio comment.
wa sup beutifull?
good jc its like 1136 pm tired lol ttyl peace.
pretty good u?
wa sup sexxy?
Hey wa sup? write me back peace.
wa sup?
LOL YES I HAVE BUT NAAA ILL PASS MAN IM STRAIGHT I JUSS DONT ROLL THAT WAY MAN ILL BE YOUR ONLINE FREIND IF THAS OK THOUGH?
lol yea man wa sup?
umm its not really any of your bussnies man srry
hey wa sup?
same same...damn your really beutifull:)
hey whats up sweet thing..no pics?well ima add u to my yahoo ttyl i hope peace.
umm wa sup do i know u?
hey baby go to my stickam here is the link http://stickam.com/profile/aaronlewis
hey whats up?
HI...WRITE ME BACK...IM PISSED.OH LIKE U CARE.?
wa sup beutifull?
what are u up to?
wa sup sexxy? names brian hit me back.btw sweet layout peace.
ahh seifer is that your real name or do u juss like ff?
well im a fan of ff so wa sup man?
thnx sweet site wa sup?
kool kool u are hott btw.
well lets see...work....work...work...umm...work lol and thas it ol what about u?
lol u gonna laugh your ass off...i work at steak and shake lol hey do u have aim msn or yahoo messenger?? i got all threee hit me back peace.
hey wa sup? remmber me?
could i call ya later beutifull?
hey beutifull love the new pics verry sexxy
hey man wa sup? remmber me?
umm u know devawndra yea?
yea wa sup man?
wa sup sexy?
hey wa sup? hit me back.
hey sexxy thnx for addin me;)
hey baby iv missed u soooooooooooo much im live on stickam
well u needa hurry up hey...u found your webcam yet??
sup?
yea...so whats up? me im just bored as hell u got yahoo or msn messenger?
yea it kool it kool dont be srry lol well..my names brian im 17 male from florida been here a few months i work at petsmart soon.
lol kool kool ill be 18 on august 27th so....what do u like to do in your spare time?
wow i love u lol iv meet someone like me im boreing to lol seriously i only talk online it suxc
tru tru well my msn is dark_prince_666_999@yahoo.com add me if ya want peace
wa sup? u the one that imed me on aim? if not oh well whats up? hit me back
thnx wa sup?
same same
hey wa sup?
thnx :) ima add u on myspace if thas aight wit u?
np im bout ot put up a new photo of me its clear i got a new webcam:-D
hey wa sup?
hey sexxy whats up?
sup? thnx for the fav.
sup? thnx for the add.
oo sweet yea i live in g ville u got a job?
wa sup cutie?
hehe u addid my profile pic as a fav:-D
hey comment on my new pics woman lol
HEYY U BETTER PUT MY NAME UP THERE!!!! LOL
hey beutifull whats up??
hey hun what are u up to??
hey im live on stickam
hey whats up? thnx for the pic comment write me back peace.
hey whats up? well write me back when u get the time peace.
hey u would not mind if i addid u to my myspace would u?
hey beutifull been a few weeks whats up?? i got some stuff to tell u hit me back miss ya
<99999999999>
hey babe i allready miss you!!!
HEY BABY I ,MISS UUUUUUUUUUUUUU
thas cuz megaherz rox dude!!!! wa sup?
who are u?
wa sup beutifull? im 18 today!!! finaly write me back peace.
sup?
heheh well im alowed now im single agian!!!!
lol ill tell ya later well if u like my pics then comment :P
NM JC LISTIN TO TUNES WITH MY UNC YOU?
lol im tlol thnx for the blog comment but i didint write those lyrics its a song called evreything by lifehouse its a six minut tune its sweet!!!.
oo high atm rain cheak???? lol whts up???
awww thnx!!:)
lol aww thanx and yea she is lol i remmber iv even heard her acting crazey remmber?? lol
lol hey u on aim??
hey i commented on your new pics i just put two more new ones comment k?
well...wtf u waiting for then???
HEY SOPHIE
oo i see im nummber 3 now its kool its kool
LOL YOUR awshome too!!:)
pfft its me and if it aint ill try to make it so:-D
hey babe i miss you allready...well ill beep beep u tonight ok? love you.
HEYYYY !!!!! I HAVE BEEN TRYING OT GET AHOLD OF U I MISS YOU!!!!
HEY BEUTIFULL
love you<3

i love you

2007-03-26T13:51:00.001-07:00

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bengali - Ami tomake bhalobashi (pronounced: Amee toe-ma-kee bhalo-bashee)
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cherokee - Tsi ge yu i (Thanks Nancy!)
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Elvish - Amin mela lle (from The Lord of The Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien)
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Frisian - Ik h�ld fan dy
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha Au Ia`oe
Hebrew (Thanks Lilach)
Hebrew to male: "ani ohev otcha" (said by male) "Ohevet ot'cha" (said by female)
Hebrew to female: "ani ohev otach" (said by male) "ohevet Otach" (said by female) Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek(Thanks D�ra!)
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
or
anata ga daisuki desu
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
or
Nanun tangshinul sarang hamnida
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Luxembourgeois - Ech hun dech g�er
Macedonian - Te Sakam
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Maltese - Inhobbok
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te iubesc
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra..dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,..,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Surinam - Mi lobi joe
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Thai (informal) Rak te (thx CAF!)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu di
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

funny convo

2007-03-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

this part i'm referring to what shes holding in her pic.

Afraid, to take a stand, you had one last chance, to make amends, now you'll pay, for your mistakes, it's your last day says:
beer?>>>
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
lol nooo
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
everyones thinking that
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
its cock
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
coke*
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
:|
Afraid, to take a stand, you had one last chance, to make amends, now you'll pay, for your mistakes, it's your last day says:
:|
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
COKE******
Afraid, to take a stand, you had one last chance, to make amends, now you'll pay, for your mistakes, it's your last day says:
lmao!!!!!!!
Hate is a strong word, but i really, really, really don't like you. Now that it's over I don't even know what I liked about you. says:
XD

pic comments

2007-03-18T17:20:00.000-07:00

damn love that look;)
lol nice beanie
wow...did it sting???
dude u look like aaron lewis of staind in this pic lol
damn you look soo fucking good in this pic your eyes are very beutifull lea.<3
hmm did your boobs get smaller? lol jk beutifull pic hun i miss uuuu
wow:o how u make your eyes like that?beutifull smile btw ttyl^-^
YEA YOUR FREIND UNDERNEATH ME AINT LIEING EITHER:)
awsome.
yea Seriously thats a good pic:)
did he die???if so that sux ass big time
hehe yall tow in loooove lol thas awsome pic:)
THIS IS JUSS AN ALL AROUND AWSOME PIC:)
IMA BE STRAIGHT WIT YA I WANNA SEE JUSS LIKE EVREYONE ELES BUT I WONT BEG;)
LOL IMA BE STRAIGHT WIT YA AGIAN NICE ASS SHOT;) PINK AN WHITE LOVE IT;)
wow u look nice in this pic:)
yea u are very beutifull:).
OMFG I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey lookin beutifull as ever...hit me back
hey hey hey!!!! i want some:(
lol lier:P
you look so beutifull:)
naa u dont look scary u look like a gothic princess.
damn your so beutifull.
hmm not far just to florida^_^
wow verry verry beutifull adrean(K)
hey you look diff...but still beutifull.
im glad your happy:-D
PFFT UGLY ASS MO FO:p
DAMN U LOOK LIKE U ABOUT TO HURT SOMEONE LOL EYES ARE CREEPY AND AWSOME!!
verry pretty smile:)
Red`s Shorts 100`s In a box my fav.
your verry beutifull:)
yea man she is awsome and i just meet her a hr ago!!
FUCK ALL THE HATERS....THEN THAT SHOULD BE TO LISA TO ILL TELL U WHY L8TER MAN PEACE.
hehe ill fuck wit ya boy.
HMMM...WHO U?? OOO ITS SAMMIE AND SHE ACTUALY HAS A FACE NOW I CAN PIECE TOGETHER THE VOICE AND FACE YAY!!!(BRIAN=DORK:p OH WELL
YA MOST OF YOUR PICS ARE VERRY BLURRY BUT OH WELL U LOOK EITHER REALLY TIERD OR STONED LOL
WOW....HE`S HOTT...NO I MEAN YOUR MOMS HOTT I MEAN...SIGHS: IM NOT MAKEING THIS ANY BETTER AM I?
goddamn hot and beutifull and gourguse there all such understatments....wow!!
THIS...PIC...IS....SO....AWSOME..!!!!...!!!...!!! GOOD JOBN STACY:)
daamn hey ladies wa sup??
wow i never knew they made a music video AWSOME!!!!
damn yall are all beutifull
hey nice ass`es
ONE OF MY FAV X SONGS AND VIDS .
hehe i like this pic:-D
i like this pic:)
oo damn that really sux:(
DAMN YOUR SOOO FUCKING BEUTIFULL HERE
DONT TAKE THE WHOLE BOTTLE!!!!!!
HEHE...
uh oh my baby looks pissed
about what?
aww theres my babys beutifull smile:-D
god u have no idea how badly i want your lips on mine.
heheh like this pic idk why.
hehe sex hair
RAWRRR<33
HMMM....WHATS WITH THE LOOK??? LOL
wa sup sexxy;)
theres that beutifull smile love ya.
lol u look agravaitid
lol and wheres that at?
AWW I WANNA HUG:((((( LOL
ya why did your dad take it??hmmm...oh nice ass btw.
cute smile:)
well thnk god someone did take it your verry beutifull ash.
hey if i was withen 45 miles of u,u would not be goin alone woman lol
u know u could comment on my pics to...?u commented on allens...
plus i commented on yours...
hehe my fav shirt;) HEY OTHER PPL BACK OFF!!! ttyl ash<33333
beutifull back then enven more beutifull now;)
lol your not serious are ya? lol
meanie make me a sighn!!!
yea u look much better with your hair short....its weird i allways thought u wouldent lol
BREATHS HARD:: WOW PANT PANT:: THAT WAS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!
llove this pic (blows kiss back) HAHA .:)
love you
KOOLNESS A BRAND NEW PIC...HEHE I LIKE THIS ONE SHOWES OFF YOUR EYES
hey smoke gwetin him some action:P thas my other half right there lol (lucky basterd)
THIS ONE IS KOOL CUZ OF WAY YOUR HAIR IS LEK TO THE SIDE KINDA...AGIAN BEUYIFULL.
sophie if these really are your eyes like...wow..those are sum beutifull eyes i wish i knew a word stronger then that but i dont.
this one looks like your juss wondering what to do wht to do lol
this is the best pic yet looking beutifull sophie<33
YOUR WELLCOME!!
idk why just the way your looking in this one makes me lkie wow lol
lol yw:P
hehe i like this one its like u saying shhh cuz your about ot do something devious.
heheh toughn heheh
i dout she will but ima take a shot at it...would u let me soppy??
ok ill keep hush hush about it
hehe u know damn right miss cloaths hanger hehehe
hehe thnx:-D
damn he hot....lucky bastwerd!~!!
lol wow whos that gees times i wish i was gay damnit!!
thas becuse she is younger in this pic lol
see this is why if u ever cut your hair i kill you.
HA....
NOOOOO!!!!
WE NEED TO TALK LIL GIRL!!!
WHA....I THOUGHT I WAS!!!!!:(:(:(:(
UMMM NO I AM:)
UMM NO SEE HEAD OFF MEANS NECK IS SPLIT WITH NO HEAD ON IT SO YEA LOOK MOUTH NECK ALL INTACT EYES NOT SO EYES AND TOP OF SKULL GONE NOT THE WHOLE HEAD"{
GRRR THAT BETTER BE THE ONLY THING YOULL BE KISSIN ALL UP ON LIKE THAT @@@@$%#%$%@%#$%
BORD MUCH:p
thats the 'i wonder where brian is' look lol.
AWWWW I MISS SMOKEY!!!!!!!::CRIES::
OMG I HATE YOU GRRR JAIL BAIT!!!!LOL JK LOVE YOU BEUTIFULL.
and you still look cute.
pfft please if that dog ever seen me it would prolly snap at you:P lol
no lol but i am gonna be geting a tougn ring soon though
i like this pic.
Beutimous?? OH OH U MEAN BEUTIFULL HEHE
heheh hey count me in three way kiss time!!!
like the view;)
damm punch me out why dont ya;)
cutie;)
hey whenever u do a photo in mirror turn around the other way rawrr;)
u so cute:)
it all blury?
hehe u know why i like this pic right?
HEHE LOOKIN ALL HOUSEWIFEY..HEHEwoman
HEHE OK WHEN WHERE AND HOW HARD??? LOL :)
ooo....so thats what you look like?? koolness...HEYYYYY!!!!!
:drools::
lol yea no shit
damn sophie your by far the most beutifull girl i know.
lol this is the look u allways gave me whne u were on cam(witch was weeks and weeks ago meanie!! nice pic thoughs<3
hehe...love ya;)
hehe white beanie brings out lips hehe..im retarted
u should take pics with the cam u took the other pics with its alot more clear but your eyes are beutifull in this pic still:)
hehe been awhile wheres that pic taken at??
haha im not lookin up at all lol
love the panta!!
grrr that sux i hate being bored!!!!
and im secretly on the other side :-D lol
PFFT EVIL MY ASS
GRR GET AWAY FROM MY SIS U LIL SHIT!!!!!! NICE SUIT BTW
hey..this pic is sexy good goin:)
I WANNA GO IN THE COOZY TOO!!!
no
hmm....idk for sure.....
jeez ok one at a time....WTF AM I SAYIN!!!!
aww theres my baby!!!and my sis!! hey get off kaylee!!!lol
hehe
what the fuck???who the hell is tht??
GRR I HATE THIS PIC!! LOL
aww you look very beutifull:)
GRR I KILL LOL WHY THR HELL DOES KAYLEE LOOK SO FREAKED OUT?? LOL
hehe yea awsome eyes:-d
Beautiful is not a strong enough word hun.
hey whts your nummber???
yea i hear she is crazey too:Pbut she dnt look that crazy lol
pfft south said here woman!!!
hmmm wonder why?? lol
damn verry beutifull.
this one has to be my fav pic:)legs and guitar heh
hahah cute and i know your jumping for me so ha
U LOOK LIKE A GANGSTA GYPSY LOL
where the fuck is your mouth and nose???!?!?!?!!??!
lemo....i like leo better i dont like the emo part:P
i still cant see your nose!!!
....
NO!!!
haha well i see two bumps hahaha
freaky lookin person thing person...
no i wont shut up so fuck you lol
pfft i see a headghog
i see a headghog agian!!!!
UMM THERES A BIG GREEN EYBALL ABOVE YOU RUUUNNN!!!!!!!
WA ZAAAAUUUPPPP!!!!
lol tru she aint that awsome but well i was the one on phone wit her in thta pic so ill have ot learn to get along wit her ass.
LOL U MEAN YOUR KICK ASS FREIND WITH KILLERS INTINTIONS AMANDA LOL BUT YEA SHE TIGHT SHE BE KOOL
i love this pic your eyes are like omg!!
DAAAMN U LOOK SO HAPPY...I STILL WANT TO BE YOUR BF THOUGH..???
AWWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
ooo pooffy lipege!!!
no youv allways been beutifull<33>

stuff to watch

2007-03-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

mudvayne all acess to all things
inuyasha

Update! Tuesdays officially suck

2007-03-09T13:24:00.000-08:00

right, well dunno how to start this, just thought i might do a lil update since i'm bored and stuff. so here goes.

my mum and dad are back now. they arrived on tuesday and i'm quite happy they're back coz now i can go back to living the lazy life and do no housework whatsoever and finally concentrate on college. but the bad part is living by the rules and getting less money. yep i'm back to £8 a day not the £80 i had before lol those were the times...
so yeh, they're back, good and bad. i'm just happy.

next thing; i officially hate tuesdays. tuesdays are my early classes and those classes start at 9am so i have to get the 7.51 train to my college. which means i have to wake up waaay earlier than i usually do. and i have to so i can meet up with rob and ramz. another thing is schoolkids, theres loads of em, coz i think they're school starts at 9 aswell so they're kinda in the same position as me but i'm in higher education lol coz i'm smarter and those retards arent. end of. that day i got 2 or maybe 3 bad encounters with chavs and sluts. 1. i was walking and some group of dudes called me a lesbain. 2. entering the station and these girls say somethin about my hair and call me a he/she or summit. 3. got loads of looks from the station to the actual train itself lol funny i get so much attention from a fringe. its fucking amazing. also, my train was stopped near reading for like nearly an hour coz of some chavs fucking shit up at hayes or summit. idk but it involved the police somehow but anywayz. that tuesday sucked and now i'm planning for my dad or whoever has the jeep to drop me off early at the train station. i'll be taking the 7.21 train there, as long as i'm early and theres no schoolkids about, thats fucking fine with me. i don't care how early i have to wake up, if it involves repeating that day again, i'm gonna go fucking ape.

another thing bothering me lately, i copy bulletins from ppl i think that are cool like Tyson (cool dude from youtube) and Miguel (one of my first myspace friends, also kool dude but can be OTT) i also copy brians but he never posts many these days. Tyson found out i was copying his bulletins like in the past month after adding him so he found out straight away. while miguel on the other posted a bulletin the other day saying i do copy his bulletins and i think he did find out before but never said it. so i blocked both of them but i still have them on another account so i can still steal their bulletins lol i'm so smart lol

next, idk if i mentioned this, but i really don't wanna leave my course. i've just gotten so used to it and had so much fun and memories so its too hard to let go. nearly everyone in my class has done their interviews and are ready to do their own courses while me on the other hand, i still need to apply for my GCSE pathway. this course consists of ICT, English, Maths (FFS!!!), Business and Humanities. i don't think i'm gonna enjoy it but its the only course i can take. then i don't know what i'm gonna do next. some life i have. but i take things at a time. all this woulda been earier if i was taking music lol but nooooooooooooooooo its not a suitable career and blah blah! fuck sake! do what you want! theres nothing wrong with it!! but yeh, i don't wanna blabber on anymore. my mum was forcing to shower ages ago and i still haven't done but whats the fucking point. i just showered last nite. but yeh, just a quick one i guess. sooo, i think thats all i need to say for now.
gonna finish off watching vids so i can finally get down to watching those animes:D blog to ya later. peace.

TIME TO KILL IS NOW

2007-03-05T22:51:00.000-08:00

The Time To Kill Is Now

[Music and lyrics by Alex Webster]

We see them coming a mile away
Gathered to kill on the desolate plain
No fear in our minds
Pure hate in our hearts

Miscalculation of our strength their bane
Take us lightly and we'll make you pay
Pride left them defenseless
No mercy for Hubris

[Solo: Pat O'Brien]

They rush to fight us and we stand and wait
Pulses quicken as they take the bait
Mere seconds to slaughter
We can wait no longer

Closing fast with their weapons high
Still believing it's we that will die
Now the ambush is sprung
Now they learn they were wrong
Now the killing will start
Tear the bastards apart

They thought it would be easy but now they're being crushed
Arrogance of power leaves them dying in their blood
There will be no mercy for these filthy sons of whores
The innards of my enemies impaled upon my sword
Many years we've waited for this final day of slaughter
Our victims are decapitated, their limbs are torn asunder
Careful preparation brought our haughty victims down
Our forces are at full strength and the time to kill is now.

Time to kill is now

Time to kill

They are all dead, it's their end today
All lost their lives in tremendous pain
Not one has survived
We left none alive

Do not doubt our conviction to kill
Hate on our side we will never fail
Now the killing will start
Tear the bastards apart
Strike the enemy down
The time to kill is motherfucking now

GHANIANS

2007-03-05T11:12:00.001-08:00

Ur Ghanaian when.......
1.U’ve drank Malt Before
2.Uve gotten money from tha adults 4 dancin at a party.
3.Ur parents still dance 2 tha electric slide at parties
4.Ur parents add “O” to tha end of every sntence: Shutup-O! Get me water O!
5.U’ve been told “Gyae Saa!”(stop that) or “Ko Na Ko Dware!"(go and bath)
6.U’ve been slapped 4 not greetin someone
7.U’ve gotten in trouble for giving an elder something wit ur left hand
8.U gotta call all tha older Ghanians u kno uncle or auntie even if they not related!
9.Ur parents talk HELLA loud on tha phone 'specially if its long distance
10.U get calls at 3 in tha morning from relatives askin 4 money
11.Ur parents ask “Why don’t u bring ur friends to ur own house?”
12.U kno who Daddy Lumba is
13.U been scared watchin the movies ur parents bring from back hme
14.There is always rice, fufu, or kenke' in ur house
15.Ur parents gt they,re he and she mixed up
16.If u find Cedis in ur wallet once in a while
17.Ur parents wanna call ur name but they call all ur siblings first b4 they get it rite!
18.A party starts at 6 and u sho up at 10
19.Uve had a family member stayin ova 4 long (like movein.....but not really)
20.U always hear ur parents say “Ah ah!”
21.When ur parents threaten to send u “back home” when u misbehave
22.U know exactly wut a "knock" is and how it feels
23.U always have maggi cubes in ur house
24.U gotta pronounce ur first or last name 20 times for people n they still don’t get it rite!
25.Ur laughin at this stuff cuz some of its happened 2 u

nothing planned ever goes right

2007-03-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

so i just got a call from my mum and dad saying there flight has changed to 5th of march instead of the 3rd so thats changed how my money is gonna work out because i thought tomorrow will be the last day i'll have to spend money but its not. let me tell you how my whole money thing worked out.

i realized way after i posted my last blog that i did the maths wrong and thought february was march and included the extra 3 days for my pocket money so all in all, after going out to the cinema with ramz, elwyne and joaquin i still had quite alot for the time i thought my mum and dad were gonna come back. but i got all excited and went overboard on wednesday with ramz because usually on a wednesday i don't see him at college but he called me during a lesson asking when i'll finish and he waited from then on and i finished early coz i finished my work early :p so i finished at 12 when my lesson ends at 12.45. so after me and ramz walked around shops, we went to kfc and ramz got the same meal as me, copy cater lol which was a 2 pc. corenal meal with an ice cream avalanche. i don't think i got the spelling right here...but anywayz! food was delish and we carried on going round shops and while we reached blackwells i checked to see if they had Cromartie High School manga and they did!!
(btw for those of you who don't know what Cromartie High School is its this anime i saw on Redemption TV or RockWorldTV idk wtf its called now lol but surprisingly they showed this anime on there instead of the usual live metal music and festivals and it was so bloody funny and awesome, i just fell in love with it first time watching it and wanted to watch more and know more of it since then)
so yeh carrying on, i wanted to buy the manga but it was £7!!! but i still wanna buy it coz i love it that much, if i find a site where i can read it for free then i can just leave it lol but i still wanna get it.
so moving on, ramz had to get a class at 4.15 so walked to me to the station at 4. ooo! but before then, while we were on our way there we got approached but this girl and while we were walking towards her she was staring at us and ramz was like 'ooo shes hot' but she spoke to us and we were like 'woah' this girl had like messed up hair, a diamond on her tooth and smudged make up and ramz still called her hot! lol but she was asking us for money and she was like gonna break into tears coz she said she never really asked for money before and we kinda felt sorry for her. she was asking for money coz she needed a train back home coz she lost her wallet or something and i was asking ramz if he had money and thank god he did coz we sooo wanted to help her out!! she needed 3.50 but ramz gave her £4 and she was grateful and walked to the station with us. it was kool to help out but sometimes i don't trust those sorta ppl but she was ok...and cute i guess...lol

anywayz, moving on, i spent some money on tuesday after college at kfc with derek, jerrin and ramz (came at the last min lol). i bought a fillet meal and i never wanna buy one again! its ok but it has a weird taste so i think i'll stick with colenel meals this time. while on the way to kfc, ashton was walking with us in the rain and omg she is so funny to walk with! i never realizied how funny she could be, i didn't think that way before back in st.joes but shes hilarious with her chavvish ways.

also on wednesday i spent money for lunch. on monday i didn't buy anything coz at that time i still thought i didn't have enough money for the whole week but i did. and now today (or yesterday considering its friday now) chris came in my room and told he was going out to a mates, my other bro was in college and so was his fiance so i was gonna be home alone and he asked me if i wanted anything and i said food and he left me £6.90!! i didn't spend all of it in the end, i bought some drinks, a pizza, toilet paper for the house so that left with £2 something so i got like £4.65 for pocket money tomorrow.

so when i got the call from my ma and pa, they said i had to get money from my bros for college, chris gave alan like £200 something for insurance to pay and stuff and i can't get my money til sunday and idk how much i'll get but i want £30 just incase my mum and dad further out they flight even more!!! it'll be more than enough and i probs might be able to get that manga i want :p but i just hope i do get that money or at least something to go to college with!! but anywayz, its nearly half 1 in the morning and i need some sleep for college so i'll blog another time. y'know i might be doing video blogs soon now that i got a cam or i can use my webcam and use that new live thing they have when u can record life but thats if i'm ever alone in the house lol my bros will think i've gone psycho. anywayz!!! i'm blabbering! gotta go! later.

oh and heres a lil' vid of the time i was walking with ashton and derek, enjoy...

and some entertaining music i found while arriving at reading station

and also also, i got a new sweatband while i was out with ramz, we went to billabong and saw these 2 bam sweatbands with heartagrams on them and we sooo wanted to buy them(i didn't know ramz liked bam but moving on!!!) it was £3 for 2 and we halfed the money and got them and heres a pic!

i'm so hot *said in paris hilton voice* XD

omg i keep forgetting to mention stuff, but another also, is that my mp3 broke. yup after 2 years with this technika 256mb mp3 player for £15 at tescos, and losing its usb cover, the battery cover falling off many times, dropping it many times and changing it with so many headphones that it cost more than the fricking mp3 and spending loads and loads on batteries to keep it going annnd losing the usb thing to connect it so had to borrow charlottes (sarah's sis) which i kept since then lol yes its actually broken, well not into peices but its like if i press play, it goes all spazzy. theres been problems with it before like after i finish putting songs it cuts off to another, and when i'm walking, it switches on and off or goes on to this really annoying sound. so yeh, in a way i'm glad its gone but it broke at a bad time coz i was walking to the train station while it did. so when my mum called me i asked her if she could get me a new one and she said she will. so i'm hoping she will, she might not but i have so much hopes that she will coz i cannot live without music!!! i hate hearing ppl breathe, cough, talk, etc. it pisses me off. and i actually have to listen to ppl bitching about me. its stupid. but yeh i gotta wait til my ma and pa to come back and see what happens. if they don't have one i'm gonna go ape!!! >:(

anywayz gotta get ready for college, ttyl.peace.

today was so fricking crazy!!!

2007-02-25T02:21:00.000-08:00

so yeh i'm doing another blog. another intresting day for me then. today started off as any other normal day. woke up, turned on my computer, checked my stuffs and started watching movies. while i was doing a bulletin on myspace and loading up a chucky movie i get a call from elwyne and i didn't know wtf he wanted, or seeing if i had college or something but thats stupid when its a saturday?!?! so yeh carrying on with the conversation, i'll try to type it in a different format to make it look easier. these may not be the exact words but yeh, whatever...

me: hello?
elwyne: hey anne
me: yeh what u want?
elwyne: are u coming today?
me: coming to what?
elwyne: to cinema to watch blood & chocolate with joaquin and ramz
me: WHAT THE FUCK?!? since when did this happen?
elwyne: idk ramz and joaquin were talking on msn last nite and planned it
me: i didn't know!!
elwyne: oh...um..ok..
me: well on monday when joaquin was planning to go to reading when he didn't, ramz did say to him on the fone that 'lets plan something for the weekend' but i didn't know they were serious about it
elwyne: ok, so are you coming then?
me: idk! i'm not even ready and stuff!
elwyne: don't matter we can wait
me: argh! but like i don't know how much money i can spend coz i need most of it for college
elwyne: well if u don't wanna come thats ok

i can't remember what i said on that point but he had to call joaquin later on and he called me back 20 mins later. after alot of thinking i finally decided to come considering i had nothing else to do. i checked the time and it was heading round half 9 (in the morning!!!) so i got ready as quickly as i could but the most annoying thing was doing my hair, it just wouldn't stay in place! i combed it for ages and ages and it just wouldn't stay right. i went all angry on it twice!! and i had to straighten it twice and after half an hour on my hair, i got my things and checked the time again and it was nearly 10!!! so i rushed out the fucking house, walking as fast as i could with my torn up shoes and i was aiming to get the 10.21 train there so basically i had 21 mins to get there and i kept saying to myself i'm not gonna make it but eventually i did thanx to the 2 minute delay lol i couldn't believe my luck...well stuck on a train with 2 bimbos and a loud ass crack head wasn't lucky but i got the right train at least!
i got a call earlier from elwyne asking where i was and before he said we'll meet up at burger king but then he changed it to Blackwells so i had to walk further. so i got there, met up and we walked straight to the cinema which i have never been to before. it looked amazing, waaaaaaaaaay better than slough, bracknell or maybe even maidenhead from looking at it. i took pics and shit while i was there, ppl might've thought i was some tourist or something lol but carrying on, we bought the tickets and the tickets costs more than slough, without a student discount its £6.95 and with is £5.45 and i payed that still! just because they're cinema is better doesn't mean it has to be more expensive!!! lol so anywayz, we went back to town and decided to go to poundland to get some food like me and ramz did coz it was cheaper and it was so hard to decide what to get for these guys coz elwynes allergic to chocolate, joaquin got a different drink and ramz just wanted anything lol ohh and joaquin and elwyne kept begging for dorittos ¬_¬ we spent £5 sharing our money between us but i ended up paying nothing for it lol and headed back to the cinema. we were a bit late coz joaquin had to go to Game to buy a ...game lol and poundland was a bit far from the cinema but eventually we made it, just when the trailers and adverts were still showing and enjoyed the most funniest movie ever!!! Hot Fuzz!!! now u maybe asking, why didn't i watch blood & chocolate which i really wanted to!!! but ramz was gonna watch the movie with emma and i watched enough horror movies with elwyne and joaquin before so it was good to try something different for a change. after the movie, we had to head back home, coz elwyne was going round joaquins house and ramz had to head home but he had to buy some stuff for his mum again lol we were looking around for cd cleaners and thanx to me choosing woolworths to go to get some, we found one and left. its kool walking around with ramz and just talking about random stuff with loads of ppl around us but thats what makes our conversation fun lol so after we got the thing, ramz was rushing to get his 2.50 train and the time we arrived was 2.45, i told him i wanted to get a lil munch on the train but considering he wouldn't of made it if he did come with me, i told him to go and see him next week so he gave me a quick hug and left while i got a snack to go XD

all in all through this day i spent probs all my pocket money! coz i done some maths on how much money i would need for the train and how much money i would have for pocket money. and i don't wanna put the whole working out on here but it doesn't look good for me tbh. i spent £5.60 for the train, £5.45 for the cinema, 45p for elwyne and £1.35 for the snack on the go. and thats around £11 or more. buuuut i found some spare change around the house, i don't think it will last me til the 3rd of march but its something at least! so elwyne still owes me money. annd i'm gonna get this money once i finish :p

but yet again, all in all i had fun and i haven't joaquin in ages and his hair is bloody long! lol i had fun and it was great day for the usual boring weekend

and just when u think that was over, i got a comment from my friend greg that lives like a minute away from me (his house is just in front of mine) asking if i wanna go round his to play on his xbox, eat and listen to music. i agreed and he said i had to knock for him coz he was scared of my house and my bros??? lol but i told him to knock for me and he said hes coming back from something in an hour so i got ready and waited. i saw ppl coming in and out his house but i didn't hear my doorbell ring one bit other than chris and caz. so i was annoyed about that, idk if he was asking if it was gonna be today, or tomorrow or some other day but obviously it was yesterday (coz this is the following on from that day) but yeh i was annoyed and i got ready for nothing and stayed in for the rest of the day. i don't expect him to knock for me at all but argh i don't wanna talk about it now. i'm hungry and i wanna get that money already so i'll blog another time. peace.

OHH MY GAYYY LONG TIME NO BLOG!!!

2007-02-23T15:53:00.000-08:00

fucking hell! it seems like ages since i last posted a blog on here!!! i kept telling myself i need to blog coz theres so many kool stuff happening. i think i have a life now so i don't need to lol but considering i'm bored out of my skull i might aswell. first off; i'm talking to my mum now, well not personally. thing is, she went back to philippines last wednesday coz she got a call saying the doctor said that nanay had 48 hours to live and as soon as my ma heard it, she got the first flight there and went without saying goodbye lol i just came back from the cinema with ramz that day and i was expecting that she might've found out coz i saw chris when i was there so he might've told my mum and apparently she left while he was still away. it came as a bit of a shock, i didn't really know how to react. like i've been annoyed with nanay ever since shes been acting this way, first i thought it was attention but then it got worse and now...shes gone...of course i miss her but its just...something unexpected..in one way or another, it was obvious it was gonna happen but its just...fucked up! it sux. but i don't wanna get to dramatic over it. i know this is gonna be a big blog so might aswell get straight to the subjects.

a couple of days without mum and it was ok, i had takeaways non-stop. i think that was the only good thing but then there was housework and thats where i come in. i had to do ironing, hoovering, washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, bathroom, etc. i had the most chores. the only ones i can't do is cooking and washing clothes. it was so annoying though coz dad kept trying to force me to do them when i done everything else in the house and i know i gotta learn at some point but i got enough chores as it is!!! and he kept annoying me about it and at the time i was on my period so i got pissed and snapped and went to my room. but my dad was ok later on and asked if i wanted pizza but didn't get any in the end coz they all fell asleep so i ended up making pasta lol!

carrying on, days after my nanay died, my mum called one night at 1am and talked to my dad for hours!! this monday when i came back from college, my dad tells me that hes going to philippines aswell. and i was kinda expecting this coz my mum told me that he was gonna come if nanay died and he did. so now its a parent free house which is a good thing, no parties though coz i'm stressed enough as it is cleaning up after 2 pigs. and my bro's fiance coming over every couple of days! so its been a parent free house since then and will be til the 3rd of march. my dad left me £80 for college and shit and i'm going so overboard on it!!! lol i don't even know if i'll have enough to go to college by the time they get back lol! i buy alot of shit now, elwyne introduced me to tops pizza which is 10 mins away from my college and they got this cool deal for £2 for a 7'' pizza and a drink. i always go for pepporoni and extra cheese coz they're one of my favourite toppings :D and after college when i'm walking with my friend, we go to greggs and i always buy a pizza baguette and a lil something on the side. before i had a chocolate flaky donut which was ok but the creamy creme cake or whatever its called lol is deliiiiiiiiiiicious!!! i had it today and it was awesome. that for £1.70! defo worth it. so yeh i done some maths and apparently i think i got £18 or summit left til my mum and dad get back so idk if i can keep that up but i'll try at least :| but yeh, money done now lets get to the past!

a couple of weeks ago, i had a tuesday off and i planned to go out with elwyne on that day coz he was the only one i knew that was free but apparently at the end, his dad made him do something else and i didn't hang out with him in the end and considering i had to make it look like i was going to college, i went to slough by myself and by that i mean walking all the way there and back! lol. i had like £8 to myself so i went to sainsburys first and bought my fave gel, fruitcus gel of course and nivea pure deodarant and there was a special offer on the gel. i think it was 2 for 1? i'm not sure but i ended up paying £3.88 in the end which was not bad. so i carried on walking and i finally reached slough, i first went around the whole place, went to hmv, listened to music and shizz and then went to poundland to buy some batteries then walked around again and went to the toilet and this is one of the amazing things that happened and which i never expected. while i went to the toilet, i found a curry's bag hanging on the door. i was wondering if it was just rubbish or someone still in the toilet left it there and was waiting to pick it up but no one was there so i checked to see what was in there and it was quite heavy and i looked and it was digital camera!!!! with a memory card and camera holder! i couldn't believe it! i already had a digi cam but it was my bros aswell but omg!!! a digi cam!!! lol!! i took the damn thing man!!! who wouldn't? i took the risk! coz the person that left it in there probs was waiting for me to get out and get it or ask me if i had it but didn't! i walked out with a fucking brand new camera in my bad! it was great! i know its stealing but fuck sake! someone else could've taken it and made it theirs. after that, i got some kfc and went back home and found out that the camera was £160!! and the person that bought it was at crosthwaite road or summit. but i didn't care. i just felt sorry for the fact that she spent that much money and left the fucking thing in the toilet for me to take!! haha! omg the things u can find in a toilet, ey? haha! aww i'm so happy! the camera is brilliant, it can actually take videos with sound unlike the other one, 6.0 megapixels when my old one was 3.2. its just sooo kool. heres a pic of it..

pretty good, ey? :p

so yeh, carrying on with the past...

i had a catch week last week. which means that if u get a letter saying u have to come in anytime in the week, then u go in. for everyone else, it was a half term but i considered this to be an opportunity to go out with some mates while my mum gave me the usually £32 for the week. on monday i went bowling/play pool/play arcade/go around shops/eat and chill in maidenhead with steph, liz and lisa and i saw sarah and kerrie, i don't wanna go into details of how it went but it ended up being awkward, i just ran in the shops with lisa and liz and just waited for them to fuck off. liz was really kool with it though, she totally understood the situation and was telling me she went through the same thing. but yeh after that, i ended spending half my money lol and then went onto tuesday! which i spent round lisa's house, eating sweets, drinking coke, watching a movie and playing around on her laptop. wednesday (aka valentines day) i spent with ramsey. yes i know what ur thinking but i swear we didn't know it was valentines day when we planned it but yeh, we ended up watching epic movie which was sooooooooooooo funny! we bought alot of food for £4 in poundland! lol a big packet of monster munch, dairy milk chocolate, butterkist popcorn and a pepsi 4 pack. and we ended up paying £3.50!!! coz of student discount!!! lol it was so kool. after that, we looked around shops and got really bored. ramz told me later on that he had to be back home at half 4 to make it look like he actually went to college aswell and it was 1pm!!! so we were walking around, trying to think of what to do or whos house we can crash lol til i thought of brenda so i called her house fone and her sister picked saying she was at the slough libary and considering we were walking near it, we hauled our ass there and i saw her!!! it was great finally seeing her after sooo many months and sooo many calls lol i saw michelle and her sister aswell annnd emmanuela, lol we hugged sooo many times it was great X) i took alot of pics with my nuuuuu camera lol it was great having a conversation with brenda but not with ramz interrupting with something random each time lol and some random lady that was sitting with us was included in the coversation aswell lol so random. so once they finished, it was just about to reach 4pm and jennifer wanted to go so we walked around some shops for a bit and brenda had to go home, she didn't wanna walk all the way so she asked her mum for a lift and she had to meet up with her mum at tescos so i said goodbye to mich,jenn and the rest of them and walked with ramz and brenda to tescos. brenda didn't wanna talk coz she was hauling her ass there!!! lol but we ended up waiting 10 mins for her mum to come anyway lol once she finally got picked up, me and ramz went round tescos, he withdrew money to buy some stuff for his mum and he had enough to buy some donuts and a drink for moi (which i had to pay back later in the week lol) it was kool just sitting there and talking. we finished around 5pm and he got the bus and i took the train back home. it was a great valentines day. i spent it with not just 1 but 6 great ppl and i thank them for that day alot. on friday, me and brenda planned to go cinema but apparently she already had to go to cinema on saturday so she couldn't go cinema on 2 days coz its too much money so i ended up spending my friday at home and having £6 left by the end of the week lol

so that was last week, this week, i think i already explained but omg! on monday! i always wanted the complete meal they had at kfc for £3.99 and i finally got it!!! thanx to my dad giving me £10 for the whole of monday! it was awesome! it was definitely worth my money!!!heres a pic of my gorgeous meal :D

so yeh, i think that sums up whats been intresting these past couple of weeks.

heres some vids of the madness

and my blog is done
adios

one of those bad days you have to do a blog about

2007-01-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

y'know i dunno how i stopped using this site. probs coz theres not much intresting things happening and its not worth writing about considering i got so many blogs now. but today is something i wanna let out.

wednesdays never been my best days. from the past wednesdays i've had recently its been the shitest day of the week and espicially this one which i'm about to tell u.

it started off with asking my mum for pocket money. yesterday i took £10 off the table coz it was for my pocket money. and my mum was still asleep at the time and i couldn't be bothered to ask her if it was mine or not but i just took it anywayz. and i knew myself that i always have to give £2 back, and now that i'm paying adult it leaves me with even less money than i had before (espicially when the ticket prices have gone up by 40p). so basically i get £1.80 a day? coz the train ticket is £6.20.

but yeh, i was arguing with my mum coz i spent the whole of that £10 for extra food coz she don't give me much lunch. and i was telling her it would make more sense to give the full £10 instead of taking £2 everytime coz it don't make much differance. so i ended up with £6.60 leaving me only enough money to buy a chewing gum and 29p crisps on the way home.

that was the first bad thing, 2nd bad thing was my train being delayed and me waiting at the train station for an hour in the freezing cold (i allowed the snow though) so there i was shivering for an hour and the train that finally stops is packed and i mean seriously packed. every cart ppl was standing up! so i left that one and waited for the next one which i finally got a seat on! and the rude thing was when i asked if the 1st train that came was going to reading to the ticket dude he was shouting, 'of course it bloody is! it says it on the bloody screen!' errr... i don't think 'please stand clear of the platform edge' is telling me where i'm going.

so 2nd thing. 3rd thing was not being able to go to the chinese restaurant me and my mates planned coz i didn't have enough money.

4th thing and i know this sounds stupid but not getting any points. we had to do this thing where we pick out words and put them in a sentence and we get a point for each one we put in the sentence and i got all 8 but the thing is the last 3 ppl (who were late) got extra points?! and i know i'm not the only one who didn't get points but thats a bit unfair and leaving ppl out which is a really bad feeling. but yeh don't wanna think about it.

i guess thats it. other than the usual ppl staring at you and walking back home in the freezing cold. i'm glad my day off is tomorrow so i can try to relax and forget about the whole day.

i need to catch up on sleep. really exhausted and been sleeping til 1am for the past 2 days!

later

finally back from holiday

2007-01-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

this is a holiday i didn't really want to go to
a holiday i thought was gonna be a waste of my time and shittier than the last
well tbh i can't really describe it. it was bad but sometimes good at the same time.
i got to go out quite alot, SM mainly, went to the mall of asia, first time seeing my cousin's band and also meeting her hot office mate while there. Theres so many stuff, i didn't even go somewhere far but still managed to have a bit of fun.
The reason why i was so worried i wasn't gonna enjoy this holiday was coz there was already a family problem and not many ppl were visiting coz they were scared my mum might have a go but a week before i was gonna go, they managed to visit which was alright i guess. a few cousins i rather not see ¬_¬

but yeh, theres so much of my holiday i can talk about but it'll end up taking days typing it all. the first thing i wanted to as soon as i arrived there was leave and now that i'm finally home, i miss my cousins like crazy (and i only mean my closest cousins) i miss my dog back there and i just miss the time of going out alot coz i'll never have it as much i have it here. but now that i'm back, i'm missing my cousins which always happens every year. it takes a while getting over it but i still can't help myself.

my mum is going back there by herself this march for her mum's b-day and apparently my bro is going with his fiance there this summer and by the time its december hes gonna stay at home and it'll just be me, my bro and mum & dad?! i dunno how thats gonna work out but it sounds a bit fucked up.

but yeh, i got an issue since coming back
remember that dude that caught me with a child ticket and wanted to fine me but said he wouldn't, well ta da! got the letter! and its fining me £45!
how da fuck do you expect me to pay that when i explained to him i have no job, i only get money from my mum and dad. it said i had 10 working days to pay for it but the day the letter was sent was december 13th and i just arrived 2 days ago.
so now i'm worried, i don't know if they came to the house and tried to pay it in hand or have my face posted around the train stations. I don't even know if they're gonna remember it or forget it which i doubt! i'm gonna pay adult fair now (which i shoulda done). at least let me pay adult tickets til the fine is paid off. thats the least i can do.

aww man i just hope they're not gonna notice me at the train station. i just wanna go college and get the fuck out everyday! seriously.

anywayz, i'm upgrading my computer at the mo, seeing if i can get the new windows vista. and i also need someone to remote assist my comp coz its as slow as hell and theres still 87% of memory left! stupid. and i can't sleep coz i keep thinking about my cousin and even when i try to sleep its always under a minimum of 5 hours. thats not gonna help when i got college tomorrow! man, this sucks.

y'know i didn't even get my i-pod, i didn't even get a fricking christmas present! i had to buy my own shit! i got a headset, a couple of band t-shirts, new headphones, new fone, new studded belt, new cds and a few stuff i got at an arcade. OOO! i even got a big pucca soft toy and a facetowel! haha i wonder what jono will say to that :p
but yeh, i think i'm getting my i-pod here coz its more cheaper. alan got his on ebay for £20 so i'll just see what happens. it might be a b-day present or summit or a lil' something when my mum goes to phili in march :P

and man, the flight really wasn't that bad even though i hate it when ppl move their seat back, i only have to do it when they do coz i don't wanna squash the persons face back behind me! but yeh, this flight was good, the food was ok, but the source of entertainment in front of you was even better, u got to watch so many movies (new ones! not old), programmes, games, a personal playlist where u select tracks off cds in the selection. it was kool. even at the stopover Doha on my way back, u got to use internet there for free but they had no chairs so that obviously was crap and my ears popped like 3 times!¬_¬

but i'm hoping to go to philippines this december coz my cousins from america are going on that month and i haven't seen them in 3 years so it would be awesome if i could go. besides, the only reason why we went this december instead of summer was coz my mum went on march and then quit her job and my bros just got jobs then so there we were. so i'm hoping i go this december again, hopefully be more fun than this year.

anywayz, i said i didn't wanna make this a long blog but i can never be right, right? lol

songs to download

2006-12-11T05:51:00.000-08:00

Breaking Benjamin - Medicate
Breaking Benjamin - Breakdown
as blood runs black - intro
Breaking Benjamin - Topless
Cold - 13 Ways To Bleed On Sta
Cold - Stupid Girl (My Life is Long Remix)
Cold - Suffocate
Drowning Pool - The Man Without Fear

why's it always about the hair???

2006-12-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

its been since april since i've done my hair
and alot of ppl take it the wrong way and make alot of ppl immediatley say shit!
i've said this before, its not coz i wanna be scene
its coz i wanted a fricking change!
it was something i wanted before this whole 'scene' thing evolved
having the same hair for over 3 years was bothering me so i had to!

everywhere i get looks, stares, whispers even loud ones lol, they're funny

'slutty girl says what.....wat?!' lol

but yeh, i'm used to the ppls looks, it just gets boring, i'm like a walking museum!

i'm getting my hair cut soon and i'm keeping my hair (the fringe will be shorter coz i can hardly see shit!)

and i am looking forward to getting more stares overseas lol

;)

Use My Third Arm-PanterA

2006-11-30T00:43:00.000-08:00

Use My Third Arm-PanterA
	Enlight your sense of thought, of touch, of real, a shield, An underground for this coward. Building a blood in water scent. It's like some raping, without judgement. Boy in a pocket. Balls in a bag. Serve and Protect you. His dick his gun, his brain his badge. A faster way to kill them all would take too goddamn long. Absorb through pores the great escape. Kill that fuck to show him up. Equal his displeasure now. Stab his Ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for. Ourselves. Arm yourself. A branch. A third arm. Extend your health, Crawl inside euphoria. Building a blood in water scent. It's Like a scraping. It's entrapment. Boy in a pocket. Balls in A bag. Perverted handle. His getting by is a fisted fuck. A faster way to exterminate them takes too fucking long. Absorb through pores the great escape. Kill that fuck to show him up. Equal his displeasure now. Stab his ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for. Ourselves. Half assed for most his life. Piss poor little ham. NARO boy- A fake fuck limp dick. Sucking up to the man. And the world. We need a fucking cold war.

Use My Third Arm-PanterA      

Enlight your sense of thought, of touch, of real, a shield,
An underground for this coward.
Building a blood in water scent. It's like some raping,
without judgement.
Boy in a pocket. Balls in a bag. Serve and
Protect you. His dick his gun, his brain his badge.
A faster way to kill them all would take too goddamn long.
Absorb through pores the great escape. Kill that fuck
to show him up. Equal his displeasure now. Stab his
Ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for.

Ourselves.

Arm yourself. A branch. A third arm. Extend your health,
Crawl inside euphoria. Building a blood in water scent. It's
Like a scraping. It's entrapment. Boy in a pocket. Balls in
A bag. Perverted handle. His getting by is a fisted fuck.
A faster way to exterminate them takes too fucking
long. Absorb through pores the great escape.
Kill that fuck to show him up. Equal his displeasure now.
Stab his ass, a reminded past of what the fuck we live for.

Ourselves.

Half assed for most his life. Piss poor little ham. NARO
boy- A fake fuck limp dick. Sucking up to the man.
And the world. We need a fucking cold war.

the good, the bad and the ugly immigrants making life hell

2006-11-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

long time no blog, ey?
well not that long but so much shit has happened it feels long
well i guess instead of the usual week at college, walking past complete strangers but they look at you like ur someone well known. i fricking hate it now, i think one good part of having my hair like this is not being able to see most of these weird ass looking ppl.
i only see half, seeing the full package is beyond disgusting.

Hey! don't be laying shit on me! u see the way these ppl look at me and sometimes they actually say shit, its quite pathetic coz i can even hear them even when listening to music!!!

oh plz speak louder about me? i really need the full detail of why u think i'm so intresting to talk about

but yeh, enough about that, i got my whole life and the whole world doing that shit so fuck it. but its not my fault they're a bunch of shallow motherfuckers that have never better to stare than their own private area.

fucking nob jockies

anywayz moving on
something that happened today
that happens to me quite alot
and i have typed in blogs about

is train inspectors

they've become my worst enemy
and i fucking wanna kill the one that caught me today with a child ticket

now i know its the rule now to get an adult ticket when ur 16
but wait a minute...

ur 16
how da fuck are you an adult when ur 16?!?!
ur still a fucking teenager!

i know when ur 16 u get to do more better and bigger things

but anywayz, back to the story

just passing maidenhead, i was there looking out the window watching fast blurry images before my eyes til a train inspector comes in and i thought it was just one of those ppl that look at ur ticket and go but no, this was one that actually looks at ur ticket and inspects every fucking minor detail!

so in a way i was worried, and another i was thinking, 'hmmm no big deal i got away with this before'
but we're not in the past anymore anne-marie lol

nearly at twyford, the inspector stopped at a certain person for quite a long time and i coulda sworn this dude was in trouble.
i even heard the words 'arrest' coming from the inspector!
i dunno what he done but ffs! i got scared!
the ppl next to me were impatient and wanted their tickets checked and over with but i on the other hand wanted to open the sliding doors and get the fuck out!
once we stopped at twyford the ppl that sat near me left, free of no expection and it made me wonder...'why didn't i go to college at twyford?' coz what happened after that stop...the inspector finally moved on and checked all the other tickets and once he reached mine he looked at it and asked 'how old was i?'
of course i didn't wanna make the same mistake last time and say i was 15 and make the person ask for id, my contact details, address, etc. but i honestly answered 16 and he went boozoo (random word...don't ask) on my ass.

i explained that i didn't have enough money and he was still asking me to pay adult but finally reaching to an agreement, he took my out ticket then made me write in his book my address and college??? dunno why he asked for my college but yeh whatever, he asked for id aswell and i gave him my citizen card. he called on his mobile reporting it and the citizen card didn't have my full name, it had Anne. but i was like, 'yeh whatever'! i was that desperate to get away, i was thinking of putting a fake address but i'd probs be in more trouble considering hes already got my details from my citizenship card.
but yeh, he was gonna fine me but he let me go which is one good thing he done and when we finally reached reading, he had to guide me to the gate and let me in and before i left he said, 'they'll be watching' and i knew he meant the computers which i think is what he called the thing on his mobile, i think they put my name or something on it and then keep an eye on me. So now after that, its left me paranoid and worried about the letter thats gonna be sent at my house and i dunno when and its getting to me really bad. I've never stopped thinking about it til now and i've just gone completely insane seriously. The letter might arrive tomorrow morning while i'm at college and god knows if mum will see it coz she always reads any letter even when its not addressed to her.

its just the fact that they don't know i still buy a child ticket coz they always thought i paid adult (considering they give me £32 a week or more), theres just no way out of it. no excuse. nothing. and i have to buy adult tickets from now on but i can't just yet...

i know its a risk but i need to save that money before i go!
that man seriously had no regard, sure, he left me with a just a warning and report but god knows what mum will do once she reads that report, i might not be able to buy anything at holiday or no pocket money at all.

right now i have £8.95
i can actually buy an adult for tomorrow
and it will leave me with £3.10
but then i got buy another train ticket for friday
and my mum will only give me £2 on that day which will make it £5.10 which isn't enough coz the adult fare is £5.70 or £5.85

so there
i have to buy a child ticket for the next 2 days for college otherwise i won't be able to go to college!

now u may think, just get child
but no
past 2 days these ticket ppl have been roaming the trains and espicially mine inparticular

monday return = asian worker hole punching tickets
tuesday return = african negro cocksucking money grabber

and god knows if he'll be there tomorrow
or some other immigrant that has no sympathy.
who knows...but i'm taking the rish not coz i want to
but i have to

i hope i can sleep on it but i doubt i can forget about it.

and now for the other stuff

my bro got a new digi cam and i tried it out and got some pix
he says he doesn't like it and he wanted a proper digi for like £200 (mum went all pyscho trying to save his money even though he earns £1000 a week - so she made him buy the cheapest digi cam for £34 - which is the one i wanted!)
but yeh i tried it and it ain't bad
you can take videos but theres no sound which probs ain't bad but the pic quality is brilliant.
my bro said he'll give it to me once he gets his own proper one so hopefully that'll be soon X]

also my generous bro wants to get a jack daniels t-shirt
and u get those at the music store doing special offers
hes given me £20 coz you can get 2 for £20
and i'll be getting one for myself and its out of the 'vote for pedro' t-shirt or stewie and i love both so i'll decide when i'm there.
i can only get it if theres a small size for the jack daniels and if i can get a large size t-shirt, i don't even what size in shirt i am! lol but yeh hopefully i can rid of my band t-shirts for one day and wear a proper funny one lol

so yeh thats whats making me a bit happy
also my classmates and good ol' rob having a lil bitch fest about sarah haha!

and good thing about tomorrow is....
i won't be meeting up with ramz! coz he hasn't asked so screw him
i'm starting at 10am so i get to get the t-shirts first thing when it opens at 9...i just hope i have something to occupy myself with during the meantime

anywayz, i pray to god that there is no inspector tomorrow or friday

my holiday as soon and i can do without the stress

so plz, i beg not to bring anymore stress and pain for my mum to handle.

please.

best quote from ghostbusters

2006-11-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

[alternate wording from cable TV version]
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine until the grid was shut down by wally wick here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes sir, it's true. This man is some kind of rodent, I don't know which.

i'm in the mood

2006-11-19T00:50:00.000-08:00

¬_¬ for some miccie d's!
but can't have any of that til tomorrow
hopefully i'll be with elwyne til then coz ramz won't be in or he'll be late not sure but thank god, i'm not waiting for the fucking faggot!

and hopefully i'll be able to buy the 2 posters i want
the dragon one and scarface
its a bit stupid though coz i can't even put them on my wall yet coz of the paint coz i gotta wait 2 or 3 months for it to officially dry

¬_¬ useless

but yeh, new stuff i got

a new notebook
plectrum
5 packets of extra chewing gum
new hair gel

everything else i bought with my money is food XD

hopefully i'll get £20 tomorrow like i have been done for the past 2 weeks coz its more easier and i get more money X] but its annoying trying to save some up for the train ticket coz since that incident last week with the ticket office being closed, i lost most of the money for spending an adult ticket so everyday i take the train i'm always worried whats gonna happen

but yeh, just wait and see til tomorrow

lol and i sooo need to do my nails, they're fricking long and coz i'm so used to having short nails, the nails actually feel like they're gonna fall off if i ever scratch something or whatever! but i can't do my nails til before i go on holiday

and its all 15 days to go!
nearly 2 weeks!

*sigh*

anywayz, gonna try and chill for awhile
gotta do ironing today to keep my £2 XD
so yeh, laterz

p.s. i'm talking to Anne (emma's sis)
wooo! its only on myspace but its something!
i saw her on friday and she saw me when i was waiting for the rain to stop with derek and jerry (everythings kool now...i hope lol)

but yeh, shes still cute to me even though they think she looks like a freak ¬_¬

and yeh! i saw ally too! and i heard her voice!
omg! orgasm! lol
derek and jerry saw her and jerry was like, 'why she not wearing any thing at the bottom man?'
lol!

coz she wears tights but this really tight jean shorts and it actually does look like shes not wearing any trousers!

but thats whats so hot about her...

*cough* yeh!
i'm blabbering on

bye!

p.p.s. i'm bored and wanna show u the stuff i got X]

what i fell in love with and out

2006-11-18T02:00:00.000-08:00

this girl on myspace randomly messaged me asking me to make her a sign saying i loved her on it and i asked why coz she was gonna put it on her profile and coz she thought i was hot so i was like 'woah wth' and this girl was bi and shit coz she told me before, anywayz, i don't wanna blabber on, at the end i made her the sign, she made me one back and i basically fell for her and she liked me so i was happy like hell but next day, everything has turned sour and she don't msg me back

this is her btw

beautiful...yeh
she was actually gonna come to england for a holiday in 3 weeks but i won't be here
but who cares
she doesn't obviously

my mates

2006-11-16T17:45:00.000-08:00

just goes to show you can never rely on trains

2006-11-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

monday mornings...
the worst...
why...

well obviously its the start of the week
coming back from a relaxing weekend

but for me
it is seriously the worst day of the week
and argh! the starting of it is what made it bad

as all mornings, i just wanna get my train ticket and go
but the lazy arseholes at the ticket office decided to close so i had to use the self service machine by it and i was worried coz this was my first time using self service and i had a right to be worried coz it didn't take my fricking £20!
and then the dude behind me was tryna help me and show me how to do it and the lil dude behind him was like, 'it don't take £20' but it says it does on the fricking machine so then the dude behind me was like, 'gimme ur £20 and i'll give u 2 £10' so i tried again and thought it would work coz when the dude used his £10 it worked so i used mine and it didn't work!

i'm like, 'omfg! seriously?!' and the dude behind me was sighing so heavily, i just wanted to fucking slap him!
this is like my first time using so give me a fucking break!

so i gave up and ended up missing my train, i called elwyne saying i was gonna be late and then after the train went, 2 ppl selling tickets were there and it was better than nothing and i saw marvin there aswell seeing if he could help me and this is where the funny part comes in...

when marvin asked for a return ticket to maidenhead
and he got to pay £2.70!
this dude has a fricking job and is like 19! (3 years older)
and he got a fricking discount!
and when i asked for a return to reading i got charged adult!

these fucking asians don't know shit in this country, i swear.
most of my money is fucking gone coz of that stupid paki!

i hate these fucking ppl
too lazy to work and getting ppl to sell tickets that don't even fucking work and charging more!

fucking retards

i bet the rest of the week will be like this

but on a fucking monday!

god sure knows how to make a fellow catholic happy

fucking bastard

i thought nothing can make my day better
but then seeing ally 3 times in one day
changed everything =]

cadets

2006-11-10T04:22:00.000-08:00

i've been asked many times by my friend lisa to try and join cadets but its something i wasn't really intrested in.

sure u get to fly aircrafts, shoot guns, etc. but its not really my thing.

i've been asked many times to join by my friends that were in cadets and i just felt like i wouldn't enjoy it or it'd be a waste of my time.

but then last nite i got a random comment from emma (one i fell for) and she just randomly commented me on myspace saying i should be a cadet

and i commented back asking 'why' but i've had no reply

and it just made me think whether or not to join
lisa said i should coz i'd be kool lol
like how? lol

so i'm not sure for now, until i get a reason from her, i'll think about it but i gotta go holiday soon so i'll have to think about it, i don't even know if my mum and dad will allow it. but yeh.

i need to know more about it and shit.
i got alot of thinking to do so its gonna be intresting...

nehhh

2006-11-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

my room has been repainted and at the mo, i'm getting all high on the smell lol

but yeh it was hell, i could use my comp til the next day and i had to sleep in my mum & dad's room (not with them in it...thank god)

it had a comfy bed and all but omg! i got like 6 distractions in one day!

even with my music on i still got woken up by like every member of my family, it was annoying.

but its over now and i'm back in my room, but my bed covers are still missing and the curtains for my window so its not complete just yet lol

and about the money problem, i had enough, i even got new batteries which left me with less money, i got enough for a train ticket tomorrow (thats if the inspectors don't come early ¬_¬) but then once i pay for my train ticket, i'm left with 85p lol and i got long morning coz my class don't start til half 10 and me and ramsey have a break to ourselves for 2 hours.

so hopefully i can get some food with 85p lol

i still have a whole packet of monster munches in my bag but i might be eating those today XP

anywayz, i'm hungry even mentioning food so i'm gonna go, the thought of having an open clear window is making me paranoid

so bye bye!

its funny

2006-11-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

how i had £21.50 (including £2 from ironing so thats £23.50)
and now i have £9.29

lets go through the maths

i spent £2.85 on my train ticket
now i have £20.65

i gave £1 to ramsey coz he lent me money for the nightmare before christmas wallet

now its £19.65

i bought a primo cappacino at costas for £1.90
now its £17.75

i bought new earphones which were £4.99
now its £12.76

i was hungry so i bought a mc chicken sandwich meal at miccie d's which was £3.29
now its £9.47

and take away that with 35p for chewing gum, i had extra change somewhere which made it £9.29

the reason why i have that much money is coz my mum couldn't be bothered to keep waking up early to give me money so she gave me my pocket money for the whole 3 days

which was supposed to be £24 but shes giving me that on wednesday

¬_¬

so yeh, as i was saying
i need to spend £2.85 for my train tomorrow
take that away with what i have now and thats £6.44
but then add the £2.50 i'll get on wednesday, it'll make it £8.94 but then take it away with my next train ticket, it'll be £6.09

i'm being extra careful with my money
i don't wanna spend all of it coz then my mum won't give me anymore if i don't have enough for a train ticket

i need to be right in my maths lol inbetween, i might a lil' snack here and there but thats it.
no more expensive stuff
although i need new gloves but my mum is gonna stitch the ones i have now and hopefully still keep my hands warm X]

so yeh
i better have enough money
i'll make extra sure of it XD

anywayz
maths lesson is over
tata XP

reeaaallly bored

2006-11-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

I am: VivaLaAnne!
I need: a relationship
I want: a relationship
I wish: i could have a fricking shower already and eat coz i'm hungry
I feel: tired
I hate: a few ppl
I love: my mates and family
I can't handle: being single
I miss: my cousins
I think: i should stop doing these surveys and take a shower already!
There is no need to: do these surveys
Life is: not complete without someone to live it with
Love is: hard
Last weekend: i was watching movies with my bro and his gf
Tonight: i did nothing but sleep
I am allergic to: nothing
Let's go: rave!
I would: eat and take a shower but i can't get off the fucking computer
When I fall for someone: i'm too scared to tell them and when i do i never get the right answer
My hands: have black nail polish on them =P
When I am alone: it feels quite nice but gay =[
I am listening to: Lacuna Coil - Humane
The last person I called was: my bro
The last text I recieved said: Im on my train, were gonna b there soon
Hugs are: nice
My house : is boring
There is a thin line between: something =S
My best physical feature is: my dimple lol
The last person I kissed: =X
The future: is something i can't predict
It's funny how: i still do these surveys when i wanna do something else
My favorite Dane Cook quote is: who wants some yums yums, i made snaaaaaaaaaaaacks!!!
The best BATMAN movie is: batman forever
I cried: can't remember when
Hospitals are: smelly
My shoes: are downstairs
I think porn is: umm...why u asking me? heh hehe heh... lol
When I was little: i didn't have a fringe XD
Cake: pie is better XP
I can't seem to find: a person to be with X[
I like my jeans: if u say so lol
I prefer: that this quiz wasn't so long!
I wish he/she would: like me
Rap music: is ok, i used to like it so i have a bit of it still in me
I remember: alot of things...when they are actually mentioned to me lol
This one time: at band camp... lol i love that movie
I love it when he/she: gives me a pie! mmm hmmm
Nothing makes me smile quite like: lisa =]
Tattoos are: something i want in the future
Piercings are: kool but when u go overboard and get chased by a magnet, don't blame me
I have a scar: on my knuckle, dunno where it came from
The best revenge is: sweet =P

bored

2006-11-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

This quiz contains 9 sections. Each of these sections has 10 questions.
Some of the questions are multiple choice, but the others you need to answer yourself.
Please answer all of them, thats the whole fun of it.....

Section 1: Sexual Attraction - Multiple choice.

Piercings or Tattoos: both
Fuller Figure or Slim: don't mind
Blonde or Brunette: don't care
Body or Intelligence: not fussed, just not too intelligent coz i'm a dumbass lol
Obsessive or Selfish: neither lol
Neat or Rough and ready:um...neat and ready i think
Casual or Formal wear: whatever
Male or Female: both
Popular or Anti-social: don't matter
Long or short hair: doesn't matter!

Section 2: Relationships - Multiple choice.

Internet or Long distance: neither
Dump or be dumped: neither!
Relationship or Open Relationship: relationship
Someone older or younger then you: not fussed, just not too young
A male or female partner: answered this already
Kiss romantically or full on make out: both
A thoughtful or expensive present: Thoughtful
Sex on the first date or wait a while: wait a while
Talk to a partner online or on the phone: online
Long term loving relationship or quick and fun: long term

section 3: Myspace - Multiple choice.

Met your friends or randomly add: both
Be open on your profile or keep it limited: keep it limited
Normal layout or Overlay: Normal
You have under or over 1,000 friends: Under, used to have over but most of them were a waste of time
Messages or comments: Comments
Use your blog as a diary or random stuff: both
You think Tom is hott or not: Not, hes a retard!
Post bulletins for attention, or talk to people first: i post bulletins for anything
You would or wouldn't meet someone from myspace: Would
You fancy a myspace friend or once did: did but theres 2 other ppl now =P

Section 4: Personal questions - Your own answers.

What is your sexuality: bi
At what age did you have your first real kiss (tounges): 7
Have you ever had a crush on one of your best friends: yeah
Would you do more then kissing with the same sex: yes
Do you follow the phrase "don't knock it until u've tried it": lol i've never even heard that phrase
Are you into things like phone and cyber sex: no
Would you trust someone to tie you up: not rily lol
Do you prefer Kisses or cuddles?: Both

Section 5: Family - Your own answers.

How many brothers and sisters do you have: 2 bros and a half sis
Are you an only child: no
Do you have any step brothers and sisters (if so, how many):
Are you and your sibling/s constantly rowing:rarely
Would you rather go shopping with your mum or dad: mum but my dad lets me buy anything if it ain't that expensive
Which family member does your personality most resemble:apparently i resemble my bro chris or my dad
Which family member do your looks most resemble?: my mum coz i saw a pic of her when she was 12 and she sooo looked liked me! lol
Do you hate any of your family (if so, who): its on and off
Are your relatives close to you or live far away:far far away
In your generation, which family member do you get on with the most: my bro chris

Section 6: Food and Drink - Multiple choice.

Tea or coffee: cappacino biatch!
Fruit or vegetables: Fruit
Plain or chocolate disgestives: chocolate digestives
Mcdonalds or burger king: mc donalds
Pasta or rice: pasta
Beer or Spirits:beer
Lemonade or Coke: Coke
Red leister or Mature cheddar cheese:mature cheddar cheese
Ham or Luncheon meat: ham
Plain or flavoured water: Plain

Section 7: Music and Films - Multiple choice.

Horror or Thriller: Horror
Crime or SCI FI: Crime
Romance or Physcological: romance
Chick flick or Comedy: Comedy
Factual or Fiction: ????
Rock or Metal: both
Accapella or Instrumental: instrumental
Techno or Dance: techno techno techno
Pop or RNB: neither
Punk or Death Metal: both

Section 8: Nature - Multiple choice.

Animals or Plants: Animals
Day or night: Night
Sunrise or sunset: Sunset
Stars or clouds: Stars
Winter or Autumn: winter
Spring or Summer: spring
Rain or snow: Snow
Rainbows or Shooting stars: shooting stars
Past or Future: Future
Science or Religion: Science

Section 9: You - Your own answers.

Who do you fancy at the moment: 2 ppl that i rather not mention X]
Your current relationship status: Single
Do you smoke, drink and/or do drugs: smoke occassionaly, drink only with mates and drugs...never!
What are your bad habits: get angry or annoyed quite easily, play with hair alot XD
To you, what is the key for a successful relationship:trust and dedication
What do you look for in the opposite and/or same sex:eyes, body, etc.
Have you ever had a paranormal event or Deja vu: think so, yeh
Do you believe in love at first sight: no but i believe in lust at 1st sight
A random fact about yourself: i love pie

Copy all the text from this bulletin, paste it into a new one of your own, and answer the questions about you.

new wallet

2006-11-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

=Z

2006-11-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

first thing, i got a new nightmare before christmas wallet for £4 at a disney shop in reading which is rily kool coz it glows in the dark...at least that what it says lol

but yeh, its rily kool, i can't be bothered to take pix, maybe some other time, too tired X[

next thing, my earphones

didn't even last a month!

already, they've started to fuck up
they're starting to not make any sound on one earphone and i have to keep playing with the wire to make it work.
even the ear pads have fucked off

so now i gotta buy new ones
and this time i might get the £4.99 ones if they're there or if any exist lol
it would leave me with not much money for food like today because i spent it on mcdonalds breakfast and the wallet which ramsey had to lend me £1 for btw, so that was kool but i gotta pay him back on monday so i'm tryna think of a way to get more money.
coz i get £8 a day
my mum sometimes gives me £10 coz she can't give me the right change so heres how it goes

£2.85 goes to the train ticket
then £2 for my mum coz my orginal pocket money is £8
so it leaves me with £5.15
£1 will be given to ramsey
which will leave me with £4.15

45p away from the earphones

but i need the food! lol

so i'm gonna try to do some ironing to get more money hopefully, by then i hope i get enough for new earphones and food for my full day on monday ¬_¬

now thats sorted

when i was walking out of the train station from college today, i coulda sworn i saw paul but he looked too tall and i didn't see the face so neh

but while i was walking, someone was walking back behind me and it was him! paul! not the same dude i saw but paul! i realized after turning around while i was crossing the road where he turned somewhere else.

he looked at me aswell and it was scary! i just quickly turned around again and tried to ignore it.

its so weird, and he doesn't live far from me i think which makes it even more freakier!

argh! i dunno! i don't even know if he still likes me coz i looked at his profile and he says he likes blonde girls lol
and i ain't blonde so fuck that lol

and omg! i saw ally! so fricking hot! argh! omg! i was being a fool with my friends and then out she comes. quite frankly, i don't care if i look like a fool in front of her, its the same with all ppl really lol

but yeh, she blows me away X]

and i love my friends at class, espicially derek, jerry and caren, i've started to get used to them alot better and they're really kool. i was hanging around with them all day today and walking to the town with them after college was just fun! sux that i ain't gonna be that close with them after we take seperate courses =[

ooo and theres this girl that captured my eye at college
i looked at her myspace last nite and shes alrite
shes bi, 17 and shes related to emma

noo not the emma that rejected me but the emma that ramsey likes

shes cute though but shes not sure on her orientation so i'm liking the sister at the mo

heres a pic

and heres the sister that ramsey likes...

so me and ramz are basically going for twins here lol
its such a challenge but i ain't getting anywhere these days lol

so yeh
i'm tired
this is a bit of a long blog so i'm out
i'll post pics of the wallet up soon

also planning to get new gloves or get my mum to stitch up my old gloves coz they're holey lol

mrr yeh! me...go...sleep
bye

i so would

2006-11-02T03:20:00.000-08:00

she goes to my college, and sometimes goes on the same train as me. this was the girl that messaged me about paul and shit. quite frankly i just want her more than paul lol

i don't have a chance coz shes straight annnnd shes better looking. even if she was bi or gay, i probs still wouldn't have a chance but i saw the comments she left on paul's profile and she actually viewed my pics and she likes the ones in my school uniform! lol and she actually reads my bulletins!

thats enough for me lol

another blog on my day off

2006-11-02T02:48:00.000-08:00

hey peeps
finally decided to do a blog, well its my day off and i'm actually bothered to do one and i got some stuff i need to lay out on some toast here

first things first, i gotta go to a presentation at my school coz they're giving out gcse certificates.
i see no point in everyone going if its just gonna be for the people that had good grades. Like me, i'll be only getting one ¬_¬ but yeh, i guess the main reason why i'm going and everybody else, is to see their mates. Like who wouldn't want to seriously? lol

but another thing thats bothering me is the dressing smartly crap we gotta do. my friend was bitching to me the other day saying its semi-formal and crap and i'm like 'wtf is semi-formal!?! i'm wearing what i want, i can't be bothered' and she was like, 'well be bothered and make a effort'

she ain't my fucking mum! why the hell do i have to listen to her crap!

i'm wearing jeans, and a normal t-shirt, with trainers. nothing wrong with that, its nothing special, not like anyone big is gonna be there. i'm probs only going up once so why give a shit.

anywayz, i think i made my point clear, i can't really be bothered to go on about it. i guess i just want it over and done with, no hassle, no fuss. just over!

ooo and i can't really be bothered to type more coz i'm hungry and like all things, just get it over and done with lol

but i wanna tell you about yesterday, the stress and exhaustion me and my family went through lol

i was worried that my mum didn't post my thing to say i was going to the presentation evening at school and i had a right to be worried coz she didn't!

she went out, passed the school and the envelope was right in front of her! so when i came home back from college she forced me to go with her to post it coz she was too lazy to get out of the car so i forced myself to go. and coz of traffic, when we got there the office ladies already left but thankfully the cleaning lady said she'd put it in the office for me which was swell so thank u office lady XD

then after, we had to go to langley and pick up my bro theeeeen my mum wanted to pick up my dad from work and i even fell asleep coz of how long this was taken, once my bro reached him he said he was still working and won't be finishing til another hour or so and my mum still wanted to wait coz if my dad went home with the lorry ppl would be complaining about it again (bunch of faggots)

but then later on, my other bro was at the highstreet so we decided to pick him up first, my mum said walk or run but he had a bad leg and it would've taken him 10-20 mins but then wanted to take a bus but we decided to pick him up, facing more traffic and then after, we went to get some pizza! yum yum yummy! =P then we went back to my dads work, waited 10 mins and he finally came, picked him up, went home laughing about stuff (weird stuff u probs won't understand) and the whole duration of this trip took nearly 3 hours!

i'm just glad to be home lol

what happens when u don't bring ur timetable to college

2006-10-30T10:39:00.000-08:00

when my 1 hour and 30 minute break started i saw elwyne and hung out with for lunch but they had to go back to class so i basically spent like 10 mins with them

wasting like 20 mins of my break

i thought my class was at 12.15 so i decided to go out quickly with ramz and once we shopped around a bit it was 12 already so i was hauling my ass back to the college and the time i arrived there was 12.25 and when i finally arrived there was a different class going on and i looked at the timetable next to the door and my class wasn't til 12.45!!!!!

moodafooka ¬_¬

theeeen after that class i finished i thought my maths class was gonna be at 2pm so i spared the 10 mins i had at the ict suite, rushed back to the class and realized it was 2.15 instead

¬_¬

a great annoying excercise...

YH! :D

2006-10-29T05:36:00.000-08:00

888888888888888888888888888888888
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888888888888888888888888888888888

getting over it

2006-10-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

she apologized for being a bitch about the whole just wanting to be friends thing and i couldn't possibly care now, i was just like yeh, don't care. you can feel bad but you won't feel bad for long.

seriously, 5 ppl liked this person!
and shes said no to all of them!
how could i possibly compete with those ppl? she even went out with one of em!

this person is 2 years younger than me and i know for a fact shes too good for me.

lost her virginity, already had sex with the same sex.

could never get to that point.

i only kissed a girl a couple of times and had sex twice. thats it.

argh! i just want a girlfriend! get over her!

fuck!

it's already over now

2006-10-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

i texted her last nite
turns out she don't like me that way

just as i expected

so i've given up

and gone back to the way i was

she finally knows

2006-10-25T12:09:00.000-07:00

in the way i was least expecting it lol
i was telling my friend how much i really like her and she was asking me to tell her but i was like, 'nah i can't, don't have the guts' then she was like ok, shall i like talk to her about stuff and then go onto the subject on what she thinks of you and go on from there

and i saw no problem in that

until she actually told her!

i told her she didn't have to go that far but it was too late and she knows

and its probably the worstest thing now

coz she doesn't know how to react, she didn't know what to say and stuff so that was one disaster already happening.

shes probs gotten over it now, coz shes off on myspace and doing whatever. my friend said she needs time to think about it and that but i think she isn't that bothered anymore

so it was all a waste of my time i guess

and i feel a whole lot down now

just really really reeally down

like the person finally knows u like them but it doesn't matter

i dunno what to do now

i can't forget about it coz its still eating me up inside

and the more she doesn't seem bothered about it, the more i feel like i don't like her anymore

this sux

i guess average???!

2006-10-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

-22 = ghetto
23-33 = average
34-43=spoiled!
44 = way upperclass/rich

Check each that applys do u have:
[x] Mother
[x] Father
[] Sister
[x]Brother
[ ] Nephew
[] Niece
[x] Cell phone
[ ] Own bathroom
[x] Own room
[x] 2 story house
[ ] Swimming pool
[ ] Hot tub
[ ] Guest room
[x] Computer, Laptop or Desktop
[x] TV in your room
TOTAL SO FAR: 8

[ ] Fullsize or bigger bed..
[] More than 5 pairs of shoes
[x ] Sunglasses
[ ] Watch
[x] MP3 Player/iPod
[] PlayStation
[ ] xbox
[] Nintendo DS or PSP
[] Gameboy/ Advance
[ ] Gamecube
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[ ] Basketball hoop
[ ] Air hockey table
[ ] Pool table
[ ] Ping pong table
[ ] Fooseball table
[ ] Trampoline
TOTAL SO FAR: 10

[] Nightstand
[x] Stereo in bedroom
[] DVD player
[ ] Have something from abercrombie and fitch or hollister
[x] Get $100 a month, btw thats £53.33 :]]
[ ] Shop at AE
[] Owns a Gucci, Dooney & Burke, LV, Guess, etc.
[] Wears Lacoste (perfume)
[] Parents give you credit card
TOTAL SO FAR:12

[] Job
[] Goes shopping at least every two weeks
[x] AIM/MSN/YAHOO
[] Camera
TOTAL SO FAR:13

[] electric or gas/scooter/motorcycle/car
[x] guitar/drums/bass guitar
[] Piano/Keyboard
[] Any other instrument
[] Hammock
[] Been on a cruise
[x] Traveled out of the state
[x] Had a personal trainer
[x] Expensive jewelry
[] Met a celebrity
TOTAL SO FAR:17

[] Straightener/curling iron
[ ] Been to a batting cage
[] Had 100$ at one time
[] Credit card or atm card,debit card
[x] Been to Europe
[ ] Been to Hawaii
[ ] Been to NYC
[ ] Been to Cali
[x] Been to Florida
[ ] Been to Las Vegas
[ ] Been to the Bahamas
TOTAL SO FAR: 19

[] Car
[] Jet
[] camping
[ ] Been to 5+states in the US
[x] 100+ buddies on myspace
[x] More than one house
TOTAL SO FAR: 21

[x] Home cooked meal almost every day
[] Been in a limo
[] Been in a helicopter
[] Own a camcorder
[] Own a laptop
TOTAL:22

Now add it up!!!
then put ur # and wat u r!

till this day, i'm still annoyed

2006-10-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

with those sluts kerrie and sarah!
i know i shouldn't, but i did go on their profile a few times and i read the comments kerrie left and i didn't know she could still be a bitch til now!

arghh! and i might see them next week!
the thought of being in the same room as them will just make me sick!
i heard sarah didn't wanna go but her mum is forcing her to go which makes it worse coz i don't wanna see her or her slut companion!

i hope all goes well next week.
nothing bad happening or embarassing.
i'll stick with my peeps and that.

anywayz, i feel like calling brenda now
shes always there to talk to when i need it.
and i need to tell her a few stuff

so later

i like her too much

2006-10-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

everyday i think about her
everywhere i go, shes still on my mind
i get excited whenever she goes online
i get even more excited when she messages me

i wanna be with her
more than any other person i've had my heart set on
i wanna tell this person how i feel
but scared of what will be said back
will she feel the same way?
will she say no?
and i'll be one of those 5 ppl that have already had their heart set on her

i more than like this person
i love her
and i'd do anything to be with her
i wish she could see how much i feel for her
and understand the pain of not being with her

she will never truely know
and soon
i hope she does

Untitled

2006-10-24T13:06:00.000-07:00

I wish I could forget you
But the image of your face is everywhere I go
It's too late, there's no fate
And I rather forget than to complicate
'Cause my heart is not set in the right direction
And I'm starting to lose all this affection
That I had, and I'm glad
That you found someone else when it could never be me

You were the one I was hoping for
Someone I could cherish and appreciate more
But that's gone, I'll move on
You were everything I had
Someone I was wishing for
But my dreams have been washed up on the shore
Now you're gone, I moved on
And I can never get you back

You were all that I had
And I can never get you back
The thought of you gets me mad
'Cause I can never get you back!

Rain

2006-10-24T13:03:00.000-07:00

I look up
I feel the water drip from my face
I look down
I see a puddle of my disgrace

So help me
The rain won't stop falling on me
And it's getting harder to see
I feel ashmed of the person I've been
So I pray
That my sins will be forgiven today
And the darkness will begin to fade
So God will you please help me
And stop this rain from falling on me

It's so hard
My body feels much heavier now
It's not easy
To figure what this world is all about

You can't save me (you can't save me)
From hurting (from hurting)
From deserving (from deserving)
This pain that I feel everyday
And I'm searching (I'm searching)
I'm learning (learing)
Learning that life is always this way
So rain can you please come back some other day...

My Own Prison

2006-10-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Everyday is the same
I got nothing else to do
I sit by my window
Wondering what all my friends are up to
I know it's a waste of time
Staying here with nothing to do
But my parents hardly let me out
And there's nothing that I can do

I'm locked inside my own prison
I think it's something that I deserve
You could say it's not fair
But my lessons are never learnt

It's hard getting a job
My parents won't give me much
I'm just a slob
Staying in this room all day long
Time is passing by
And there's still nothing for me to do
This life is just too boring
And everything around me is starting to get annoying

I always cry thinking of
The memories I had back then
Where I could almost go out everyday
Having fun with my friends
Going to shops with my family
I miss those times so much
But now we're all getting older
And those times are fading away
I think I'll be stuck here
For the rest of my days

random song me and my bandmate wrote but didn't finish it

2006-10-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

It looks like the one
Callum's brother tried to hump
His face was like he was trying to take a dump
He tried so hard to stop the cat from screaming
We could not believe what we were seeing

I'll be just fine
Coz when I look up
I see that kitty
Caught up in a tree

When we saw a cat up a tree
Trying to get a bird for free

and thats it lol

Last Day

2006-10-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

song i wrote on my last day at my high school

Time has gone so fast
If I had the change
I'd live it back
To the start
Does this have to end?
Will I be able to see my friends
again

I'm not ready to go
I'm not ready to leave
I'm not ready for this
I'm not ready to start this all over again

I'll miss you
I'll miss everything we do
Do we really have to say goodbye?

Ms. Slade's Multiplications

2006-10-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

Add me
And then subtract me
So I can get my
Multiplications
Multiplications
Multiplications

Why
Are you
Making fun of me
Fun of me
Fun fun f-u fun of me, so you can get your satisfaction

Ramsey, why aren't you learning your maths?
Stephanie, why are you making fun of my voice?
Brenda, why do you let anne-marie do such non-sense?
Kerrie, why do you laugh at anne-marie's impression of me?
Sarah, stop watching green wing and learn some maths?!
Sit down and learn some
Multiplications

Memory

2006-10-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking too much about
Something not worth talking about
But everyday it becomes more aggravating
The touch of your skin is so relaxing
My mind is too caught up on you
And I just don't know what to do

'Cause I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit, to even think about you
You don't matter at all

Get out of my mind
Erase thoughts left behind
'Cause I'm too caught up in the memory of you
Why can't you see
The person I'm starting to be
I'm still caught up in the memory of you

This is so annoying
It's really getting to be
I don't have the time to be thinking about someone like you
You're a waste of headspace
But you're hard to replace
There was no one as better than you

I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit, to even think about you
You don't matter at all

Get out of my mind
Erase thoughts left behind
'Cause I'm too caught up in the memory of you
Why can't you see
The person I'm starting to be
I'm still caught up in the memory of you

I can't reminise, too caught up in this bliss
It's so shit
To even think about you
You don't even matter at all

Pain

2006-10-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

I stand alone
Looking at these blood stained mirrors
Could I see a better vision of myself
Could it be any clearer
But I see, that there is no reflection
I think my existence is fading away

These days are so hard to get through
I'm slipping further away
And would you ever get to see through
The pain I feel everyday

I don't know what to do
So lost and confused
Would you feel sympathy
Or leave me abused
You're so cold

If I, fall down
Would you give me your hand?
If I, expressed
Would you even understand?

Run

2006-10-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

You're too scared to face the problem
Instead of staying to solve them
You run
So far away

Why don't you run
You think it's the best thing to do
Why don't you run
It's all you ever do

Would you run
So far away
Leaving everything behind
All alone, no where to stay
Did it ever cross your mind
That you're weak
You're just begging for sympathy
Show no mercy

So selfish
You can't see
That this world is a misery
You will get nowhere
If you don't stand up for yourself
You're not the only one

If you run
You're leaving the worst pain with you
But if you run
The memory will stay with you
And if you run
You'll never get strong
If you run
You'll face the pain alone

Don't Leave

2006-10-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

It's been cold days since you've been gone
And I'm stuggling to carry on
I'm getting weaker by the minute
Why's you leave? I still can't believe it

And I'm all alone
There's no one else to go to
And I'm trying to hold
My one last bit of hope

Don't leave
My life ain't complete without you
Don't leave
You're a long lost memory that's forgotten
Don't leave
This pain is too much for me
You're my only memory

These days aren't the same but my heart is not willing to change
It's on the same direction
What were you thinking? Letting my heart sink in your pool of deception

Don't leave
My life ain't complete without you
Don't leave
You're a long lost memory that's forgotten
Don't leave
This pain is just too much for me
You're my only memory

Inconsiderate
Such a shame
Am I the only the pawn in this game
Please stop holding me down
Such a fool
So severe
Fight me back and hold my tears
I'm so cold without you

Someday

2006-10-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

There's too much pressure on my mind
I wanna leave this all behind
Start a new life
Make things right
And take back everything I held inside

Someday
Everything will change for me
I'm sick of living my life in shallow dreams
I'm breaking down
Falling too fast
Someday I'll stop living in the past

I'm starting a new path
Rewinding back to the start
Your words of discouragement
Has hit straight to the heart
I will not forgive you

Someday
Someday, a new path is on my way

Unite

2006-10-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

Am I here?
Am I the only one?
I'm not so sure
Of what I've truly become
And these years, full of tears
We are fighting for
Ourselves because in this world
I'm not so secure

Will you be leaving me tonight?
Leave me alone in this fight
And now I'm dying here
Gone far away

Am I the fool?
Am I the jester?
So ridiculed
Could I feel better
For myself, and this world
Will we be hoping or choking on these words
You promised, you never kept your promises!

Am I done?
Are we the only ones in this world
Are we afraid?
'Cause tonight, we will unite
FIGHT!

Will you be leaving me tonight
Leaving me here to fight
And now I'm dying here
Gone far away

Does anyone wanna be alone?
Leave this world so cold
To make this place better
We have to fight!

Old Days (Change)

2006-10-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

What's gone on in the world today
Simple lives have become busy days
And when I wanna go out, my plans are delayed
I don't think I'll ever see my friends
I hope this is not the end

This world is changing
Things are re-arranging
Why can't things be like the good ol' days
And when I go out, its not the same
I don't want to live a life derranged

Do you ever agree what I'm saying
Happy days have turned to suffering
And does anyone think like me
Think what this world could be

These chavs, I wished they die, stick a needle in their eye
Why does this have to be
Money gone to waste, people's lives are at stake
I wish things were like the old days

100 Facts bout me!

2006-10-24T02:45:00.000-07:00

1. Full Name: Anne-Marie Felipe Kelly
2. Nicknames: VivaLaAnne!
3. Birthday: 18th April 1990
5. Zodiac Sign: Aries
6. Male or female: Female
8. School: St Joseph's
9. Occupation: Student
10. Residence: At home
11. MSN Screen Name: Take me away from these people watching from me just tell them im busy so fuck off and die
12. Hair Colour: Dark Brown
13. Hair Length: over my shoulders
14. Eye colour: Hazel
15. Weight: Duno
16. Height: probs 5'6''
17. Braces? Nope
18. Glasses? Nope
19. Piercings: ears
20. Tattoos: Nope
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty
___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Ramira Fernandez
23. First Award: sports day i think
24. First Sport You Joined: Kick Boxing
25. First pet: Dog
26. First Real Vacation: Philippines
27. First Concert: Alive concert thing @ skool
28. First Love: ...

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: Queen Of The Damned and Interview With A Vampire
30. TV programme: Spongebob
31. Colour: Blue
32. Rapper: The Game! blob lol and eminem
33. Band: Linkin Park
34. Song Right Now: Lostprophets - Always All Ways and Smile Empty Soul - The Hit, Chevelle - The Red
35. Friends: Brenda, Lisa, Simon, Emmanuela, Ramz, Jono
36. Sweet: Haribo's =P
37. Sport to Play: Basketball
38. Restaurant: Pizza Hut =P
39. Favourite brand: don't have one, i just wear whatever
40. Store: Blackwells, Prescence and HMV
41. School Subject: Music
42. Animal: PENGUIN!!!
43: book: interview with the vampire, the vampire chronicles
44:magazine: Kerrang!, rocksound and Metal Hammer
45. Shoes: adio

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Hungry
47. Single or Taken? Single
48. Have a crush: yush =[
49. Eating: want to be
50: Drinking: saliva
51. Typing: On Here n MSN
52. Online? Yes
53. Listening To: Element Eighty - Bloodshot
54. Thinking About: going to get something to eat
55. Wanting To: Go and get something to eat
56. Watching: myself typing this
57. Wearing: linkin park t-shirt, grey bottoms
___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? Yes
59. Want to be married? Yes
60. Careers in Mind: something involved in music
61. Where do you want to live: Somewere far far away from slough lol
62. Car: A nice 1

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: i don't mind but on guys i like blonde hair
64. Hair Length: don't matter
65. Eye colour: don't matter
66. Measureents: mrrr don't care
67. Cute or Sexy: don't matter coz i'm not much of a looker myself lol
68. Lips or Eyes: Both
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both
70. Short or Tall: Middle
71. Easygoing or serious: Easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both
73. Fatty or Skinny: not too much of either
74. Sensitive or Loud: Both
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: A bit of both

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: Yes
79. Had Alcohol: Yes
80. Smoked: yes
81. Ran Away From Home: was close to
82. Broken a bone: Nope
83. Got an X-ray: yea
84. Been with someone: no
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: I would never do that
86. Broke Up With Someone: no
87. Cried When Someone Died: Yes
88. Cried At School: Yes

__Do You Believe In___

89. God: yes
90. Miracles: Maybe
91. Love At First sight: yeh, just happened recently
92. Ghosts: Yes
93. Aliens: yes
94. Soul Mates: erm..yea suppose
95. Heaven: Yes
96. Hell: Yes
97. Angels: Yes
98.Kissing on The First Date: Yes
99. Horoscopes: Yes
wtf happened to 100?!??!

my day with lisa

2006-10-23T13:25:00.000-07:00

today was actually pretty good
despite the fact we didn't do much it was alrite, its nice to be out with someone than staying at home doing nothing.
and if u wanna know if the person i liked came...?

didn't come after all =[
coz she had to work at her dad's pub

in a way i was relieved coz i wouldn't have to feel nervous but the bad side was not meeting her.

but later on, i actually did wanna meet her. i asked lisa if we could go to the pub but she said she didn't know exactly where it was.

but yeh i'll talk about the day

i was late on getting there to start off with coz i went to the shop to buy chewing gum then the walk itself was longer than i expected, i woulda brought my skateboard but i couldn't see coz of my hair so i arrived about 10 mins late which was ok with her coz she said she wasn't properly ready and i also had problems remembering the house number lol even though she told me it when i called her before i was gonna go.
but i was lucky enough to find it and she has that double door see through thingy and i saw the envelop there and it had the surname of her so i was like, 'this is defo it!' lol

and it was weird coming in coz i haven't been to her house in probs about 3 or 4 years. and the dog didn't hump me this time like the last time i went there so that was good lol

we went upstairs for awhile, was on the comp and shit and i was watching tv then her mum came in and gave us muffins =P and she knew about the dude liking me coz she heard us through audio! lol now a mum knows a secret lol

so after that, lisa wanted to go out and i wanted to see the cadets thing she goes to and its waaay small! but it is britwell so what more to expect lol

then after, we checked out the fun fair which didn't look bad, the only thing that caught my eye was the spinny cartwheel thingy. that was kool. =P

after that, we went to the shops, got some snacks, went back to the hill and talked and stuff. lisa told me about louise telling her i was bi which actually made me a bit angry coz louise was the first person i told and i actually trusted her at the time and she went off telling someone else and she actually thought i fancied her!
like i would fancy a fucking mouse!

so that goes to show, you can't trust anyone. and i will never put my fucking trust in her again. god knows who else she told!

but lisa told me something even more sickening about louise so i guess that makes it fair haha!

but yeh after our lil talk, we went to the playground and when we finally got there we didn't know what to do so we just went back to hers lol then went back on the comp, fooled around and she had to have dinner at 5.30 and we left there 5 mins before 5pm and walked together while we were walking her dog, bob.

and when we came to our final destination. the day came to end and it was over

well at least i thought it was when i was talking with emma online and when she found out i was from britwell (i actually thought she knew before lol) she wanted me to come with her to the fair and i was like, 'O_O!'

so heres another chance

buut wasn't even sure it was gonna happen

and it didn't

becuuuz lisa couldn't come coz of no money and she had to drop off a friend annnd probs wanted us 2 to go by ourselves anyway lol

and i couldn't go coz i had no money, mum and dad wouldn't lend me money, my dad and bro said it would be dangerous and coz i was back to my nervous stage lol

and she really wanted me to go with her which made me feel even more bad =[

but i didn't end up going and nor did she, she went to cadets instead like she was supposed to lol but yeh, sux really

3 missed opportunities to meet the person i really liked in one day

bad luck? *sigh* mebbe

eeeeeeek! =S

2006-10-23T01:46:00.000-07:00

reason for the scary title is whats screaming inside my heart this very moment.

today i'm going to lisa's house in about 2 hours and 30 minutes and i'm shitting myself!

why?

well lets go to story mode, shall we?

lisa just invited me to go to hers yesterday morning and coz (like always) i have nothing else to do, i said yeah and i haven't been round hers in ages!

so we're all ready, just had to wait for the actual day til i read a bulletin on myspace from the person i like and said they had nothing to do on monday so here i was, stuck in between 2 choices. Shall i leave it and let this person find something else to do or be bored orrr invite this person with me and lisa and probs be even more bored!

and for some strange reason, i went with the second choice and the person said yes and of course, lisa was alrite with it alot lol

now here i am still shitting myself to this very moment of the thought of meeting this person for the very first time!

seriously, i really like this person and would do anything to be with this person! and thats what gonna make it so awkward!

i have bad experiences with meeting ppl for the first time.
espicially if its someone i like or chatted through msn alot.

like scott for example, we chatted a hella lot on msn and myspace before actually meeting up and when we finally did meet up, we hardly said hello to each other!

it took about 3 or 4 more meet-ups to actually get used to talking to each other but he wasn't still used to it but now i don't talk to him anymore. he was a moody cunt and i just can't be bothered.

but with this person its gonna be different coz i really like this person! scott was just a lil' something. not a huge humongus thing like this one!

i'm pretty used to meeting up with new ppl like with ramsey's mates, i never get nervous (well probably coz i don't fancy them) but argh! its gonna be soo different!

i'm not nervous of the fact that i'm meeting this person for the first time, i'm nervous at the fact that everything might not go so well and there'll be loads of awkward moments, i might even say something stupid or this person might even be as nervous as me!

and also, my friend hasn't exactly planned anything to do!
which is gonna be even more worse coz we're gonna be waddling around like penguins doing nothing! hopefully we'll think of something while we're there though.

but i must leave this for now, gonna take a shower and cool my head, try to relax and shit.

i'll tell ya later on how the day goes

thats if i'm not still not shitting myself from it all

what a fucking 2 days this was lol

2006-10-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

well its 2:35am
i'll tell you the full reason why i'm up later but first i must tell you the crazy events that i've encountered today lol

friday was a disaster as i mentioned on the last blog, but then friday night was even more chaos!
seriously, drunk fags everywhere, first drunk emos, then chavs surrounded the outside of my house and then my mum asked me to go shopping for her to get some foood and in a way i coulda said no but i had nothing better to do so i was like, 'yeh sure' nothing bad could happen, heh? lol

well nothing bad happened, just the fact of being surrounded by drunks is a nightmare for me lol
i seriously hate being around drunk ppl
and even when i get drunk, i hate myself for it coz my friends might think i'm a total pisshead lol but seriously, tbh i can't handle my drink so i'm just out of it in a flash lol

but anywayz, moving on from that, it was fucking armageddon outside! you wouldn't believe the things i saw, fucking 40 yr olds where checkin these teenagers, ppl hanging from street lights, standing in the middle of the road, i even saw one chick outside my house passed out on the road!

i dunno what was up last nite but that was pretty fucked up lol

and it was a nag tryna get to sleep, i even left my tv on just to block out the noise which helped but kept waking me up which is due to making me sleep late.

i woke up at half 9am and went on the comp for awhile, got bored, watched tv, got bored even more so i went back to sleep =]

and as always, theres distractions, lil kids outside and my mum hoovering but lucky for me i had my mp3 player to block out the noise =D but after my mum finished hoovering i just couldn't sleep anymore lol so i woke up, had a shower and i'm alive!
then my mum asked me to go shopping with her and i had nothing better to do so might aswell (without the drunks this time =P)

we first went to kfc, got a 14pc. bucket and had to go back home coz we didn't want the food to get cold and even if we left til last it would be a nag bringing it back so we drove back home, ate our grub and then my bro asks if we could drop him off at slough so we waited for 20 mins or so for them to get ready, we went, dropped them off and blah then went straight to sainsbury's (still woulda been easier to go to tesco's though ¬_¬)

when we arrived and my mum parked, there was no other decent spot, well there was but my mum likes parking at the nearest point possible coz shes too lazy to walk far from the shop lol and the place she parked at was a mother and child space and she said i had to make baby noises and cry lol then i suggested getting the big trolley with the chair so i can sit on it lol (aww i miss those, they were uncomfortable but so nice lol)

but yeh, we done our shopping til my ma wanted to buy some snacks...at LIDLS! mrrr ¬_¬

and it took fricking ages just to get water for our water thingy (you get them at offices and that)
and some snacks but the cue was long apparently then we forget to get plasters for my bro coz of his nails (such a wuss lol) so my mum had to go back then i waited another 10 mins singing to good charlotte lol and she only got medicine for our holiday incase any of us get sick but she didn't get the plasters lol
...coz she couldn't find any ¬_¬

but shes planning on going to slough for another shopping next week so i'll be going to that coz i need some hair accessories (new hairbands, hairclips) seriously my hair is like hard to control now, i just really need to cut it when i'm at holiday. It'll be sad to see it go but a much more easier life lol i won't be cutting it all off though, just trim the fringe, so it doesn't reach my chest or something lol

but yeh, finished shopping! came home and my snack was nachos and pepsi =P mmmm
had that with some dip then was on the comp for awhile, went downstairs, and my bro and his gf were already there!
looking at photo albums!

O_o

...Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i guess it wasn't that bad coz the first album was just our holiday in america but the 2nd will not be mentioned and shall never be lol although there are pics of my mum with an afro and a mullet lol

she rules lol

anywayz, my bro bought some dvds which i already watched

The Ringer and Silent Hill<<<(watched that at bracknell with elwyne, michael and joaquin, it was sooo good but soo ghey coz they were holding each other and shit when they got scared lol) but yeh, we watched those in my room, had a bit of sweet and salty popcorn and they bought their alcohol but i didn't have any coz i still had my iron-bru lol also this was actually the first time i spoke to my bro's gf no actually convos, just a couple of sentences here and there made her laugh and yadda yadda yadda so all is good so far and it only took a couple of months to achieve that lol and this will be good for the holiday coz at some point i have to speak to her coz i'm stuck with her for a month! not to mention the long journey i have to face getting there! so i'm glad, it'll probably progress as time goes on but for now, its still a bit awkward, i haven't reached that bit when i'm totally confident, i still look down, i can't give her eye contact and that so i'm still trying lol but yeh, i just keep blabbering on about the subject, which makes my blogs long! so annoying lol but anywayz, after finishing watching the movies, havin some curry inbetween with pudding =P and i think it was just me and my dad that ate it, everyone else was stuffed but i was the one that ate more what with the nachos, kfc, popcorn, etc. i surprised myself for still eating all of it. i went on my comp afterwards, chatted to lisa for a bit, went on myspace and shit and this is where the weird shit happens i have this girl on my list that i've seen at the train station quite a couple of times, shes cute and when i found her on myspace, i added her straight away lol we didn't msg each other anything, just left things the way they were but coz i was bored and she was posting alot of bulletins i thought i might go on her profile and when i looked at her comments, i could not believe what i just saw

O_o

WTH?!??!

i was so shocked, i told lisa about it and she was like, they must like you lol

and she might've been right

i didn't know who the hell he was at first but when i messaged her she said it was one of my primary school mates!

paul lomas

i was like OMG! i didn't know it was him
he changed fuck loads!
looked well different from before
he turned emo, and i heard that from my other old school mate Alex but i didn't believe him coz hes a knob like that lol

but yeh moving on, i messaged her and he messaged me but i didn't notice til she told me lol

and looking back, she dropped a big massive hint!

O_o O_o!!!!!!!!!

when i read his msg, he said he sees me at the train station but i never noticed but i did see her lol

and look at this other comment coz i defo know its about me!

now i'm having heartattacks! lol

she actually watched me on monday! thats freaky aswell!

oh and also this girl goes to the same college as me and she sat in front of me aswell at the train once annnnnd whenever i never notice her, ramz sees her and just randomly blurts out 'hey thats that girl you think is cute!'

*SLAP*

¬_¬ thank u

but yeh, its obvious he likes me

but why?! lol i'm not much a good looking person lol

and this is my mate from primary school! its like weird!

and i like someone else =S

and this is what is leaving me in deep thought and keeping me up late

but i'm gonna end this now coz its nearly half 3

i'm gonna go and get more sleep and try not to think about

i hope =S

argh! just the thought of might seeing them after half-term is gonna scare the living shit outta me! well i guess thats the halloween kicking in lol

Worst day ever

2006-10-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

i'm gonna push myself to do this blog

coz i spent nearly half an hour on doing one in myspace and when i finally wanted to post it, this is what i got:

This user's profile has been temporarily disabled for special maintenance.The profile will be available again shortly.Sorry for the inconvenience.
//

10/20/2006

i really wanna kill tom ¬_¬

anywayz, y'know the previous blog i done where i said i didn't have a bad luck last week when it was friday 13th?

well i think that bad luck has returned and is kicking my ass at this certain moment.

I shall explain...

Coz i my class didn't start til 10.30am and ramz and elwyne didn't wanna meet up, i decided to take the train at a later time.

Worst decision...

it meant i had to walk to the trainstation! So i finished getting ready, only having 40 mins to get there but thanx to my mum taking long to give me my pocket money, it changed to half an hour so i was hauling my ass!

not was it bad enough walking there but in the rain was the worst. Cause i wasted time doing my hair and coz of the rain it faded the gel away making it look like monkeys just took over my hair!

when i finally got there, 20 mins before the train was gonna take off, i was relieved and ready to get my ticket. Til i came in and theres this other random worker there and he asked if he could help...lemme put this in convo sense

dude: may i help u?
me: yeh i'm just gonna get a ticket here *points to pay desk*
dude: no just tell me what u want
me: err ok...um i need a return ticket to reading
dude: and how old are u?
*this is the part where i wanted to lie to get a cheaper ticket*
me: 15
dude. Date of birth?
me: 18/04/89..err i mean 91
dude: 89?
me: 91 sorry
dude: do you have any id?
me: no
dude: do you have a number i can contact for someone to bring evidence of your age?
me: what?! i just want my ticket!
dude: but i need proof of ur age
me: ok fine! *sigh* i'm 16
dude: right, that'd be £5.40
me: O_o

half of my pocket money was gone
and i was planning on buying new batteries with lunch aswell coz my ma didn't shop yet
i only got a chance to get a packet of crisps and a bottle of pepsi max
and that was for breakfast =[
i have no lunch and and i'm hungry as hell
i was lucky enough to get batteries for £3 but i only got 20p left now thanx to that bastard!

last time i'm gonna take the train late ¬_¬

next, my train stopped for 10 mins while it was 5 mins away from reading, not bad luck, but just retardedness

so yeh. money was the 1st thing i needed, i was so hungry, my tummy never stopped rumbling!

all i had to eat was chewing gum! O_o yum...?

anywayz, after i finished my class, i realized there are quite a few rude ppl in my class, like i got the task paper out of my back and was using it til one of my classmates just snatched it off me, and i was like, 'i'm using that, its mine!' and she was like, 'nah!' didn't even listen to the teacher, she just didn't care. If its on my desk, then its mine. Not my fault she can't look after stuff or fill up her bag with make-up and wigs!

geeez, bring up a kid with manners, ffs!

didn't care anyway, my other good mate was kind enough to lend me his so nehh, fucking scumbags lol

anywayz, the day was finished, ticket didn't work and blah.

bought my 10p crisps lol made some chips, etc

can't be bothered to go on, but right now, theres fucking drunk emos taken over britwell and its fucking scary

and its not halloween yet =S

anywayz, right now is a good time for this song

Get music codes at Bolt.

Six A.M.
The clock is ringing
I need to spend an hour snoozing
'Cuz I don't think I'm gonna make it

I punch in
I'm still sleeping
Watch the clock,
But it's not moving
'Cuz every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
And I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever
And tomorrow won't be better
It's history repeating(on and on)
Summer plans are gone forever
I traded them in for dishpan water
And every day is never ending
I need to work I'm always spending

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Whoa - oh
Every day is the worst day ever

It's so long
I can't go on
It's so long
I can't go on

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day
Over and over again
I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

Whoa - oh
Every day is the worst day ever

Whoa wo-oh whoa wo-oh whoa
Wo-oh whoa wo-oh whoa whoa wo-oh
The worst day ever
Whoa wo-oh

Stay

2006-10-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

If only I could see your face one last time
And take me to that place that makes me alive
I want you to take me to a place
So much space to unwind
I wanna let you know I feel deep inside
And see the smile that's hidden in your eyes

I wanna stay with you
Don't ever leave
I need you here
Don't go

I'm sick and tired of missing you
And I hate, just wasting a second without you
And I'm lying here thinking
Will this life have a meaning
If I, don't have you at all

There's love at a special place
I wanna take you there
But I don't know if you'll stay